Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Aalo, Baingan, and Contempt

This was actually going to be an appreciation post about how much I love aalo and baingan and carrots and how all these vegetables are so under rated but then it dawned on me how I'm surrounded with insignificant, incompetent, and self-obsessed assholes, all living in their own little worlds where they are the righteous kings and queens and everyone else is either entirely good or entirely bad, with no shades of grey (myself included).

This very realization of insignificance has been keeping me from blogging, or speaking, or giving an opinion. But you know what. Fuck You. Not you in particular. Just in general, fuck you. I hate stuff and I need to express. This is the least harmful way of doing that with almost no consequences.

Here's a list of things that I hate (in random order).

1. Aalaa - the fuck does that even apply? It translates to "tool" in English. Are you talking about your fucking tool you fucking retard? What the fuck!

2. Level - kis cheez ka level? You, being a Pakistani, have none. To what exactly is the whatever the fuck in question being compared to anyway? There hasnt been anything even close to being "great" around here in quite some time so why dont you just calm the fuck down and not go all jury of oscars on everyone.

3. Epic - its not. Not much is. Stop exaggerating. Its not going to make up for your mediocrity.

4. Soch hai apki - Is that a question? Is that an answer to a question? Its neither. Its just a plain statement. A random, stupid statement made by people with questionable intelligence who use it when they run out of equally lame things to say.

5.The Batman Lot - Now I have nothing against batman. I dont love it I dont hate and I dont know every single detail about it. All I know is from the movies that I've seen after a lot of persuasion. So when you ask me about batman and get nothing more than a "meh", please dont think its me questioning your knowledge about batman or mistake it for a signal to rant about how awesome it is and I dont have the right to like Jack Napier. You're not the creator. Nor are you a person of superior intelligence who has presented personal work or critique which has been regarded by professionals. So your opinion is as good as mine. You say I dont know batman? I say batman is not real. Go cry bitch.

6. Fan followers of TV shows - No, I dont want to watch that show. Fuck off.

7. The I-know-more-about-that-thing-than-you-do Lot - They are just incapable of having a conversation without whoring about how they know a certain fact about the topic being discussed. And god forbid if you mention the fact before that person. They will dedicate their whole life to prove that they knew it before you told them. Fixated on the need to prove they "know stuff about stuff". I think anyone here who acquires even a little knowledge develops that need. Knowledge is so fucking rare, that once you get your hands on it, you
just dont want to let it go.

8. Pseudo-Superiors - all you need is (i.) an opinion, (ii.) no achievements, and (iii.) a big mouth. Knowing how to speak in English fluently is a plus.

9. Genuine Inferiors - I dont know why do they even bother coming out of their rooms. Oh wait, who else will perform the duties of a mob (both virtual and real)?

10. Facebook page owners with more than 1000 likes - because after 1000, they take on the role of gods, passing judgments, telling right from wrong - them being right and others being wrong actually, spending all day trying to come up with a witty and funny post, failing everyday, etc.

11. When someone refers to a person with their initials instead of their name - Hey DI, hi CK, did you speak to HE? No AD came. F.U.C.K Y.O.U R.E.T.A.R.D.

12. People who go around commenting on things that they find offensive and demanding for its removal - sure, because if its making you feel not good for an entire 2 seconds that you look at it, the world must do everything in its power to prevent those 2 seconds of discomfort. Of course. Makes perfect sense.

13. Argo - that movie pissed me off. But I've bitched about that already.

alright this is getting boring.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


So I know I'm a wee bit late but at least I'm here.
I kind of got busy and then I lost interest in interpreting and then I checked my email and I had a couple of requests for interpretation and being the generous person I am. Yea okay down to business.

Firstly, all the drawings sucked ass!
Now I wasnt expecting portraits but stick figures? Seriously? If youre not going to put any effort in the drawings why should I make an effort to interpret them? Thats just not cool. Clearly I'm dealing with a lazy lot. I dint get a SINGLE proper human figure which is like the main, most important feature of HTP. I had to completely rule that out and the following interpretation is based solely on the drawings of Tree and House. Also, they were supposed to be drawn separately on a piece of paper with a pencil. Not a crapy paint portrait with everything merged together. You guys couldn't spare three papers? Really? -.-

The interpretation is probably not valid because all the drawings were made in a hurry and very carelessly which kind of fucks up the validity. But its your fault so yea.

