The story of Ass and Assness

YOU, my sweet little bitch, dont get to tell ME, what I can, and cannot do.
Okay?
Okay.
So yea Ima be ranting again.
I was just hooked to Supernatural for the past couple of weeks only to be disappointed in the end. After five seasons you'd expect some shit to be awesome right? But nope.
Sad stuff.
My exams went better than expected which is good. But better because I dint study and Im still getting 2 A's and 3 B's. So yeah. Lets get down to business.

So this masters dude in my department right. Thinks he's a rock star for some reason. Lets call him Ass. So Mr. Ass thinks he knows it all because he's older and more educated than the rest of us. The day I saw him I knew Ima have some beef wit' him.
Its just that, Mr. Ass and I have too many mutual friends, so I cant help but communicate once in a while.
So Mr. Ass just told me I cant intern at this super awesome place because they require the internees to administer intelligence test and evaluation and require them to make reports and provide tentative diagnosis and some divine knowledge which a person, who has only studied for ONE semester in IPP, does not have.
WHAT MISTER FUCK IN THE ASS DOES NOT KNOW IS THAT I ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING BACHELORS DEGREE AND I MAKE PROFESSIONAL REPORTS FOR LIVING FOR UNIVERSITIES IN THE UK AND THE US AND GET A FUCKING B+ EVEN THOUGH IM ONLY A BACHELORS STUDENT AND I DESIGNED THE GOD DAMNED VIRTUAL VERSION OF DSM BACK WHEN I HADN'T EVEN DONE MY BACHELORS. BACK WHEN HE COULDNT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PSYCHOLOGIST AND A PSYCHIATRIST. Ass kahi ka. Moreover, I practically live in a mental house and have been providing psychological guidance for the past 3 years. I think all that is worth more than his lousy 48 hours internship. Stupid Ass telling me I cant get an internship. Ass pimple kahi ka. Ass.

Also, recent studies have shown that catharsis is not really cathartic. It only makes you more angry and frustrated. All my fellow emo bloggers out there, there is no hope for you. You must die u_u

fb Douche

You know what I hate?
Undercover people on facebook.
You know the ones coitus-ing with their privacy settings.
The ones you cannot search or add or see...
You know whats more annoying? When you can see their names and you know that they use fb but you cant see their dp or any info or anything at all..
Mutlab...ap koi Brad Pitt hain?
You think that the purpose of my life is to stalk you day and night?
Is that what you think?
Oh you're so cool with your invisible dp?
Well I think you're a fucking douche.
Especially dudes.
Its more frustrating when guys do this gay shit.
Im a girl. A good looking stalk-able girl. If Im okay with sharing some of my profile with the world, you being a very unpopular average guy, have no right to go undercover.
You're not the center of the universe you know. Stupid gay bitch.
Grow some balls and be a little public you self obsessed vain idiot!
Ghussa ara hai. Ek to maine search kara...itna effort...I never do that...and now that I did...all I get is "this douche is up his ass and so you cannot view his shit"
stupidfuckingbenchoborntopissmeoff.
I wasnt gona fucking rape your boring soul. Add hi karti. Ya poke kardeti.
Pata nai social network join kiu kartey hain fi they dont want to socialize.

Hate Post.

I've been trying for over two years to NOT do this publicly since we're related but..just...whatever.
My cousin Amna. Know my cousin Amna? Yes. Her.
There are many people who annoy. I've known them all my life. But She is the only one who makes me want to put myself on fire and scream and run on the road and die.
Know whats more frustrating?
I cant explain what it is about ehr that annoys me.
Im just really out of words when it comes to her.
Where do I even begin?
Okay. Fuck real life. We only meed once a month. And we have fun. Shes funny. But.
B.U.T. Okay. Never mind life. Lets just stick with facebook.
You know I've actually blocked her from my newsfeed because her annoying statuses and comments and likes and pics really ruin my day. Like they actually put me in a bad mood.
I know dont know how she does it.
Just. Okay. Lets begin from her status updates.
Oh and in case you're wondering why Im pissed off suddenly...Thye dint visit for a while so i thought I'd say 'Hey' but I dont feel like having a conversation so I decided to drop a hello on her wall. And now Im pissed off.Here's a list of her recent fb statuses. Oh, also do notice that all these updates took place on the same date.


