Thursday, December 31, 2009

OHMYGOSHLIKEHAPPYNEWTOYOUANDYOURFAMILYANDALLTHEBLESSINGSANDLOVESANDOHMYGOSH!!

  • No Income [check]
  • Low self-esteem [check]
  • No sense of Direction [check]
  • 4 Extra Pounds [check]
  • Guilt [check]
  • Reduced Intelligence [check]
  • Citizenship of The Shit hole [check]


WoAh....Looks like Im all set to begin another pointless Year.
Happy New Year To Me Babay!

...and you too.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pedo from the Hood.

Somethings up with my head. I mean...having weird dreams about your ex's current love interest is one thing....but having a dream of a pedophile form your childhood is just disturbing.
There used to be this man where I live...He was someones driver. He looked something like Chuck Norris, only his beard was pimp black and he was whiter and healthier. Actually...no...he looked more like Liev Schreiber. I'll photoshop.
Anyway...My school van driver used to tell me to get down 15 minutes early (I know...what a jerk). And I was the only kid studying in afternoon so I had to wait for the van all alone. So this bastard used to stand there staring at me for fifteen whole minutes!
And I wasnt even that attractive back then...I must be 13-14 something....we're talking a straight highway road here with absolutely no turns. I tried hiding behind a tree, car, pillar nothing worked. He would just stand ryte in front of me and stare.

Now there are kinds of stares...First you have the harmless innocent kind. You know the young ones who are new to puberty and are fascinated by round objects. They just have a "wow look at that, I wish I could touch it" in their heads. Theyre just curious. All you have to do is give them a hard long stare and they'll hide behind tree.
Then you have the mature uncles staring at you with a big *sigh* wishing they had a younger wife....They're a little annoying and sometimes sick.
Then you have The stare...the kind which makes you want to self combust. The one that makes you wish you were never born. These people are usually raping you in their heads n jacking it leaving you with nausea for the next three days.
Thats the kind of stare I had to deal with.
But of course, I dint know all this back then....I was just scared cuz i thought he was going to kidnap me and put me in the acid drum (Remember Javed Iqbal?). I even cried once. It wasnt till I turned 16 that I realized that all he wanted to do was rape me.
I havent been this scared of a person my whole life (besides Arif phupa...hes like fat and bald and short....I almost blurt my lungs out with the salaam every time he comes in front of me).

So yes...I had a dream that HE was Mariams new driver...:\
Oh Mariam finally has a new driver *yaYy*..
Damn Mariam, GET OUT OF MY HEAD MAN!! This is Gay.
See Rida...you too busy with your cousins aren't you? Look whats happening to me.

Okay I just realized I dont have photoshop so I had to edit in paint.
If you see this man around throw rocks/bikes/anything pointy and heavy at him!


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Life khappay, still.

Mariam [my partner in crime friend who is just as lifeless] and I had decided on Sunday that we would start studying on Tuesday. After Midnight. Technically Wednesday. But it seems like we wont be having our exams before February. So we're talkin massive waste of time, only this time, no remorse.
Shes been like my boy friend for the past 4 days. I spend like 4-8 hours chatting with her. I feel so gay. [Not that I dont enjoy and appreciate it=p]
I wanted to write something about the blast n shit but then again...whats the point?
We all knew it was gona happen. Also I lost interest.
Just being honest.
So lets get down to things that dont matter at all but I like to mention them anyway, because I can.

Issues of the Day :

Why do girls think that they're not going to look like a slut if they just look away and pretend that they are completely unaware of the fact that a person [whom they begged for hours to take their picture because they look so divine so they can upload them on fb and compete in the 'I am skank-ier than you are' competition] is standing ryte in front of them with a god damn camera?
Just look in the God damn camera, bitch?
What exactly are you trying to prove?
That youre so gorgeous that everyone wants to take your picture and save the moment of your awesomness forever? Is that what you have in mind? You think that we dont knwo that you know someones taking your pic?
What the Fuck, I ask you?

Also, whats with the peace/rock/victory sign?



Is that supposed to be cool?

Also, why do people like the song fireflies by Owl city?

A fox trot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed

A disco ball is just hanging by a thread


Please explain?
Was he high on bullshit when he wrote it?
I cant believe they're actually playing it on the radio.

I....need a hobby [read life].

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Life khappay!


* That is a kutta with a smile of a child molester =>

* I am a racist.

* You have a lot of time to waste.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Ho ho hoe!

Are you ready?
Ready for the drama?
the depression?
the wailing?
the exaggeration?

Cuz I most certainly am Not!

