Sunday, August 30, 2009
It reminds me of...umm...that day we went out in the rain and had pani puri or was it bbq....cant remember. It was so beautiful outside that I avoided food. I avoided FOOD to look at the rain.
Then they went out to get something and I stayed in the backseat of the car....staring outside. Wondering shit. Then we just drove around till it was completely dark.
I was....err....10 I think. Something about that day. Something weird. Something that made me feel complete and sad at the same time. Complete cuz it was perfect. Sad cuz it wasn't true. It wasn't my place there.
I wish this blog were'nt public ryte now. Keeps me from writing.
On a more happier note....umm.....No I dont have anything funny to say. I thought I did but I dont. So. Yea. I'll just leave it to that.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Hey little girl [wtf?]
is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone [wtf]
I got a bad desire
Im on fire
Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do [wtf?]
I can take you higher
Im on fire
Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull
and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet [wtff?]
And a freight train running through theMiddle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
Im on fire
Ive been trying to ignore it for quite some time now but Ive had enough. Seriously no one finds it disturbing? Seriously? No one?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
THESE are supposed to be the good happy "care-free" days....where Im supposed to enjoy life to the fullest.
But guess what? Theyre not all that. And since future, no matter how good n awesome, isnt gona be as awesome as "these days" THIS basically is supposed to be the height of awesome-ness in my life.
By the time I hit 25 im gona be married to some strange loser my mum n papa picks out and Im gona hate it. Im gona get bored of HIM after like a month and hate my life and feel useless unless im working....but then i'll be too lazy to work and i'll just be home watching tv and eating and get fat and feel sorry for myself....and the dude is gona lose interest in me soon....I mean....statistically speaking, I cant seem to amuse a guy for more than a month...and this is my experience talking. And a month is too much...never lasts for more than 21 days actually but never mind that. So yeah....soon Im gona get a divorce and will be too cool to tell my mum and will prolly end up doing drugs and politics.....so yes....My life is gona SUCK ASS.
So I have like 5 years to do whatever I want....but then again...I dont wana do anything cuz according to this bogus theory Ive lived the best days of my life. Like what the fuck man?
My life sucked. Like SUCKED. I mean.....like....what the fuck man?
I refuse to believe this shit.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
She totally scared my principal....and that lady who was wearing green....and Muraad Baba....and Anil dude....like...Im so proud of her....*tears*
And I finally got my cell back after a week. It was confiscated. Some gay rule and a gay president. Whatever.
Yea Im done writing.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Just a few of us manage to escape - and when we do - we make sure the rest remain trapped. Why? To manipulate. Why? To make the situation suit our temperament. Why? To feel better [and secretly superior]. But why escape emotions to feel again? This I haven't figured out as yet.
The theory in process is something to do with capturing emotions and ruling them. But. No.
We were discussing desensitization the other day in psychology.
make somebody less sensitive to fear : to make somebody less responsive to an overwhelming fear by repeated exposure to the feared situation or object, either in natural or artificial circumstances.
My cousin is scared of heights and sharp objects. Another scared of public humiliation. My mummy scared of millipedes. Interesting.
Which reminds me of this beautiful shocking pink dragon millipede which shoots cyanide from its mouth. How cool is THAT? :D
Dont you just love this thing rida?:D
I PAr-TAY-ed yesterday for 8 hours straight. Party-ing for some very odd reason, sobers me down.
Friday, August 14, 2009
N O T !
After having restless-leg-syndrome for about 15 years, my mum suddenly asked me today not to move my leg - "naisty hoti hai"...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Their blogs are so cute and full of life. They make me smile.
Also stupid....buh who am I to say that? My shits stupid too.
My mum jus texted me sayin "Uzma national song download karo"
I thought Id have a life once my college starts....but Ive been wrong before.
I feel dumb yO!
I need learn new stuff and read stuff and find out creepy stuff in order to geet rid of this shit.
Its that simple.
Moti bhi hogai hoon.
Kuch karne ka dil nai chata.
Motivation hi khatam hogai hai.
I feel Weird.
But no...not like feel-feel.
My brain keeps telling me its all weird and then I try to feel weird.
But...its...I dont know.
Nothings wrong. Everythings fine.
Nothing unusual. Just the usual.
I dont know.
Its not the first time.
But it always comes as a surprise.