Now...you may ask. But all the dumb bitches do that, what is so annoying about this particular one?
Allow me to explain.
My cousin Amna. What can I say about my beautiful cousin Amna.
Shes not dumb. Nor stupid. Quite sharp actually. A quick learner. But you see. When you combine sharp with benightedness [Yea I had to google that one], you get an Amna. I really cant think of anyone like her:\
How do I explain her personality. Rather personalities. Okay Im not gona get personal and talk about her vanity and secret evilness that she herself is not aware of. Nor am I gona comment on her selfishness and narcissism.
Its just that...she has asked a lot of question in the past few years. Here are a few examples [Im seriously not making these up]:

What's a do-chi? [douche]
You people study about the rapists? [therapist]
What does 'up yours' mean?
What's a doody? [Dude]
What's a dodety? [Dudette]

Okay I think of all the stupid things she asks me...but here's a conversation I had with her about two years back [We were 20].

Amna: Uzma...Why do you tear the pages of your calender?

Me: umm..what am I supposed do with them?

Amna: You can use the calender next year...itna acha to hai..

Me: ahahahahahahha....

Amna: What? Im serious...If you dont want to use it given it to me...

Me: You serious?

Amna: han mujhe de dena dont tear the pages.

Me: o.o

Im seriously not making this up. It actually happened. And there are so many things. I cant remember much right now. But you have a little idea about her now right? No scroll back up and read her status updates...

Yeah. Also, she begs me to comment on her status and pics and shits and asks me to like shits and then she uses my phrases and acts like hot shit but I dont care about that. Its just that. She pretends to be so cool in front of people. And you point it out she makes a joke out of it and makes it all haha. And then she uses big words and is continuously trying to make me look bad cuz I point out her oh so obvious grammatical errors. And puts up all my bad pics and then comments like hot shit. Just. And asks me how to reply to a person who uses words that have more than 6 letters. And she doesnt even know the difference between words and letters. ANd then she claims she knows me inside out. ARRRGHHH. Shes just so annoying at times.
But I have a good time with her. She's hilarious:\

Blogger blues.

I hate reading blogs. Its so fucking annoying. You go to one and then you see an interesting title and go to another and so on and before you know its fucking 3 am. I just went around to check Roshni's blog and then I hopped to the other titles and I ended up wasting like two hours on blogger. I have a 5000 word paper to write PEN-TOAD!
And you know the sad part? I dint read a single interesting post...besides that one on Kasana's blog...or was it Xeb's...dunno I confuse between the two. Anyway thats irrelevant.
The thing is...every single blog I checked out is following Ubee the boo-hoo guy!!
Mutlab like...kiaa?
Like...seriously?
You find him that interesting?
Mutlab...seriously?
I mean like....ya know...the guy wrote that lame erotica...yet he has how many followers? Wait I'll check.
He has...okay forget it the blog is too dark and I dont feel like wasting my eyes.
but still...
You seriously find that guy that awesome?
For real?
Im really sorry...I dont mean to be rude...really...just...its frustrating you see.
He's like Bieber and Monatana.
You may raise the question that I too have followers but...like....you really wana compare?
Are they pity followers?
I remember I followed his blog because he followed mine and even commented regularly...but then I actually read his stuff one day and then I un-followed.
But...ugh. Whatever.
And Im not jealous if thats what you're thinking...when I get jealous...I ignore the being completely and deny them the right to be acknowledged.
But yaar...like...what the hell is wrong with everyone?
First they give Bieber the artist of the year award and now Ubee is the shit?
Is that what the mayans warned us about?
I want to die.
Cant believe I wasted my night like this.
Stupid bloggers with lame posts under interesting titles!

Dear Stupid Bitch on Facebook

Ye larkia apna mu tera kar kar ke kiu picture leti hain?
Yes, it still bothers me and I dont think I can ever get used to it.
Every time I come across a close-up picture of a girl in which she is looking away, while most of her face is covered with her hair, I want to shave my head and peel the skin off of my head with a peeler.

