Monday, September 28, 2009

Fb blues.

hehehehehe.....I was just stalking profiles on fb *loser alert* [I usually dont...>_>] I was checking out pics and cant stop laughin. Like....Why?
WHY do guys take pictures of themselves? Fine take problem. But high angle pout pics? HELLOE? Are you gay? Acha theek hai. For fun. Alright. Youre taking those gay pics just to fool around. Okay. But. WHY do you have to upload them on fb and torture everyone in your friends list by posting it in the neewsfeed? Is it all done for humor? But its not funny. Its just plain Ugly. I mean I have to sleep at night man. Or is you find yourself very attractive? Are you like obsessed with yourself? Looks like you are. Do you play with yourself a lot? Yeah? Gay bitches.

Sorry Im being harsh but Vain guys are sO annoying:(

Like...Die. Vanity is NOT meant for dudes, dude!

Turn off. Major Turn Off. And I speak for most of the girls here. Take my word for it. If you think that weird pic you took of yourself wearing those cheap "Radhay Shaam" shades and that "Meera" pout with a "Snoop Dog" expression on your face sitting in a car with a dude just as gay will turn someone on. You should go kill yourself Instantly. Like Right Now. You need to Die.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Anthony Hopkins - In love with him. Yet again.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Lameness ki Inteha.

Its 3 a.m. Ive been online for 5 hours straight. Have to make my psychology assignment on attitudes and God knows what THAT is all about. I mean given by semen so...ya know...the question is pretty confusing but anyway doesnt matter. I'll just google keywords and copy the first thing which shows.....I prefer not putting in any effort when it comes to her work. Why am I blogging? I dont know. Or I dont I want to acknowledge. Or something like that. I dont get guys. They're gay. Yes they are. Like whatever guys. No Im not a sexist....Im just stating facts ayte? They one confused species....or they just pretend to be confused for whatever reason. Im hating them all...Rida can I name a few? Pwease? I....umm....just....whatever.
Ali Hamza has a sexy voice...:\
I never noticed.

And. I wanted to brag about all the compliments I get but mood is a lil bleh. And YES Im thinking about you bitch text me in the morning when you done crying...:p
Holy fuck I just slided my mouse on water....ugh...ugh....wait...its still working...:\
Anyway...Im going to watch District Nine....Im expecting it to suck ass.
Will exceed my expectations?
Will I watch the whole shit?
Will my brother pause the movie to talk on the phone and piss the shit out of me like he does?
Will Rida find happiness?
Will I make my assignment?
Will mariams tummy be fine by tomorrow?
Why am I asking you all these question?

Glorious food.

Ladies and Gentlemen.....I present to you the bestest pasta EVER to be made on the face of this earth.....

This thing you Heavenly. And mariam made it. My Dost can cook....*tears*
Which reminds me of nandos cataplana I tried ryte after this Divine food. Know I had never tried it before.....I mean always end up having espetada or those wraps or something....but then everyone kept telling to have cataplana cuz its like oh-so-awesome....well...eveyrone who tasted it....needs to grow taste buds. It was the worst most pathetic thing Ive ever tasted. Please if someone asks you to try it tell that person to eff off [eff cuz I got company].
So, yeah....okay...the most absurd thing was the cucumber which tasted like something picked out from a turd salad. Ew. Yes.
Bleh. Im not wasting my time writing how bad it was.
It was bad - period!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

How boring was YOUR eid?

What do you call a person who never gets tired of pretending, who's left brain keeps pointing towards a *bright future* and the right brain wont let go of shit done and most of the actions and conversations are executed by the spinal cord cuz the left brain and the right brain are too busy fucking each other..?

You call that person an Uzma!

I did french manicure. Only I dont have nails so I had to put on fake ones. And boy do they look fake! Need to take em off...too lazy...Im having trouble typing which is distracting my fucking brains. Thats not the point. The point is I hate everyone. I hate it when stupid chutiyas act like they know shit. Yes, I now say chutiya without feeling awkward. And I say it often. Thank you Sania and Amna. Thank you very much. And I hate it when fucking morons get intimidated by stupid chutiyas. And I hate it when a fucking moron shits on a smart ass because of some stupid chutiya which turns a smart ass in to a shit head. So basically there are four types of people in the world [according to me that is]. Which one are you?

