Monday, May 31, 2010

Finally a post triggered by some emotion. Princess Naivete of Awesomeville needs to get out of her happy bubble of innocence and accept the fact that shes a fuckin' hypocrite.
Here I am feeling bad for someone else's stupidity and there she is collecting crowns of wisdom in her Awesomeville.
You know what......everybody is an ass in some way or another. There are no exceptions. The only thing differentiating one from another is the percept. I clearly have had the wrong one.
I dont ever want to be involved in anything no matter what. Ever.
Just leave. Me. Be.
Take your gay ass fucks somewhere else.
Dont notice me. Dont talk to me. Dont ask for my opinion. And please dont [pretend to] worry about my feelings.

I cant do this right now. Have to work.

If only everyone I know would stand in a cue on my birthday and allow me to sab keh do to them. It wont be anything less than the experience of self actualization.


Shoot me for saying this but Sir Syed Ahmed Khan must have been one sexy lad, with all due respect of course.
To come up with all those ideas back then, and to have that kind of mentality in that kind of society is just plain hot.

So I got food poison so my weekend was fucked up so Im kinda sad n shit. But c'mon...look at the bright side...I lost like a whole inch in just one day ^.^
But I dont like being sick and dependent. And food is like...pretty much the only thing I live for. The worst that can happen to me is not cancer nor aids, but food poisoning.

Im supposed to be doing a 1925 word research paper on Ethnonationalism and I told Omer at 5 that I did 600 words when, in fact, I had only done 35 words out of which only 17 were from the actual text and rest are from the title. So yeah. Im kinda screwed.

Do you like ice? I love ice. Its awesome.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Third post in the last hour.

OMG I finally miss fb LOL, WTF? :O

I feel like a total loser right now.
Its Saturday Night Assness.
Kia batameezi hai.
Everyones having their exams:[
Im bored. And have a headache:[
You be the prince and I be the Princess?
What do I do then?:[
I be hating it.
I missed Kamran Shafi's column on Tuesday:[
I secretly like his columns better than cawasjee's.
Please dont beat me up for saying that :[


So there I was...on the verge of love.....and turns out that he's not only married, but has fathered a two year old son.
A classic elle-O-elle moment I tell you. Couldnt stop laughing at myself. But baby when its love if it aint rough it isnt fun. Yeah?
Anyway its weekend. The whole meaning of weekend has changed over the past month.
Weekends used to be about partying and fooling around and eating and watching all the movies you can in one night....But no more.
Now weekends are all about catching up on sleep. Yep. Its all about getting your sleep.
The world is changing.
I havent partied in almost three weeks now. I feel....old.
Not mature.....just old.
Why isnt amour here in karachi yet?
I mean....whatever biatch....not like we'll die without your stupid ice cream.
I wana watch a movie.
But it just seems like a waste of time now. I can totally use that time to sleep. Or breathe.
This stupid shit wont download.....gaaah....

And I shall live...

Happy Sunday ^.^

Me : aamir mujhey ek pineapple juice aur ek apple la dain please.

Amir : apple juice?

Me :

Amir : pie..?

Me : Nahi...just apple.

Amir : Bus ek apple?

Me : jee.

Danish : Snow white, meet apple, apple, meet snow white, let me find your seven dwarfs so you can go back to sleep.

So this is what its come to. Snow White. Of all they gay ass characters, Im being referred to as snow white. I like not.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

And the United States of America shall save us all.

I used to be awesome.
Then I grew up.
So Im not as awesome.
I dont know me anymore.
Im trying too hard.
But a little part of that extreme awesomeness is still alive in me somewhere.
Blogger is working again.
Im tempted to talk about work but I dont want to.
I have my own bank account now.
Rumor has it that Im fooling around at work. Which Im not. work talk uzma, get a life.
People are stupid.

So I was reading this book on American history and it turns out that America is actually Captain Planet trying to save the world from Mojo jojo.
You guys should totally read their course books.

I personally was not offended by Everybody Draw Muhammad Day or south park.
Yes, Im a Muslim.
Should I explain why?
Well, I dont feel like so doesnt matter.
We, the Holy Muslims, are the most pompous, the most arrogant of species. Next to Zionists and Jews of course.
We, the Paki's, as a nation, desperately need a life.