No, Im not exaggerating, these are exactly my feelings.
Just...look at these picture...do you think someone else took them?
Are you buying that shit?
That the girl had absolutely no idea that someone is taking her picture?
Seriously?
Do you really believe that the girl was innocently looking away, minding her own business, when some secret admirer quietly sneaked beside her and clicked without her even noticing his/her existence? And later, s/he showed the girl her angelic picture and she went all "OMG When did you take this? I had no idea...teeheheheehehe"
What are they trying to prove?

Fine, you're not ugly. Alright. You may be good looking. Okay. Good for you. But do you absolutely have to create a scene?
Do you absolutely have to celebrate you not being ugly?
Every week?
Every single god damn week?
Mutlab kia yaar...aap koi Brittany Spears hain?
Its just...irritating alright.
I dont know why it bothers me so much but it does.
And I do have a life...Im working two jobs...three if you count all the cleaning that Ive been doing for the past month...for which I will charge my people 2k.
And I also happen to be pretty alright looking....but unlike these stupid sluts, I look in the eyes of the muthafukin photographer.
Its kinda funny though...Im an academic writer, a tutor, and a part time maid who is pissed off.
Well...not anymore...I kind of cheered myself up. Heh.
Blogging does help:\

P.S. Dont you dare tell me that the pics are pretty. They look pretty cuz of the soft focus and extensive use of picassa.

P.P.S. I wasnt mad cuz of these idiots. These bitches dont matter. They be my displacement.

Religion - I know mine. What?:s

I dont like Muharram. Do you like Muharram? I have major issues with Muharram.
Now I dont want to get into the shia-sunni practices here [notice how no one ever wants to get into that?] but seriously, the over all drama is a bit too exaggerated.
If I have issues and questions about the so called "religious" practices I should be allowed to address them and not just shut-the-fuck-up-and-ignore but thats what Ive been doing for the past...forever...and will continue doing till I finally grow girl balls to go out there and actually slap someone.

Whats with the rallies? Do we get blessings for doing that?
Which act do you think is more religious? Marching out on the street yelling and crying or staying at home and praying?
Mutlab kia yaar...? Hastey honge sab dekh kar tamasha.
Itni kasam se pathetic si koi awam hai.
Ek bara sa crowd that has absolutely no clue of anything at all.
Fazul ka drama.

You can cut yourself open but just know that Im not feelin' ya. Not many people are.
We just look at the show with mixed feelings of contempt and amusement and avoid passing any comments because we just Dont want to argue or be called Kafir.
Personally, I dont argue because I dont have enough religious knowledge to back up my statements. But I think I know stupidity when I see it.
And you know...whatever...go out on the streets, go Black, go morbidly religious...really whatever...not making a difference in my life. Im just hanging out at home doing nothing. I dont have to go out on the street and run naked or anything....streets are all yours...but whats with these people taking over the television?

If you live in Pakistan you probably know what Im talking about.
Those weird shows where this super-intelligent-and-smart-and-religious-and-super-scholarly dude is sitting in front of this super emo audience and narrating the events that took place on the 9th and 10th Muharram.
I always found the whole thing quite scary actually...as a child. But last year I decided to actually listen to that dude. I mean...he's been screaming for years now...deserves a lil attention right?

So he begins very normally...in a very kind tone. And Im like...yeah okay..Im listening. And I did listen. For the first half everything seemed quite okay...besides those creepy smiles that he passed every time he connected Islam with science. But...thats ignorable.
Anyway...I was pretty engrossed in the whole thing after a while...and then suddenly I noticed the lights of the set going dim. And Im like...Okaay...
And then suddenly I heard a few men growling and sigh-ing...And Im like...oooookaay...
And then suddenly the holy narrator began asking rhetorical questions [which were not even that smart, honestly]...
And then suddenly he started screaming. And Im like...Oh no...Altaf Hussain...
And shortly after every one started crying...loudly...like I cry every time my mum makes Korma. By the way, my mum made korma today -.-

So, the point is...if you want me to take you seriously, please act normal.

Idiots.

