Sunday, February 12, 2012

I just like to call you my bitch.

Its 1:25 am and I have to wake up at 6:30 and get ready for school. Im off to a bad start of the week. But all that doesnt matter because OMG WE ARE FINALLY STUDYING PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING AND MENTAL HEALTH AND PSYCHOPATHOLOGY!!
I've waited three years to study that shit in detail.
And I've gone out of my way to teach myself testing...TAT being an example.

I finally own a DSM and will be using it to diagnose real people OFFICIALLY!
No more amateur analysis of normal people trying to be crazy. I never really got why everyone wanted me to label them "crazy", "weird" and/or "psychotic". Its not cool being any of that. Not when you know what these terms actually represent.

Anyway. I feel like a doctor.
I feel like Indiana Jones ._.

Oh my love, my darling
I've hungered for you touch,
a long, lonely time
and time goes by so slowly.
But not quite.

I found my new...subject.
I dont know how long this has been going on, but I always have had a "subject" in my life that I find amusing. It can be the most random person that I see and find something wrong with them. And then I spend the next couple of months building rapport and finding out whats wrong with them. I cant rest until that person has opened up completely. So far, Ive been successful in all my ventures. Once the person opens up, I may or may not help, depending on the situation. And we end up becoming pretty good friends, unless it an interesting male participant, in which case I end up having a week long fling, lolj/k. No but seriously.
So my new subject is actually a friends friend. My doubts were correct about him having a sort of manic depressive disorder. He is currently seeing a therapist, but for the next three weeks they will probably be doing the intake session. Anyway. I have to befriend him, which shouldnt be that difficult because we have mutual friends. How fucking messed up is this? I probably do this to feel good about myself and feel I have some kind of control on my actions. Heh. Imadoctah! ^^

Saturday, February 4, 2012


I was just thinking about my friends because I feel like talking. But every time I want to do that I have to first go through this time consuming [brain time not human time] process of deciding whom to talk to. And I just realized that I actually pick the category of friends and then pick a friend from that category. My friends can be divided into the following categories o.O

Shaadi Friends - Well, this one has quite a few members. These friends are the ones I have spent a lot of time with and they're more like casual fun friends. Recently married, I mostly find myself avoiding communication with them because they no longer have topics that interest me. They're either convincing me to get married or telling me about how cute/awesome/adorable their husband is. And if they're feeling too excited, they throw in information about their sex life, which can be very awkward. I usually just sit and smile and nod and may be throw in a one liner or something.

Nerd Dost - These are the friends I actually enjoy talking to. They're not necessarily good students but have a lot of knowledge and I always end up learning something new. I love interacting with them and actually communicate. You give opinions and speak up. But these conversations involve no feelings or emotions. Such topics are purposely ignored so when Im emo I cant go to them.

Geek Dost - Yes, theres a difference between a geek and a nerd. This circle of friends include people crazy about comics, games, action figures, documentaries, and fancy music. I dont have much to contribute with them because Im not in to any of these but I find their insane fascination with all these pointless fictitious things somewhat amusing. They speak of emotions as they are explained in comics and often express themselves using lines from Lord of the Rings or some other Japanese/Korean thing. I mostly dont understand what theyre talking about but its fun making fun of their obsessions.

Stupid Friends Who Think They're Smart - We all have those. Im just friends with these because they're good people and quite helpful when needed. If only they could cut down on talking and stop asking me stupid questions as if it were a technical one. Try hard to insult the other person but the bad grammar wont let them. But they're good people. Deep, deep down inside. Also a bit vain. But we all are.

The Average Clan - These people dont excel in anything. They're not geeks or nerds or married or that stupid. Average intelligence....only like things to an extent and havent yet discovered their object/field of interest. They're going with the flow trying to figure things out. Make good conversational partners but lack ambition which makes them boring after a while. I guess I too fall in this category. Because I bore myself.

I think I need more friends.

Friday, February 3, 2012


You know what sucks more than the political situation of Canada?
The multi-disciplinary teams and communication networks involved in prescribing, supplying and administering medicines. When am I gona come to my good senses? My back hurts because Ive been working since 2 pm. Its 12:36 now. IM NOT A MACHINE MAA OH MAH GAWD GIMME A BREAK. I tend to over do things at times. Be a bit dramatic just to stir things up. It kind of backfires when the other person starts taking me seriously and then I have to continue the dramatic routine because not doing so would make the other person really really angry and hostile. My spider senses telling me spider man is near by and my plan is to get him next and open up a can of pineapples, godammit Dre where is the goddamn beat? yea. Anyway, I dont know how else to put it. This is the only thing Im good at. Writing. More like typing. I can type and make stupid things sound like they make sense and then provide fake references to make it sound more logical and authentic. I say you all are just too goddamn sensitive.

Canada and Dubai are so boring. Just like the Medicine Legislation of 1989. You find me offensive? I find you offensive, shit. This is the same verse I just did. If you put your cold finger tips on a hot hot metal rod, it would hurt really really bad. Your skin will probably get stuck and as you pull, half your flesh will stay on the rod and go tsssssssss. It might smell pretty good. Like thin fried strips of juicy meat.
Id eat that ._.
Trust I seek, and I find in you, none. But none of that matters u___u

Round # 1

Their Argument: "Larka itna acha hai, achi pay hai, MBA kia hai, ghar mai itney loag bhi nai hain, cook hai, maids hain, kuch bhi nai karna parey ga, valid aur chacha [pata nai which grade] ke officers thay, parhi likhi family hai, soch to lo ek dafa"

My Argument: "Mujhe parhna hai"

Their Argument: "Parhai to hoti rahey gi...unho ne khud bola hai ke jitna parhna hai parlo shaadi ke bad kisi ko koi issue nai hai"

My Argument: "Im a lesbian"

Mum: "Kia lesbian?"

Me: "Female gay. Mujhe larkia pasand hain"

*Head Slap*

Mum: "Khuda ka khauf karo Uzma!"


Them = 1
Me = 0

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


You know what sucks about being a girl in this region of the world?
From education to going out to liking someone to crossing 20's without getting married.
Mutlab...pura mulk shaadi karne mai laga hua hai.
Shaadi on morning shows.
Shaadi on cooking shows.
Shaadi in dramas.
Our lives revolve around being married and getting others married.
No wonder we haven't progressed as a nation. We focus too much on reproduction and partners to reproduce with.

I turned 23 yesterday.
Fuck this Im not even going try to make this sound interesting.

I hate shaadi.
I hate family.
I hate collectivism.
I hate paranoid worried mothers.
I hate aunts and uncles who believe it to be their moral duty to get everyone in the extended family married.
I hate being a girl.
I hate it when the mummy and the baby visit people to see gUrLx for the baby.
One such baby visited me the other day.
Mummy ne larki dikhai.
Baby ne pasand karli.
Without even having a conversation.
Ab baby shaadi bhi karlega.
With mummy's consent, of course.
I feel like a bakri.

A long month of emotional blackmail, long pointless dramatic conversations, and rebellion awaits me.
Because getting married at the right time is above all.
If I dont post within a month, know that I cut myself and bled to death.