Quarter to Insane

Hello person. You've waited a long time haven't you?
So I'm not completely sure about this but you seem to have poor interpersonal relationships and a very guarded personality. Tend to get defensive easily. By interpersonal I mean mean your siblings (if you have any). You're not as close to them as you would like to be. Also, the house was very poorly drawn and I dint understand what was going on with the lines which is kind of sad because I could have given a better interpretation of your close relationships. You're very likely to have double standards in terms of rules because they may not be the same for others. You know, "it's justified if I'm doing it it because I have a reason but others done" attitude. You also seem to have tight boundaries at home. As in you dont feel "free" to do anything you want. You're "confined" in certain matters of life. Some feelings of insecurity are also there. Also you ahve like a black and white thinking in the sense that you seem to rule out the shades of gray in people and situations in general. For you its either good or bad, no middle ground. May be you could work on that. It's something I have too. You're also a little obsessive as in you easily get obsessed with things and you may hold on to things for much longer than you should. On a brighter note, you have a positive outlook on life, which is always good. You also have the tendency to get addicted (smoking? drinking?).


Hello Me, you remind me of a very sweet friend of mine. Well, you dint give me much to interpret (I think you know why). You seem to have a very confused thinking, you're not yet sure of what/where you want to be in life (may trouble making decisions?). Also a very guarded and defensive personality. Have siblings? Get along with them? Drawings say you dont x.x but its alright, not many of us do. You kind of want to express yourself emotionally a home, as in give affection but you seem to be lacking the...um outlet of doing so. As in you're having trouble expressing your ideas and emotions. Not only are you having trouble expressing it, you're also having trouble getting warmth and affection (Hugs?). Also you're a bit disturbed in the head and lack the feeling of being grounded (or the feeling of belongingness perhaps?). Well...I'm assuming youre still 20 or younger so your personality is still developing. Hang in there sunshine.

Khadeeja Z. (the drawing that wasn't colored)

The stick figure is really cute. Im tempted to not write anything else (because I hate it when people send me stick figures) but I like the "shrink in the making" bit you mentioned in the email. So now I have to give an interpretation (because I secretly like being thought of as a shrink, because they're like doctors, and I want to be one). Anyway. The drawings were quite similar to "the Me's" stuff. Guarded and defensive personality, not very good interpersonal relationships. You also feel the need to express your ideas and feelings, especially at home, but you're lacking means of doing so. Strict boundaries at home may be? You also need someone to shower you with warmth and affection. Now the interesting bit. Do you have two faces? I dont mean in the bitchy sense, as in, you know like one personality for the world and another one just for yourself. Though you seem to have confused thinking, you have some very strong ideas and an overall positive outlook on life. Kind of resilient which is very healthy. You also have an obsessive personality. Do you have this need to do certain things a certain way or may be give al attention to one particular thing or idea? Yeah...I suggest you gain control over it. Dont get carried away with stuff. Also some sexual anxiety seems to be there. Disturbed thinking. And this is not part of the result but I'm sensing some creativity in you so you should be fine.

Now for the colored drawing.

First of all...LOL.
It was a very cute one...seriously. Loved the cloud eating the house. And that girl on the bench...but this doesnt make the stick figure any less...stick figure-y -.-
So yea...somewhat defensive. You have the need for warmth and the need to attract people to yourself. Not necessarily the opposite gender but speaking in general, you dont mind attention. You seem a bit depressed and get anxious easily. I dont know how to put it but...um..sex sex want want? Lol...kidding. No. I meant it. You may not be aware of this but you kinds of want to have some sort of sexual contact. Which is fiine...we all do at some point in our lives. You just happened to make this drawing at some point. It probably is gone by now. Dont sweat it. I totally wanted sexual contact yesterday. Haha. I dint. I'm just saying that so your friend wont make fun of you. But in case she/he does, you can totally retort on how she/he has sexual anxiety. Generally speaking, you're satisfied with your family life, no such issues there. Also you appear to have a nice, happy personality and overall good interpersonal relationships (except for siblings, may be some trouble there). You also have like a black and white and confused thinking (see Quarter to Insane). Other than that, you ahve teh desire to be independent and also have strong thinking. So...yeah. Thats it.

IF YOU GUYS have read this I would like to know how accurate the interpretation was. Do leave a comment. Goodbye.