Seriously...what the hell is wrong with guys nowadays?
Why do they get offended so easily?
They're getting worse than girls.
Pehley when you refused giving your number they would just be a little sad but end up "understanding" but now..they like get offended.
Like "How dare you not give me your number...Do you know who I am? I am the best guy I know"
This kid...he stopped talking to my friend cuz I refused giving my number and dint talk to her for a whole week.
Itney loser kiu hogai hain sab?
I mean...c'mon...I have the right to not give my number and address to a stranger. Itna bura maan ne wali kia baat hai?
Guys can no longer take insults. They've grown ovaries somewhere inside.
Which explains their random mood swings.
Idiots.
This dude. I told this hot shit dude that Im "not interested" and he ended up getting so pissed that he blocked me from facebook, was angry the whole day, and kept abusing me in front of our mutual friend.
And I dont mean abuse like "that-bitch-sucks-abuse" abuse. I mean "maa-bhen-pen-rubber-utensil-abuse" abuse.
I dont know what the fuck is wrong with that retard.
Mutlab kia?
I dont even know you akhroat brain.
Zara charming nai hain meri generation ke bandey.
Im gona get married to a guy who is at least ten years older than I am.
Bus.
Ive had it with these new "men".

No sexy things.

Pagal loag.
Annoying loag.
Impatient, shallow loag.
Irritate karna to bohat zaruri hota hai sab ko.
Everyone was born to piss me off.
To piss me off at some point in my life if even for a second.
If not directly, then through a chain of reactions.
I know God, you just made it all happen to piss me off.
It aint shaitan or heaven or hell.
Its me.
You wana piss me off.

Nai karni mujhey baat kisi se.
Peechey par jatay hain sab ek baat ke.
Kuch bhi nai karna mujhe.
Nai milna kisi se.
Nai karni stupid job.
Pagal gay si job.
Loser ki tarah sara din nerd pana kartey raho laptop ke samney.

Fazul cheap harkatain horai hain do din se.
Email bhejo.
Email receive karo.
Ami ko dikhao sab kuch zoom kar kar ke.
Pata nai kia masla hai.
Bus jarai hoon mai ghar chor ke.
Mujhey nai karni kisi se baat.
Itna explain karna parta hai sab kuch.
Why isnt "I dont want to" reason enough for anything?
Ab ami ko sab kuch explain karo.
I dont want to have a long emo conversation.
Stupid conversations.
I dont like talking.
I dont like social interactions and I dont like having conversations.
Why cant I just sms everyone for the rest of my life.
Aye haye.
Abi to puri life pari hai.
Itni sari.
Kia karoon gi mai itney sarey saal?
Yaaar.
I hope I die young.
From a seizure or something.
Is that possible?
Ive never heard of it.
Im too annoyed to google.
I like google and milo.
Kia yaawr=[
Keema sucks.
I dont like keema.
Stupid keema.
Nai khana mujhey kuch bhi.
Leave me alone.
Jao sab celebrate karo apni meaningless lives.
I wana try maggot cheese.
Achi, Scotland wali.

Blogs

I sometimes read blogs other than mine. Rarely actually.
I almost never read a full post. Not that I have standards just...I lose interest.
Anyway.
Why do people write "sorry I haven't been blogging much lately but I promise I will blog more in near future" like they're writing the constitution and the lawless country is waiting for them to complete so life can continue?
I mean...Who cares?
Matlab...why do you think your blog is making a huge difference?
Its not.
Some random rants and opinions dont change shit.
I think the world already has enough opinions. Its the actions that we lack.
I dont mean to sound like a wise jack [or something whatever] but just...enough with the opinions.
I know I know...my blog is the same.
But here's the thing. I know.
Um...I think got lost with the logic somewhere in between but..
Khair.
The point is...Not a single blog in the world is making any difference.
You see, people in charge do not spend their time reading blogs.
Just informing.
Political blogs annoy me.
Random blogs are lame.
My blog is stupid.
All blogs are cathartic.
But I like the funny.
We should have more funny stuff around.

Annoying judgmental people make me give explanations.

[Dear Mr/Ms. Affectionate and Insightful, this post is not to mock or offend you. Its just that you represent a whole bunch of people who annoy me. So its nothing personal just expressing my feelings here in all happy positive blah].
I usually dont do this but since we're all expressing our opinions here so what the heck..
So here's the comment I got for my last post:

"Helplessness? Desperation? You can spend 17000 rupeees on clothes but cant help people dying from the floods cause youre HELPLESS? Is this how all of the pakistanis have started to think now. you were hungry but have you thought about those starving to death? If you can afford 17000 on clothes you can afford to donate a thousand bucks to the flood effectees."