I'm the self inflicted, mind detonator!

I want my ribs to burst open and I want a huge Monster to....[I would write to 'come out' but doesnt sound right]....emerge. Yes. Emerge. And [*activate ::mode urdu::*] phir who monster kha jae merey pas jo bhi ho usko. Phir wo monster sab ko kha jae. Phir wo monster sari imaraat [buildings n structures] tabah [destroy] kar dey. Phir wo swim kar key west jae aur udher bhi sab ko kha jae. Phir wo ek khalai jahaz [space ship] ijaad karay aur phir khala [space] mai jaa kar suraj kha jae. Phir har jaga andhera hojae aur wo anderey mai ...umm....[float karnay ko kia kehtey hain?] *ahem*float*ahem* karay. Aur phir khala mai ghum hojae. Phir wo bhook se mar jae.


Extinction? Please?

Monday, September 21, 2009

It doesnt taste as good as it looks....
And it took me 2 hours to get it done...>_>

Friday, September 18, 2009

Zardari ka interview ara hai.....ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!


Thursday, September 17, 2009

My wrist is thin....Im not too proud of it.


Light light refreasing....karshi jaam-e-sheereee.....Ye natural hai...*ting ting*
Ting ting part was tang I think...umm..anyway.

I was just reading the most notorious psychopaths in history and Pedro Lopez was nowhere to be found. All respect to Albert Fish and Ted Bundy.....But you cant miss out Lopez...he like killed 300 people.....more probably...Ugh. He was a psychopath....and he deserves to be on that list....I mean...they have John Haigh in the list and not Lopez...whatever man...>_>
Im Not satisfied!

I have a thing for Lopez. I feel sorry for him. I somehow want to justify his actions. Cuz of his history. Everyone starts from when he was kicked out of his house by his mother for fondling his younger sister. But...he dint just wake up one day and decided to touch his sister....His mother was a prostitute and brought her customers home...and he saw all that.....he used to wet his bed and was insulted in front of everyone almost everyday....It doesnt sound much but for a kid its had a fucked up childhood...blegh.
I dont expect anyone to understand since he raped n killed more than 300 girls....but...blegh!

I also have a thing for Peter Kurten. I mean...sides the fucked up history. He was kinda cool. He was a true serial killer. Not very attractive though...but he was cool. Just check out his last words "After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasure."
Sadism in its purest form!
Do I sound sick? Im not. I dont agree with the killings...but....they were kinda misunderstood. The REAL emo! Yeah. Not the stupid fake teens with self created stupid issues and newly grown organs. No. They had the real shit going on. They were different. Dig? Whatever. Im in no mood to justify anything ryte now.

Anyway, every time I look at my wrist, Im tempted. The veins are so visible. My skin on palm n wrist is really thin. The ones carrying deoxygenated blood. Like so there. So I just stare at them and wonder....stuff. I'd like to poke my wrist with a poke poke poke....destroy the whole thing....and keep poking....till a bit of flesh comes out with the needle.
Do I sound sick?
Im not. This is just...bleh.
Im cool.
Yeah. I would never actually do any of this shit. harm thinking, right?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Dont you miss those days when you could roam around wearing just a T-shirt, socks and undies without being questioned...?

