Monday, November 29, 2010

Sweet sweet Sheila.

So here I my life. The same old routine.
Skip jog, wake up late, piss off mom, pretend to work, pretend to be tired from working too much, eat, watch useless shit, actually work a little, watch a movie, get disappointed, and go to sleep.
So I was just living my meaningless life when suddenly one day I woke up to strange messages that were discussing sheila and sheila ki jawani. And Im like....whathefack?
So I ignore them and carry on. But then I received three more messages that same day in the evening saying things like "sheila ki jawani tere haath na aani" and I get like offended cuz I've made it clear several times that Im straight.
But then it got worse. People started talking about Sheila in their fb status. Which, of course, forced me to google sheila, and sheila ki jawani and it turned out to be pretty hot. Sheila's got her jawani and her ass alright. I mean....if I were a guy...i'd jack off to that:\

Anyway, the point is...unless I collect lots of money by January, Im gona end up being the Uzma version of Sheila. And by that I dont mean i'll be all sexy and hot and gorgeous. By Sheila I mean uneducated, lifeless, self-absorbed, a bit of a slut, and married. Or I might just kill myself. But I dont like thinking about that...I'll collect enough. Yeah. I will. But if I dont. No. Thats not an option. But Im just glad munni is out of the scene. That bitch was getting on my nerves.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Seriously...what the hell is wrong with guys nowadays?
Why do they get offended so easily?
They're getting worse than girls.
Pehley when you refused giving your number they would just be a little sad but end up "understanding" but now..they like get offended.
Like "How dare you not give me your number...Do you know who I am? I am the best guy I know"
This kid...he stopped talking to my friend cuz I refused giving my number and dint talk to her for a whole week.
Itney loser kiu hogai hain sab?
I mean...c'mon...I have the right to not give my number and address to a stranger. Itna bura maan ne wali kia baat hai?
Guys can no longer take insults. They've grown ovaries somewhere inside.
Which explains their random mood swings.
This dude. I told this hot shit dude that Im "not interested" and he ended up getting so pissed that he blocked me from facebook, was angry the whole day, and kept abusing me in front of our mutual friend.
And I dont mean abuse like "that-bitch-sucks-abuse" abuse. I mean "maa-bhen-pen-rubber-utensil-abuse" abuse.
I dont know what the fuck is wrong with that retard.
Mutlab kia?
I dont even know you akhroat brain.
Zara charming nai hain meri generation ke bandey.
Im gona get married to a guy who is at least ten years older than I am.
Ive had it with these new "men".

Monday, November 22, 2010

Haram Halal lala lala

I dont know WHY I always read foreword as foreplay.
Its embarrassing. What if some hears my thoughts? o.o
Ive become so lame. Happy doesnt suit me.
I've started jogging early morning right [so Hot].

Saniya: Tomorrow we wont go to ******* park...

Me: Oh no...phir?

Saniya: Halal park

Me: Theek hai...hum khajai gey usko.

Saniya: Kha jain gey?

Me: Yes ^.^

Saniya: What?:\

Me: Wo halal haina...tou hum kha lain ge.
*om nom nom*

Saniya: Dude...Lame o__o

Mujhey to funny laga mera joke. Pata nai.
Ye din bhi dekhna tha.
Ab Saniya mujhey lame bolti hai=[
Meri tou sari cool hi gayab hogai somewhere.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Phipty pounds.

Holy to the shits it be winter already ^.^
Im so happy.
Im a happy person.
What? You dont know me anymore? -.-
Kia karoon=[
ab bus hoon to hoon.
I cant force myself to be upset now can I?
Im actually living a very delusional life at the moment.
I have the best future planned for myself.
Im ignoring all the negativity.
Not like its not is...and I can see it...but I choose not to.
Aesey hi...for a while.
Meri Eid awesome thi:O
How many times have you heard me say that?
Know why it was awesome?
I dint avoid bullshit this year.
I stood in its face gave it a huge fuck in its ass
Im also not reading the newspaper.
I think that has a lot to do with this.
Light bhi nai jarai.
Jo bhi the reason. I feel rainbows in the snow.
Rainbows What? Pata nai.
I got my first direct order. Almost.
5 pounds per page.
Major awesomeness coming my way.
Meri cousin bohat vain hai. But shes nice. Koi baat nai.
Meri ek aur cousin bohat insecure hai. Uper se achi bhi nai hai.
Thori dumb bhi hai. Not even that fortunate looking.
Thorey bitchy compounds bhi hain us mai.
Pata nai kia hogha bechari ka.
Come hither my love,
I shall share my umbrella with you ^.^