I have a few questions for you first. How do you know I dint help or donate? Are you sure the girl annoyed me because I was hungry? And how do you know "it" didn't mean anything other than the flood?

Now, allow me to answer your queries.

i. Helplessness?

Yes, helplessness. Remember zalzala zadgan? Any idea how much aid we got for that nationally and internationally? Any idea where it went? Neither do I.

ii. Desperation?

What desperation? I dont remember talking about any desperation regarding the flood.

iii. You can spend 17000 rupeees on clothes but cant help people dying from the floods cause youre HELPLESS?

I dont mean to disgust you, but I still have a lot of shopping left to do. I will be spending at least 15,000 more. As far as the latter part is concerned. I sure can donate, and I have [may be not to that annoying girl on the street], but I dint know that it also requires me to stop eating and buying and breathing.

I just happen to personally know the annoying students campaigning. They cant wait to get out on the street and shout that they care and no one else does. They come in variations. These are the people who take out all the old clothes from their closet - clothes they dont wear anymore, clothes that were in the closet just for the sake of it, clothes that are out of fashion - and donate them. That of course gives them a sense of superiority and a free lisence to walk around with this undeserved sense of pride. In their world, those old clothes will make up for the medicine, food, shelter, and hope which is needed. I mean, nothing says "I care for my country more than you" than a bag full of old clothes.

These are the same people who watch the news, nod their heads, sigh, say "tch tch", go out for iftaari and have a great time.

iv. Is this how all of the pakistanis have started to think now. you were hungry but have you thought about those starving to death?

Damn right thats how we feel. Zardari is our president for crying out loud. People here watch other people get beaten to death and then hanged on the street and do nothing. We have to wait for months to give exams and then wait for months again to get our result. We spend at least three hours a day without electricity. I think its justified if we feel a little helpless. We never really get our basic necessities to think about other things.

I dont mean to burst your bubble, but nobody cares. We pretend we do, and we do, for the whole thirty minutes we watch the news, but then we have to continue our lives. We pretend that we do, and we want to, but actually dont. Its just that, we're used to it. Its routine now. First it was zalzala, then free judiciary, then the brutal law enforcement agencies, then electricity, then inflation, now flood, and Im sure something even more exciting will pop up next week.

You made me sound like fucked up citizen who complains all the time and does nothing. I dont like you.

Pathans, lemons, and Justin Bieber

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Ever had anyone fall in love with you the moment they lay eyes on you?
Well...I have. Quite a few times actually.
You see...when I walk in my ninja gear with my Swagga...I turn heads.
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Not just any head...Im talking about pathan heads in particular. Now now, Im not being a racist...I myself am a part pathan and I think they're totally sexy in a very bisexual way which is very sensually provoking - with all due respect.

Why discuss pathans in particular, you may ask, when the ogling community consists of everyone with an outie all men irrespective of their background?
Well, first off, Im not talking about ogling at all, I consider the topic to be too lame to be discussed by me. I am talking about love at first sight.
Second, girls ogle as well.

But still uzma, why pathans?
Well...you see, when people ogle they look, do things with you in their head for like a few seconds and stop when youre out of their sight.
But my dear pathans, they dont just look, they fall in love.

Cuz I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do...

In fact, when they see a woman, or anything with boobies, theyre so overwhelmed that they're unable to control their actions. They actually admire you. And they dont know what to do with their excitement. The purity and innocence of their feelings are reflected in the comments which they end up saying, involuntarily of course.

Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Usually, you get things like "Kaha jarai ho?" or "idher to dekho" or a wink with a fucked up paan smile...
But poor pathans end up saying things like "Mashallah" like a newly wedded groom would say to his wife on their first night. Or something like "Bohat pyari lag rai ho" like a devoted lover who's asking permission to hold hands with you.
See the difference?
Pathans are so misunderstood.