I do.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ayte so I was wearing this really short yellow kurta sort shirt on a green shalwaar ryte....looking extremely ridiculous my mum goes all...."Uzma ye wali shirt bohat short hai shalwaar per nahi pehna karo...ab aap bari hogai ho...acha nai lagta!".....So I was all "ugh...fine."
So I was just diggin through my closet [which is a huge mess] and I found these super hot low waste jeans I bought last year [or the year before, cant recall] so I put em on and they like fit me really I was all "wow...these look hot...I wonder why I dont wear it"....and then I walk out of the room with that *Oh-Am-Tha-sO-SeXaY* look on my face.....and my mum sees me and she goes all " agai aapko theek?" and Im all "...umm...yea.." and shes all "ye tou lose thi na apko"....and THEN I remember the shit.
Levis people had this sale last year and I saw these pants and I was gettin the 5000 ka thing in 2000 but the thing was like two sizes bigger than my size and I had this whole argument with my um who wasnt buying it for me cuz it wasnt my size but being the annoying bych that I am I just HAD to buy it. Im sorry I sound like a self obsessed stupid spoiled whore but DUDE....Ive gone up TWO sizes! Its worse than I thought. I thought I just gained a pound or something....but Ive gone up TWO WHOLE DAMN SIZES - NOT COOL!!


No more goodies for you Miss!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Urooj says:
v r grown up now
isnt it?

uzma says:

Urooj says:
i was just looking at our pics
we used to be so stupid before..

uzma says:
i know
like so aloof..
now we all so practical and boring

Urooj says:
though v are good looking now

uzma says:
we sure are..

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Animal farm...:\

If a guy says :

* What you wearing [babe/pumpkin/baby] - YOU got a Pig!

* Text me late at nyte if you cant sleep...Im usually up - YOU got a Pig!

* JUST came out of the shower eh..? - YOU got a Pig!

* I just LOVE peaches/buns - YOU got a Pig!

* Ajj roza kiu nahi rakha....? [Usually followed by a fucked up grin] - YOU got a Pig - The worst kind!

I wanted to blog about pigs and sows like a really shitty one....but then I changed my mind. But now I changed my mind again....Just....see...All men are pigs and some girls are sows. Now now...nothing personal guys....Just cuz youre a pig doesnt mean youre a bad pig you can be a cute one too......there are kinds ya know...But this one particular kind annoys me the most...They pretend to be all....err....*insert the name of the most innocent animal here*...Theyre[excuse my lack of expression]...

Okay Im done.



Ive been tryna publish this post for 3 days....and something always happens....and now that I finally tried to publish it disappeared...I dont know what was cursed. I'll try to reproduce it but it just wont be the same cuz Im in a completely different mindset ryte now. Here it is...:

".....(some random bullshit abt me hating vain people and being one of them myself)....And what really pisses em off is that people refuse to deliver lunch during if I wana have pizza for lunch today? What am i supposed to do? Wait for dinner? What if i dont want it for dinner? What about people who dont fast? What about the minority? What about me? Like....places are not closed down before Easter are they? Why no special timings for them? Are they not human? Is our religion holier than theirs because we're the majority? We see the white in our flag now dont we? What does that represent? Shudnt rules be equal for all of us no matter what religion? Yeah? Equality? No? We're better than them? Is that what its all about? Yeah?

Now dont be going all "oh you're just saying that cuz you wana have a nice dont even fast"...If I dont fast that My shit with My God. Its none of your business. Im not answerable to you or that Holy Mullah of yours you go to for advice. Youre NOT answerable for my sins. You wont get punished cuz I dont fast. Okay? We clear on that? Yeah? Okay.
So just like you wont get punished cuz I dont fast...I wont get blessing if you fast. Yeah? So....if youre fasting its not making a difference in my life. Theek? Youre not doing me a favor. And since youre not doing me a favor I shouldnt be forced to take your shit. You can keep your "Im fasting so Im gona act like a cranky bitch all day" shit to your own damned holy self! Ehsaan nahi kara/kiya [:p] aapne mujh per roza rakh kar!..."

And there was more but Im in like No mood. This is incomplete...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

ME : "Imma bee fly n shit....Imma be the fly-est shit!!"

Rida : "wheeee wheeeee wheeee youre a shittyy birdieeeee.."

you bring a new meaning to my life...:p

Im forced to consume 2 rupay walay snacks everyday of my life.

Ya know sometimes youre just sitting and not doing anything and then suddenly you get this pathetic idea to do something and you KNOW it s a BAD idea and you know its going to be a complete disaster but for reasons unknown you carry the plan out anyway....And you dont even have to...not like any ones forcing you. You HAVE a choice of not doing it but you just do it anyway....? Yeah?
Thats what happened to me today.
See the fucked up rice on the right...with a fucked up peice of chicken [which was the only thing eatable on the plate] and potatoes and the greens you dont recognize? Yes, Im the inventor!