And no, Im not writing all this cuz Im missing facebook. I honestly dont miss it. Usually people use fb to stalk other people. There are only three people on this planet that I would stalk. Im no longer interested in the first one, second I dont want to, and the third Im not supposed to. And the bonus fourth is not there on fb. Heh.

I have to wake up early so yea....Nyte.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


But work is goin great ^.^
Kind of. The crush is gone so its not as exciting anymore:(
But I made friends *yaYy*
Danish and Saman. They're awesome ^.^

Im going home. Kiaw yaar been weeks since I wrote an awesome post.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I Gotta a feelin'

Tonight's gona be a good night?
HAAN ^.^

My blog has been about the papers I write and my boss and I know its been a little gay in a very uninteresting way. I know. Okay. Just that....Thats whats going on in my life. But if youre in no mood to see me be gay then I suggest you leave. But know that i'll miss you whoever you are:[
Nah I dint mean that. Just tryna get in the flow but AnywaY...umm..

Blogger has been bitchin lately....I cant view my blog for some reason.
And no, I dont miss facebook. See...I kind of have a life n all..
Its sunday and I couldnt sleep past 9. How lame is that.
I'll do this later.....not in the mood.

Monday, May 17, 2010


Not a good day.
I had to do a paper on Peter F. Drucker and I kept reading it Peter Frucker for some reason.
I left it incomplete. Its on Management for Heaven's sake. I mean...c'mon.
But I dint just leave it...I have to get it done by tomorrow. I mean now. I dont want to go back and continue Business and Management. My brain wont work.
And I totally missed having that gay conversation I have with him everyday...

O : Did you mail it?

Me : Yes.

O : No, thats the wrong file.

Me : Oh....*mails again*
Did you get it?

O : Yes.

*after a few seconds*

O : Uzma.....No..

Me : no..?

O : No.

Me : Okay...


I dont do business and management..........okay?

Oh and while you're out there deleting me n shit....might as well stop reading my blog. Thank you.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I got homework to do:[

I got work to do on Sunday. I don't have to but I probably should cuz the order is due tomorrow and its on Management and I kinda suck at it. He says 'You decide. I need it by tomorrow evening' so yea...that's like a code for 'you're super slow so get started princess' and that's exactly what I'm gona do. Sigh.
Management does not interest me.
But he's out of my league:\

You know how most people bite their nails when they're tense n all...? Yea my cousin used to eat her thumb instead. She stopped about a year back but it still looks fucked up. Shes funny.
I did a research paper on South Park dealing with Censorship and Islam and I came across some weird stuff. Too bad I'm in no mood to discuss it. Its just that i spent six hours doing it so it kind of loses its charm you see...
Anyway...they be celebrating 'Everybody draw Muhammad day' on the 20th of May. No I'm not asking anyone to do anything just saying its gona happen. The cartoonist who came up with an idea has posted an apology on her blog [] and dint set up any page on fb. And the site on which the threat was posted claims it was not a threat but a prediction []. Yada yada I really dont care. We seriously need to stop paying attention to all this bullshit you know. There are bigger issues in the world.

I wants:

2 Chocolate glazed donuts
Caramel Blizzard [cold coffee]
2GB Memory Card [Yes, still]
A bigger bag
Better health
Stable mind
a lil Sunshine
and caramel chocolate cookies

....for now.

P.S. I'd pick caramel over chocolate any given day.

Also, I made zero citation mistakes on Friday ^.^

Good girl Uzma.

*draws a happy star on left cheek*


Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Work, my loves, is not college. You cant skip it just cuz you feel like it.
You need an excuse. A good a heart attack or a death.
And Wijdan it was just a typo. You dint have to embarras me like that. Bugged me all day.
Anyway...I suck.
Im not a good writer.
Its been three days and Im still fucking around with the citations.
And Im not a good writer.
I can type alright. I can type all the bullshit in the world like I am now. But I cant write.
Know whats my speed? I just do two pages a day. And day means five hours. That too have to be corrected later for the citations.
Today I did five pages in seven hours. It was a research paper on the Impact of Gender in Negotiation.
I really cant write.
Omer, my employer, whom I had a crush on for like a whole weekend, has to keep up with my bullshit all day.
My corky smile just doesnt cut it anymore.
I cant write and I demand a written apology from everyone who said I could.