I hate it when I go to bathe and the soap/shampoo is missing. Makes me want to burn down the house. And I hate calling my mom from inside the bathroom and asking her to get it for me and then waiting a zillion years, naked, for her to come back with the required materials. Same thing happened today. But I was so irritated that I decided to use the hand wash instead of a soap. Not just any hand wash, the hand wash that I've been avoiding for months because of the strong smell. And now I smell like I spent the night inside a lemon. nd I hate the soft creamy feeling youre left with after using hand wash or fancy soaps. I dont want to wash off the germs on me with a creamy soap...I wana fuckin bathe in acid and be squeaky clean. Stupid sensitive shitty products. And my nose is so gay, that I cant use a proper soap on my face. I get allergy. So I have to use special odor less soaps and face washes. Know what...Since my nose is so gay-ish-ly annoying, Im gona call her Edward Cullen from now on.

Also, Whats with Justin Bieber and his dick baby?
Isnt he like ten?
Has he even grown yet?
Why are twenty year old girls falling in love with him?

You're not funny. Bus Chup.

I have this friend whose sense of humor annoys the life out of me.
And every time I try to tell her that her sense of humor is a bit too extreme, I end up offending her...cuz she says she learned all the slang from me.
I dont see how cuz the only bad words I ever used were 'fuck' 'shit' 'damn' 'dick head' and 'bhen...' [just bhen...thats it...nothing after that...I never said the full thing till 2009].
Now I fail to see the contribution of these words to her abusing in hardcore Urdu saying everything from R... to L... and telling fucked up sex jokes.

Its not like I have double standards that abusing in english is alright and not in urdu...
Well...actually....I do have double standards.
Its just more offensive in urdu.

And...why do you have to curse in detail anyway...?
Why isnt 'fuck off' good enough anymore?
Why do you have to define what kind of fuck?
I mean....fuck itself should be able to satisfy you yea?
Why do you have to locate the fuck and then comment..?:\
Its just...fucked up.

And I hate forward text messages. They're not funny.

.....I dont like it when they say I taught them slang cuz I dint.
My slang is very innocent and clean.
Yours is sick.
Mine is an involuntary response.
Yous is an organized offense.
My slang is Che Guevara's retaliation.
Your slang is Johnson's attack on Vietnam.

Your pathetic slang can never be a by product of my slang.
No sir.

Finally a post triggered by some emotion.

Okay....so Princess Naivete of Awesomeville needs to get out of her happy bubble of innocence and accept the fact that shes a fuckin' hypocrite.
Here I am feeling bad for someone else's stupidity and there she is collecting crowns of wisdom in her Awesomeville.
You know what......everybody is an ass in some way or another. There are no exceptions. The only thing differentiating one from another is the percept. I clearly have had the wrong one.
I dont ever want to be involved in anything no matter what. Ever.
Just leave. Me. Be.
Take your gay ass fucks somewhere else.
Dont notice me. Dont talk to me. Dont ask for my opinion. And please dont [pretend to] worry about my feelings.

I cant do this right now. Have to work.

If only everyone I know would stand in a cue on my birthday and allow me to sab keh do to them. It wont be anything less than the experience of self actualization.

Thats whats wrong with the world.

There are three things in this world that I do not understand.
Mushrooms, Olives, and women. While the first two on the list are easy to ignore, the third remains in your face from the moment you're born to the moment you die.
They have issues and petty issues and lame issues which they take rather seriously. They're unpredictable and impossible to understand which is sad since 'being understood' is on top of their to-do list.
Hormonal imbalances along with not being understood makes them cranky which leads to great depression and much higher expectations which leads to a fucked up world.
Yes my friends, I just figured out whats wrong the world.
Its women - not global warming.

Subway wont receive my call=[

Why Im so full of shit...

I went to college today after a long time to collect my notes and books and syllabus. The not-so-long-lost hatred in me was excavated by these moronic ardent naive admirers of regular bullshit.

Skank : "OhmyGosh! that guy is sooooo cuute!"

Bitch : "no way hes ugly."

Skank : "yeah he looks a little sick but I love him.."

Space waster : "hehehehhehehe"

Skank : "Have you seen this movie [they were talking about 21]...these MIT students they like start gambling cuz theyre like so good at math.."

Bitch : "But... how..?"

Skank : "Theyre really good at math I mean c'mon theyre MIT students..."

Bitch : "What does MIT stand for..?"

Skank : "uh...I dont know..."