A complete mess! And I knew it was gona be bad. I knew it all along. But I did it anyway. I do that a lot. And it was like BAD man. It was so bad it should be on the menu at PC. In fact it should be on the menu of every Japanese restaurant in the world. It was so qualifies to be a Canadian dish! Now no offence Japanese and Canadian food lovers....just that it really sucked. I shouldnt be allowed to cook anymore. I dont think I can ever make anything as bad as this. This is like the worst I can do. Like me at my WORST. Oh and Ive come with a name for it too....Imma call it 'Bow Chow'.....know why? Cuz it makes you wanaa bow chow. Yep. Disaster in its true essence.

Pissed me off like really bad...So much that I actually decided to punish myself by studying. I opened my bag and guess what I found? REAL chips! Know those burned potato peal wrapped in the cheapest blue wrapper? I bought 'em the other but dint eat....I buy a lot of stuff at college and dont eat....cuz I dont like them but I dont have a choice so I just buy whatever is available and try to shove it down my throat. But after bow chow they tasted better than a pepper cheese steak. Tho they were all burned...and had a weird ash like taste to it...

After that I thought Id open my book but then I saw my bag and Im like "wOw perk...Awesome!" so I had perk and I was just shoving the wrapper back in my bag when I realised how fucked up my bag is. I mean there are absolutely NO books in it . Like NONE. I keep them in my locker. So my bag is like full of wrappers and used tissues n crap like that. Oh and a pen too...So I like took a pic cuz I, for some reason, am obsessed with taking pics and putting em up on my I took the pics and Im like...DUDE I have to upload them NOW cuz then i'll forget whats on my Im all 'B-R-B abnormal Psychology' and here I am blogging.


I seriously need a life.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

*/mode `passive` activated/*

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


So I was in a full psychosocial mood ryte [all you hardcore metal heads - Im not a hardcore metal head so please dont be flaunting all that fancy ass shit you listen to]...okay yeah so i was listnin to this one and then mariam sent me this marathi+hindi+gujrati thingie "suu chhee" and I listened to it and I was all...:\
And I had so much in my mind and now Im like blank...


You can read more about the song here

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Pink looks good on me....and black....and bottle green.....but thats irrelevant. I skipped college today yet again. Sigh. I just cant say no to sleep. My toothpaste is all fucked up. Someone (most probably my brother) filled it with water so its all liquid-e. Every time I go to brush my teeth I suffer. But then going all the way from my bathroom to the kitchen just to get the toothpaste seems like a long journey. So I just keep struggling with the annoying liquid thing. But thats not the point. I dint go to college and I dont have a valid reason. I did wake up at 6:45 and hit the snooze button. Then again my alarm tried waking me up at 7:00 and I again snoozed, this time hoping the damn thing wont ring again. But turns out I usually set 3 alarms. So it again tried waking me up at 7:15 and this time I had second thoughts. But then I realized that I hadn't ironed last night and I hate ironing in the morning. So. Yeah thats my story.

So I was saying rust really suits me. It brings out my eyes like "pop"....but thats really not the point. The point is, Im going to study today and not waste yet another day playing farmville and eating and switching channels. Im going to get the damn chapter done. And "Abnormal psychology" is interesting anyway so it shouldn't be hard.
Okay mums calling for breakfast. No Im not fasting. No I dont have a 'girly biological' problem going on for not fasting. I just dont fast. I dont like starving. Makes me feel helpless. I dont like that feeling. Or any other feeling which makes my autonomic nervous system respond. Okay. Im gona go eat and then study. Thats THAT.

Monday, September 7, 2009

....Im a creep....Im a weirdOo oe oe...

Going to study now. Seriously.

Also, I give awful hugs. Hug? Anyone?