Thursday, November 11, 2010

A pound is worth more than a Dolla babay ^.^

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


So far I have written more than hundred research papers, articles, essays, and thesis. And like...good stuff. No plagiarism. All well thought.
If they were all published on my personal website in my name id be like...famous:\
My brother reads my blog:O
I dint know:O
Hes not much of a reader actually.
But...Hey Junaid...watap yow ^.^
Hows mom? :D
Im writing this shit on UC and CSU budget cuts.
One of the lamest topics that I've covered.
Kal dena hai. Still have more than three pages to write. They're not much but when you dont feel like writing it feels like youre writing a 36 page-er on the stock market. And I dont know shit about stocks. Thats One thing I dont get. of a lot of things that I dont get.
Acha bye.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Patience is like so FUCKING AWESOME :D

Be An You?

I forgot my password.
I forgot the password of my bank account -.-
Khuaari lagey gi ab.
I have been looking at the course outline for organizational psychology in different institutes for months now.
The little things you do, for me
Nobody else, makes me feel good
Its so frustrating reading about courses you know you cant do.
There's University of Hertfordshire, then there is Manchester Business School, Bilal is going there, then there's Oxford, and there will always be Yale, somewhere deep in my heart:\
But screw that okay.
Cuz we also have BNU. Only its in Lahore, but here.
Only its expensive, but comparatively affordable.
Only I wont get permission but the idea is possible.
The next two months its going to be me collecting money and struggling to convince my mum to let me go there.
Pray? No?

Monday, November 8, 2010


Sometimes I feel like the only one who is farig..:\
Im the one always randomly texting, randomly going at sania's, watching all the movies in the world, reading crap no one gives a shit about, cooking, baking, doing homework for everyone else. Mutlab kia. Nobody ever sends me random msgs. Doesnt anyone ever get bored?
Whatever in the world is so interesting?
I want to text but I dont want to cuz I dont want to lose my charm:\
So here I are.
Sketching makes me feel awesome=[
My mum's cousin is here. Shes irritating.
Like vAry irritating.
The kind who says things like "why are you studying psychology?" "dont sit online for more than two hours" "why dont you study something nice?"
I can take that once in a while...but today...she kind of got a lil out of the box...

She: "aapkey kitney friends hain?"

Me: "bohat sarey"

She: "acha....aur boys?"

Me: "boyfriend?"

She: "haan..."

Me: "boyfriend to nai hai"

She: "very good...bohat achi baat hai"


I dont like nosy people <_<
Pata nai kab jaein gi apney ghar.
Also, do you ever get caught between fb comment war?
Like you comment on someones status...I just do cuz you're bored or the status says something really stupid so you just have to correct it. And then suddenly a friend of friend interrupts...and starts a whole damn conversation with the friend in the comment. And you keep getting notifications for two days and you get like pissed off. So you just politely ask them to fuck off. And then they get after you. Like...full time larai. And youre not even responding but they keep bugging you. And you still dont respond to the stupidity so they start writing about you on the friends wall.
Sounds irritating...nai?
It is...but this time the annoying person was quite charming:\
Its been a while since someone came up with a smart comeback to shut me up.
It almost never happens.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Sab ko apna opinion bataney ka itna shauk kiu hota hai?
I mean why is it so necessary for everyone to go out of their way, to express their opinion about something that makes absolutely no difference in their life? I mean....fine sometimes you're welcome to comment like blogs and public posts n opinion is not always wanted.
I mean. I really, genuinely dont want to know your opinion.
Say...Im here not speaking. Okay?
And then suddenly you ask me something personal...something I do not want to share.
But knowing that you believe that you are my very good friend I dont make a big deal out of it. So I answer in a simple yes or no. Now, anyone who has any sense should know by the yes/no that I dont wish to discuss it any further. But not the people that I know. They just have to express their opinion about it and share their feelings with me regarding my decision or opinion or choice.
Mutlab...maine to nai pucha na apse?
Why are you telling me?
You have your opinion, I respect that, but can you please keep it to yourself?
You like it. You dont like it. Not making a difference in my life.
Pura mulk sara din baith kar apna opinion express karta rehta hai.
Karli hum ne tarrakki ek dosrey ko apna opinion bata kar bus.
Ho gai hum sab kamyab by expressing our feelings.
Also, whats with the unwanted advices?
I dont go around advising people.
What have I dont to deserve all those advices?
Ajatey hain sab apni advise ka bara sa carton le kar.
Sab ek dosrey ko advise kertey rehtey hain.
Ek to ghareeb, uper se irritating.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Six Points of Feminine Law