Space waster : "hehehehe"

Bitch : "You like edward cullins?"

Skank : "eeeeeweee...no waaye!"

....and just last year these brainless goo bags were all gaga over twilight.
And then you ask me why I dont socialize.
puff ponytails [or 'p-hugga' to quote mariam] bana kar they think themselves to be Tesla and Jolie ka offspring...stupid bitches!
Gawd I just wana slap their guts out!
Those idiot!
What the hell is wrong with our generation?
Absolutely no sense of anything. Second hand information per itna attitude! Like....dude....ugh...
whathufffff!!!!
arrrggghhhhhh!!!

Oh....by the way...heres a pic of a p-hugga:

After studying my ass off for SIXTEEN YEARS [excluding kindergarten], SIXTEEN years of carrying that heavy bag full of bricks called books on my delicate shoulders....SIXTEEN years of sheer torture..SIXTEEN years of being tanned....Tolerating crowds and those cheeky van drivers and stinky, immature, LOUD, Whiny, ungrateful, back stabbing, bossy, annoying, egoistic SHITHEADS for SIXTEEN years....Youre telling me I cant do what I want to do?
I dont want to do 'accounts'...its not my thing....anything to do with numbers is NOT my thing...I DONT do numbers I FUCKING HATE NUMBERS ALRIGHT!! I DONT FUCKING WANT TO DO BBA OR MBA OR ACCA OR WHATEVER OTHER SHIT THEY HAVE TO OFFER. AND I DONT WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER OR A FUCKING DOCTOR!!
AND I DONT FUCKING WANT TO BE A FUCKING FASHION DESIGNER IM NOT GAY YOU GAY FUCK. I DONT EVEN LIKE WEARING CLOTHES. AND I DONT LOVE I.T. I thought I did BUT I DONT!! AND I DONT WANT TO BE A FUCKING TEACHER I FUCKING HATE KIDS!!!

I want to be a criminal psychologist...or a cognitive psychologist...or a social psychologist or engineering psychologist...or Forensic psychologist...just...this is not fair.
There are absolutely NO good universities offering masters in psychology in Pakistan. AND I DONT FUCKING WANT TO LEAVE THIS SHIT HOLE I'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE!! Even if I get the job and they pay for it. I DONT WANT TO!!
Why dont we have a LUMS or IBA sort of place offering psychology? Fuck psychology...what about geography? Literature? Archaeology?
I dont want to go to Karachi University....:(
This is not fair.
This is not fair!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1220864/Whipped-wearing-deceptive-bra-Hardline-Islamists-Somalia-publicly-flog-women-sharia-crackdown.html

:'(

Eight long months of summer.

Dear fellow Human Beings,

If youre living in karachi youre probably aware of the fact that is fucking hot here. Hence, your body needs to cool down by sweating. When sweat combines with the bacteria on your skin it causes a smell. And not a very pleasant one I tell you. And its not your fault. I understand. I mean its a natural biological processes and you cant help it. However, bathing regularly and using antiperspirants or deodorants can help control the odor.
Why do you not take a shower everyday, I ask you? Do you have any idea how much pain it can cause the person sitting next to you? I mean first I tolerate this weather....this shit, pathetic, sick weather. Then I tolerate the crowd Im in....SO many human beings.....and I watch you make all those stupid idiotic conversations everyday with an equally (or more) stupid component of yours while you giggle away your life...and to top it off I have to breathe near you while you stink like a pig. [I deserve to go to heaven for tolerating all this] Its agonizing! Please bathe, my dear fellow bitch. Please do, everyday. Also change your clothes along with you undies - e v e r y d a y! Have mercy on me. Please. I go through enough already. Please!

With lots of hatred and condemnation,
Uzma.

Fb blues.

OH MY GAWD ITNI GAY PICS HOTI HAIN LARKON KI FB PER. Eeewwwww
hehehehehe.....I was just stalking profiles on fb *loser alert* [I usually dont...>_>]...so I was checking out pics and dude...like......I cant stop laughin. Like....Why?
WHY do guys take pictures of themselves? Fine take pics....no problem. But high angle pout pics? HELLOE? Are you gay? Acha theek hai. For fun. Alright. Youre taking those gay pics just to fool around. Okay. But. WHY do you have to upload them on fb and torture everyone in your friends list by posting it in the neewsfeed? Is it all done for humor? But its not funny. Its just plain Ugly. I mean I have to sleep at night man. Or is it....Like....do you find yourself very attractive? Are you like obsessed with yourself? Looks like you are. Do you play with yourself a lot? Yeah? Gay bitches.