I feel...I feel like putting a drill through the side of my head and tilt it and let the brain leak out of my head and then taking out my eyeballs and putting them in a jar full of cold water and then freezing my eyes. Need sleep. Tired. No. Study:@
Nahin Uzma stupid. STUPID!
But I was jus....CHUP KARO TUM! Stupid. Bohat dimag chalta hai tumhara:@
Fool! Perhna nai hai kia? Wana end up like her? Like them? Stupid aurat. Retard. BUS KARDO AB! How much time do you need?
But I dint...NAI BUS KARO!! Chor dou apni bachkana harkatain. Stupid baatain. Pagal. Stop it. Thats NOT you!
Now stop acting like a fool. Good girl. We're gona study abnormal psychology today and do that critical appreciation and play farmville. Alryte? Now come on, chin up. Every things gona be just fine.

Society per mazmoon.

Hum sab ek crowd hain. Sab ek dosray ko follow karain hain. Ek bara sa brainless herd hain.
Is herd main koi bhi satisfied nai hai. Herd mai jab loag groups mai divide hojatey hain tou unko people boltey hain. Jab saray groups bannay kai bad ek banda isolate hojata tou saray groups unite ho kar ek bara sa group ban jatay hain. Us group ko society kehtey hain. Society bohat stupid hoti hai, therefore, bohat suck karti hai. Mujhey society nahi pasand. I am a part of society.
This society does not deserve me.
I do not deserve this society.
Extinction per koi 'ghaur' kiu nahi karta?
Mujhey urdu bohat pasand hai. Urdu bohat cool sound karti hai. Main random nahi hoon. Mai intentionally topic change karai hoon. Mai bohat ajeeb feel karai hoon. Im SO close to doing something really stupid and making a complete fool out of myself. But I wont. I know better. And that has always been my problem. I know better.
I spy.






How do I fix me?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

uzma says:

fifa says:

uzma says:
im bored.

fifa says:
im in pain
and bored

uzma says:
you win

fifa says:
lol okay
wat up with u
u never let me win

uzma says: just trying to be a better person.
you see.

fifa says:
yeah rite
besides dat
wats the real problem

uzma says:
why do you assume theres a problem?
Im trying to be a better person and thats it.

fifa says:

uzma says:
you dont believ me.

fifa says:
okay i beleive u

uzma says:

fifa says:
did u talk to ******

uzma says:
abt ** *******?

fifa says:
u feeling guilty

uzma says:

I let people win when I feel guilty:\

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I was supposed to complete my psychology shit by the end of June.
Bohat hogaya.
Main parhney jarai hoon.
Its 2.43 a.m.
I dont care.
Im going.
Itterupt me. Anyone. Please do.
I jus noticed how fucked up the coriander is in the soup in the last image.


*beep* ::error loading:: *beep*

Yes. I just cant seem to get out of my holiday mode. I just went to college ONCE this week. I just cant wake up. Forget college thats like 7 in the morning. My IT starts 1:30 p.m....I've been missing those too cuz I cant wake up. Just attended ONE class this week. Ugh.
Itna soti hoon mai. Bohat soti hoon. Soti rehti hoon. Actually, no, I hibernate. So today I was actually frustrated cuz I missed coleg. And Im like....DAMN Ive been sleeping for a week. Im never lame for a whole week straight. I mean....I did like NOTHING this week. Just slept and played farmville. Yep. Im addicted. And just this Sunday I was preaching how lame the stupid game is to my baby cousin who's been playing it. But nevermind that.
So today I wanted to do something productive. I thought I'd make notes but then I was all....yeah like THATS gona happen. So I was karoon yaar? And then my mum was all "uzma soup peenay ka dil chara hai" and I was all "main banati hoon" and my mum was all "mazaak nai karo mera seriously mood hai soup ka" and Im all "Im serious.. :O"
So I tried that thing I had in mind since june. Damn I procratinate..:
Its this thing I came up with in my head while I was watchin some dude make tomatoe soup. So I like took pics of each step.
THATS RIGHT. Im gona upload every single image!
I dint come up with a name for it yet.
Its like tomato soup + chicken soup + green soup.
Alryte. So jus slice half n onion, spring onion and one capsicum. And boil tomatoes n peel n blend them.
Make chicken stock and strain it.
Then fry onions in 2 tbs oil and then add all the greens and black pepper n salt n oregano.
Then add stock and tomato thingie and let it simmer for like ten I guess.