So ever since I left my old job I have nothing else to do.
Pretty lifeless. And merey brother ka semester end hora hai so he hogs the pc the whole day to make his assignments and the TV well...yeah you have to wait at least an hour to get your turn.
So I was really Im like...HEY Wait...Why am I bored?
So I did some "girl stuff" and I knew it in the back of my head that this is a very bad idea and I was laughing at myself secretly all along.
Anyway, I did some makeup...a lot of it actually...Green n Orange eyes [<3] and pink blush and light gloss. But after that Im like...Now what? And then I realized that Im a "Girl" who uses "Facebook" :O So I took pics....lots of them...High angle pout pics.

The practical helped me discover the following:

* I dont know how to pout.
* I dont know how to take high angle pics.
* I cannot look up in the camera and smile at the same time.
* I will never get those twenty minutes of my life back.
* I should never try this again.
* Girls who do this kinda stuff are not Muslim [^.^]

Also, my lazy eye is quite prominent.
Can you tell? My right eye?
Also, meri eyes kitna empty haina?:/
Its distrubing.
And please, do notice that I have pretty eye lashes.
Thank you.

Anyway...I also made awesome brownies today.
They were really awesome.
Somebody better discover me soon.
My awesomeness is being wasted.
And yes, I do know other words...just...awesome sounds better.
Its an exaggerated term.
I love exaggeration.
And ice.
And jelly.
I miss you Jelly=[

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A public Service Message.

I've been living where I live for almost 17 years now and I still dont know my neighbors. I just found a blogger who's also my neighbor like yaYy:D
I still dont knwo who she is.
shit shit cold water shit cold...ehehe
Rida ayi thi. Hum ko to itna sara maza aya jee haan apko to aya bhi nahi.
This new place that I joined...the dude whos supposed to supervise me is like really irritating.
Kuch ziada hi "nice" hai.
Dont you hate these sentences?
"meri mother bohat kind hain"
"merey brother korma bohat like kartey hain"
Itna complicate karney ki kia zarorat hai sentence ko?
Oh...and I know someone who uses the word "recon" in real life.
I just find it odd. Who says that?:\
I mean....its good that you do...good for you...but just...why so...constipated?

Also, it has been brought to my attention, by my super intelligent self, that my awesome cool generation is also suffering from "FB Status of Wisdom Syndrome" [FbSWS], because "Have-to-write-my-life-on-fb" [HWLFb], and "Compulsion-to-use-words-that-I-do-not-understand Syndrome" [CUWUS] was just not doing it anymore. Thats right.
I feel the need to spread awareness because my very good friends are also suffering from it and soon it will be YOUR friend who is continuously writing things like "Smile, it irritates those who wish to destroy you" and "Altering your rules all the time leads you to an extreme situation of intolerance. Don't give up until its a doom day" in their status, which will be updated at least three times a day. That is a lot of news feed. FbSWS does not only shits up the wall of the patient, but also has adverse effects on the homepage of the 745 people in their friend's list. Please beware, the disorder is highly contagious.
Thank you.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I like to sit next to no one.

I just remembered why I actually started working. I dont like staying at home all day long.
Its frustrating not having a life...24 hours a day.
Fortunately, I will officially start my new job tomorrow at 7 p.m.
Unfortunately, its a stay-at-home kinda stuff. But pays good so...I need money anyway.
Like really need it.
Turns out I have to pay for my university all by myself. Like completely.
Know what that means? Im gona have to work like an ass for the next two years and study at the same time. And Im not exactly hating the idea.
Its the stay at home part which irritates me. And Im not exactly a party animal. I mean...I dont get out of the house at all. But I want to for work or study or something productive. Fazul mai I dont like roaming around in the malls and cafes and restaurants, laughing like idiots, and giving each other high fives for cracking a lame ass joke. Looks stupid.
Anyway, Amna, my weird cousin Amna, made us race her the other day. And we had to. Once she decides something you have to give it to her. Shes kind of large n stuff...really beats the crap out of me:s
And Im not kidding, she does. Im not that strong physically. I can fight verbally all you want...and I usually win. Not that it makes a difference. But ya know.
I dont know why I type like Im Ashton Kutcher and a bunch of 13 year old virgins are waiting for me to narrate my life.
Anyway, Kal Rida arai hai. Hum ko to itna maza ayega.