Sorry Im being harsh but Vain guys are sO annoying:(

Like...Die. Vanity is NOT meant for dudes, dude!

Turn off. Major Turn Off. And I speak for most of the girls here. Take my word for it. If you think that weird pic you took of yourself wearing those cheap "Radhay Shaam" shades and that "Meera" pout with a "Snoop Dog" expression on your face sitting in a car with a dude just as gay will turn someone on. You should go kill yourself Instantly. Like Right Now. You need to Die.

How boring was YOUR eid?

What do you call a person who never gets tired of pretending, who's left brain keeps pointing towards a *bright future* and the right brain wont let go of shit done and most of the actions and conversations are executed by the spinal cord cuz the left brain and the right brain are too busy fucking each other..?

You call that person an Uzma!

I did french manicure. Only I dont have nails so I had to put on fake ones. And boy do they look fake! Need to take em off...too lazy...Im having trouble typing which is distracting my fucking brains. Thats not the point. The point is I hate everyone. I hate it when stupid chutiyas act like they know shit. Yes, I now say chutiya without feeling awkward. And I say it often. Thank you Sania and Amna. Thank you very much. And I hate it when fucking morons get intimidated by stupid chutiyas. And I hate it when a fucking moron shits on a smart ass because of some stupid chutiya which turns a smart ass in to a shit head. So basically there are four types of people in the world [according to me that is]. Which one are you?

I'm the self inflicted, mind detonator!

I want my ribs to burst open and I want a huge Monster to....[I would write to 'come out' but doesnt sound right]....emerge. Yes. Emerge. And [*activate ::mode urdu::*] phir who monster kha jae merey pas jo bhi ho usko. Phir wo monster sab ko kha jae. Phir wo monster sari imaraat [buildings n structures] tabah [destroy] kar dey. Phir wo swim kar key west jae aur udher bhi sab ko kha jae. Phir wo ek khalai jahaz [space ship] ijaad karay aur phir khala [space] mai jaa kar suraj kha jae. Phir har jaga andhera hojae aur wo anderey mai ...umm....[float karnay ko kia kehtey hain?] *ahem*float*ahem* karay. Aur phir khala mai ghum hojae. Phir wo bhook se mar jae.

:(

Extinction? Please?

Annoying Loag.

Okay so my msn pm is in Latin. It says "momento mori" which means "remember you shall die"
Now I cud've easily written the translation but I dint. I wrote it in a foreign language. Does that make me cool now? Does it? I mean.....ya know with all those annoying french and spanish phrases I see as pm's and fb status.....like....wtf? Write the damn translation man. Who the fuck are you kidding? Just cuz my pm is in Latin doesnt mean I speak Latin. The impression is just as fake as....as....Paris Hilton's breasts. Like....ugh....IT DOESNT MAKE YOU LOOK COOL!

Idiots.

Oh...an old friend called me yestrday. She had a baby girl...:\
It was...weird....
Anyway.

Guys....are....weird species. Not just guys in general. Guys in a serious relationship. What is it that makes them act like a total retard?
This dude my friend is dating....Theyre actually engaged to be married now. But. Hes like the biggest....uh....I cant think of a less disgusting word which comes closer to the meaning of a "ch..." no I dont wana type that...:$
But. Yes. He is one. Hes SO thick! Kuch samajh hi nai ata charye ko [no charya wasnt the word I meant to type earlier with the initials "ch.."]. He's...like....we're suposed to go for iftari today...and she took permission from him.....WHY does a girl have to take permission from the guy in the first place? What. The. Fuck? Its so frustrating!!!
So yeah he was cool with it and now....just 2 hours pehley hes telling her not to go cuz he got off from work. Again. What. The. Fuck?
Dil chata hai Acid dal doon us per. Selfish Idiot. And he's like much worse. I dint write down the whole thing so you may not be as disgusted as I am. But. Ugh. I really dont get it.