Then fry the chicken bits in butter and pepper and add em to the soup.

Then add corn flour to the soup and cook for another 5 minutes.
And voila. Its ready. This is what it looks like in the end.

I know it looks pretty all ryte and mum loved and and my mami really liked it but honestly, it tasted pretty average to me. Its not at all what I had in mind and I cudnt get over the fact that it was missing something. I dont know what. Maybe. No. The seasoning was perfect. Pata nai.

Im not satisfied.

Damn I have time..:\

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Ive been emotionaly blackmailed for this one.

*Uzma says:
I dnt have nun to wear.
I'll come naked.

*Amna says:
Haan theek hai.
Phir baba turn on hojain gai.

Amna's "baba" = my phupa

My cousins say that I dont write about them on my blog. And have spent too much time to not mention them on my blog. No Im not going to discuss amnas accent. No she doesnt have a funny accent. See amna I dint say shit about that funny accent you practicing. Im still confused if you were kidding or serious. Dont whine Hajira Im writing about you too...:p
I doubt if anyones gona read this post cuz ya know....Its kinda like...a wee bit lame. Just dump that pedo you dating. And Amna please stick with one man. Karma is a bitch. Now now I know you dint get that I'll explain when we meet:p I love my cousins oh so much and oh how would I ever live without them like oh my God I love you guys. You people are the funniest cousins anyone can have. Ab baat ho hi rai hain tou teejs and ayesha ko bhi mention kerdety hoon...
I dont think they read it but let ayesha know she gives the bestest hugs and teejs is like the hottest wittiest 16 year old:p

So if anyone inetrested in dating heres a bit info...


Age : 18
Height : mujh se tall hai. Im 5'5 she must be 5'6 or 5'7.
Complexion : weatish
Body : very trimmed and in shape.
Hair : Black
Best feature : eyes
Status : Dating a pedo. Will dump for a hotter dude.
Overall : Pretty hot.


Age : 20
Height : 5'8 I think.
Complexion : fair when washes face.
Body : In shape when wearing clothes.
Hair : Black
Best feature : smile
Status : Dating an idiot and an uncle. Flirts with a family friend. Still room for more.
Overall : Attractive.

Leave a comment if interested.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Annoying Loag.

Okay so my msn pm is in Latin. It says "momento mori" which means "remember you shall die"
Now I cud've easily written the translation but I dint. I wrote it in a foreign language. Does that make me cool now? Does it? I mean.....ya know with all those annoying french and spanish phrases I see as pm's and fb Write the damn translation man. Who the fuck are you kidding? Just cuz my pm is in Latin doesnt mean I speak Latin. The impression is just as fake Hilton's breasts. Like....ugh....IT DOESNT MAKE YOU LOOK COOL!

Idiots. old friend called me yestrday. She had a baby girl...:\
It was...weird....

Guys....are....weird species. Not just guys in general. Guys in a serious relationship. What is it that makes them act like a total retard?
This dude my friend is dating....Theyre actually engaged to be married now. But. Hes like the biggest....uh....I cant think of a less disgusting word which comes closer to the meaning of a "ch..." no I dont wana type that...:$
But. Yes. He is one. Hes SO thick! Kuch samajh hi nai ata charye ko [no charya wasnt the word I meant to type earlier with the initials "ch.."]. He''re suposed to go for iftari today...and she took permission from him.....WHY does a girl have to take permission from the guy in the first place? What. The. Fuck? Its so frustrating!!!
So yeah he was cool with it and now....just 2 hours pehley hes telling her not to go cuz he got off from work. Again. What. The. Fuck?
Dil chata hai Acid dal doon us per. Selfish Idiot. And he's like much worse. I dint write down the whole thing so you may not be as disgusted as I am. But. Ugh. I really dont get it.