Oh and my office people are aliens. They dont eat. They just drink pepsi and tea all day and keep staring at their laptops. And thats exactly what I do. Except I dont do tea and I already consume a lot of coke. So I drink water all day and chew gum and try to write and I fail.

But its Fun ^.^
I get to research crap.
And I'll get paid.
Please dont get the impression that I was complaining. Just writing down about work.
Im Lovin' it ^.^

Sunday, May 9, 2010

You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress, ooOo

Tomorrow my first day at work ^.^
Cant wait ^.^
Is it just me or my last few posts have been really super gay?
So yes about the job....I'm a content writer and researcher. I research and write. Thats about it. Ive told so many people the details that I dont feel like writing it down here=[
Kal Rida ki shadi thi ^.^
She looked like Nadia Hussain...Only younger and less manly. ^.^
I ended up wearing a very simple cotton suit and pulling my hair back cuz of the shitty weather.
But me no bride. The bride is she. And she, my friends, looked lovely ^.^

Why is mothers day so In my face this year?
Where are all these reminders when I dont forget it and do something special for her? How come I dont get any msgs then?
Im in no mood to express my feelings and hugging and baking and doing anything nice and I've been trying to avoid it like the whole damn day but they just wont leave me alone. I dont need a special day to make my mom feel special. So fuffoff y'all.

Anway, seen Leon the professional? Starring Natalie Portman and Reno?
Its...disturbing. Really disturbing. I sound conservative but I seriously fail to see the beauty in a sex-free and clean love affair between a 12 year old girl and a middle-aged man. No matter how nicely they put it, I just find it disturbing.

Friday, May 7, 2010

epic yaYy-ness ^.^

I got a job ^.^
and a crush ^.^
Hes the most sophisticated dude Ive ever met. Hot voice, awesome body language, and he's creative n intelligent n all that. Also he's my supervisor:/
Im not gona like being criticized by him.
But fuck that. I GOT A JOB ^.^

Rida is getting married tomorrow:O
I dont have anything to wear:O
British Counsel's test was stupid. They gave us thirty minutes to complete a ten minutes test. I'll prolly get that job too ^.^
After being dead for almost a year...Im alive again.
Finally looking forward to waking up.
*drowns in tears of joy*
Im in love again:D

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Lite nai gai....wadafuck:O
I hate it when they torture me like that.

I have my interview tomorrow. Two actually.
Wish me Luck ^.^
I had one today as well....The dude said Im cute:D
As much as I hate personal questions....I love being interviewed.
*yaYy* my interview.
Im excited ^.^

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Thats whats wrong with the world.

There are three things in this world that I do not understand.
Mushrooms, Olives, and women. While the first two on the list are easy to ignore, the third remains in your face from the moment you're born to the moment you die.
They have issues and petty issues and lame issues which they take rather seriously. They're unpredictable and impossible to understand which is sad since 'being understood' is on top of their to-do list.
Hormonal imbalances along with not being understood makes them cranky which leads to great depression and much higher expectations which leads to a fucked up world.
Yes my friends, I just figured out whats wrong the world.
Its women - not global warming.

Subway wont receive my call=[

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Because my taste buds are better than yours.

Dont you just love that lasting taste of tobacco in you throat...?
I played dulan dulan for the first time on friday [with rida of course] was fun...but I dont want to play it again.
I dont have anything interesting or funny to write. I think Im gona be away for a while.

And while Im gone...It would be really nice on your part to not un-follow my blog [if youre following it]. I mean....its just not cool.

P.S. Arizona steaks are over-rated.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

19 se 18 followers..:O
Thats very rude You whoever You.

I dont like you...
I dont wana party anymore.
I need some time alone to re-charge.
Leave me alone friends=[