I hate how sometimes you can never get used to things that happen so often.
Whole lota emo shit.
I need some brain-storming.
But then again...dil nai chata for anything.
I sound emo. I hate this.
Im trying so hard for any kind of distraction.
Trying hard to interest myself into something.
Anything at all.
Tried using people.
Even tried manipulating myself.
I hate this.
Section A - Section B.
Feels like the end.
It isnt - I know.
It will pass.
But I have to live it to end it.
I hate this.
Im tired of reasoning.
I dont want to.
I dont want to understand anymore.
It is how it is. No reason. No explanation.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Me : "Uroozzzz..."
Woji : "zee..?"
Me : "Im bored."
Woji : "hmm.."
Mrs Caleb : "....and if your attendance is not up to 75% we will not only give you a TC, but also inform your father that your daughter has been bunking..."
Me : "Yea...Good luck with that!"
Woji : *awkwardly silent - staring at me not knowing how to react*
Afu : *HEHEHHEHEHE*
The lady I thought was teaching Natural science but wasnt : "......Section A - Section B..."
Me : "Does section A and section B remind you of operations? Like a C section or a body split open on the table...like someones about to perform an operation on someone...take out organs n shit..?"
Afu : *giggle*
Me : "Did it remind you of operations and blood?"
Afu : "No."
Me : "You think Im demented?"
Afu : "Yes."
ME : "Dude...I feel like turnin into some sort of liquid...like water....like I wana melt to the ground and spread and evaporate into thin air and just like not exist...dude....are you listening?"
Woji : *looking in my eyes and nodding* "Jee bikul sahi keh rahi hain aap...I know exactly what youre talking about and I understand what youre trying to say and I agree. Mai samajh rahi hoon aap kia kehna chah rahi hain. samajh rahi hain aap? I know...I understand what youre talking about. Jee. Bilkul. Sahi kaha."
See how much fun I have in college? Itni excitement nahi handle hoti mujh se.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I mean the whole pasting chats thing...Id go all...WTF is her problem some skank pasting her convos like anyone gives a shit...
But, lo and Behold, I will be having a life from tomorrow. That is correct, dear reader, my college starts tomorrow and I will NOT be wasting time. Yes. Future. Career. Education. I will pay my full and complete attention to all the things I dont give a shit about.
jus cuz I dont have anything to write doesnt mean I dont ahve nothing to say....whatever that means...:\
sounds like poof eh?
y do u always come up with weird names for me
yeah more like destructive for others
whats wit teh chan?
something i picked up from jap manga nd anime
what does it mean?
lame i know
very lame indeed.
so jakie chan mean jakie the big gay sister ?
this dude from ****** ryte...the only nice sane one who doesnt go ther anymore,,
i think he has a crush on me
lets do stuff together
the last thing i want is another guy tellin me hes in love with me.
its acrush it will pass
they all confused by that thing called hormones.
lol wat moans
afu you perv!
i saw this movie ""Joshua"" it was creepy
the kid said dat
in the movie not my own thinking
yeah you too innocent to be doin all that dirty thinkin on your own.
i know perfect little angel
u know now tht poof word is stuck in my brain
not much space ther is it?
one at a time
im watching a mosquito trying to suck blood out of me arm
dat far okay
im gonna pick it up now then try to brake its sucking tube
he wont b sucking anymore blood
me bro taught me that
yeha i learned it on my own...
its also fun to drop them on top of the liquid mat
and pul their legs one by one
and then pull one wing and leave one and a leg..
and watch em struggle.
that is a bit sadistic but still lol
oh and pullin its blood suking thing isnt.?
Affu you hypocrite!!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
I just hope my mum wont call mara and ask him...cuz...id be in deep shit then...and kainat bhi...
hehehhe...I FEEL WILD YO!!!:D
I had a load of shit to write all funny stuff n all....during lunch and ...umm....I cant remember nothing...Rida do the honors on your blog pleeeeeisss...:D
It was fun...Monday se college....
Oh damn I have to find my bag and books....shit...
ugh....kia hai bhui!!!!
Rida did me eye make up...I know typical eh..?
But It was nice yO....but then I have this bad habit of rubbing.....my EYE you perv!
and then I rubbed one eye and it came off - not the eye the make up....and then it was all swollen...the eye.....and...yeah....
I cant believe I cant remember the damn convo!!!!