Just...Why?
Why do we have to ridicule ourselves like this every year?
I dont get the mindset of the people involved in it.
I just dont get it.
Never will.
Just.
Blegh.
I have issues with Muharram.

Also. There's this new text roaming around that youre not supposed to wish people Merry Christmas cuz the term itself has something to do with God begetting Christ or something.
Everyone who bothered forwarding this text, a Big Fuck You to YOU!
Bloody Bird Brains.
THIS is why we suck.
Before you froward such hateful racist messages please bother searching a little about it?
Go google the etymology of "Merry Christmas"
I live in the country of the Pious Chosen Idiots.
You're all out there to piss me off innit?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My cousin...


Amna says:
uzma lsn!

uzma says:
haan
OMG
LOOK AT YOUR DP
ahahahahahhahahaha

Amna says:
lol!
pls uzma Im serious!

uzma says:
WAT THE FUCK MAN?
LOL
KIU?

Amna says:
haan naaaa.a.

uzma says:
ab tum ye dp laga ker mujhse serious baat karogi?
lol

Amna says:
suno naa. pls dp hide kerdou!

uzma says:
haan kardi
lol

Amna says:
lol!
acha lsn mein cam on keronge excpt kerna tumko ek cheez dekhane hai!

uzma says:
ew

Amna says:
nai woh nai hai.

uzma says:
please.

Amna says:
Bitch
hahahahahaha..
IM SERIOUS
help me out!
ok?

uzma says:
fine

Amna is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.

uzma says:
whats that?

Amna says:
I just made it!

uzma says:
[censored]?

Amna says:
naaai !
kaisa hai?
it's a jewry box?!

uzma says:
oooh
its nice

Amna says:
kaise lagrhe hun mein cam mein?

uzma says:
like a cam whore

The webcam session has ended.

Amna says:
lol!
nai naaa..
I was looking nice!
=D

uzma says:
lol
sure.

----

I refuse to accept the fact that Im related to them. Every single time we interact my intelligence decreases.
[Konsole] #include [iostream.h]
[Konsole] #include [stdlib.h]
[Konsole] #include [afterstepspenis.h]
[Konsole] #include [thatnakedchick.h]
[Konsole] #define hebangsher 1
[Konsole] int main(void)
[Konsole] {
[Konsole] while (hebangsher)
[Konsole] cout << "oh yeah!\n";
[Konsole] return 0;
[Konsole] }

[afterstep] yeah. Thats funny...=(

My Journey - From Jolie to Lilo.


Its an allergy reaction. To what I dont know. But its pretty bad. Can barely open my eyes. Took the pic in the morning. Its much worse now. Worse enough to make everyone go all "Hhaaawwee....".
Err...Yes...thank you for the motivation everyone.
I mean...I wouldnt go to a cancer patient and go all "haaaawwee...."...the person is already fucked up alryte....gaaah..
I dont want to lose my vision....:(
I hate how my blog is all about me and how pathetic Im feeling but
*waaaaaaaaaaan*
I love my eyes...*sniff*....Dont take my vision...take my sense of smell...or ability to walk...or auditory sensation....just not my eyes...[or hands]....*waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan*...please...:(

Oh..my EEG report came today....its just as lame as EEG itself. I mean I was actually looking forward to getting it done ya know...like oh how cool it would be they'll record my brain activity and how eveyr part of my brain responds...but it was so lame I ended up taking a nap. The guy kept telling me to relax n breathe.
SO yes...the report says hyperactivity n shit but normal. And theres a lil note in the end sayin "This does NOT rule out epilepsy"
:\
Mutlab...kia?
I dont like this!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Needles. Because theyre pointy.

*Thinking of something funny to write*

*thinks harder*

*scratches chin*

*pushes specs back up on the nose*

*gives up*

I have issues with needles.
Ive never taken an injection. Malaria, typhoid, measles, chicken pox....NEVER.
Im not scared of the dark or lizards or crocodiles or heights or snakes...but I have issues with people inserting a needle in me....and short, fat, bald, mean looking men. They kind of freak me out.
Also I would like to take this opportunity to tell you tht my IT teacher is not hot. I just said I have a 'thing' for him and the rest were all assumptions. Hes a geek and a nerd. And apparently that seems to be my thing:\
Thank you.
Sorry you had to click all the way to my blog to read this useless, unfunny, unintellectual piece of crap. My sincere apologies.
Good night.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

And there once was a super sexy Hypocrite..

I know Ive been really lame lately...
Pata hai mujhey.
Unfortunately, the lameness is going to continue for a while.
Its not me...its the imbalances.
But. Screw that.
I want to upload ayeshas pictures. Theyre so adorable.
But at the same time I hate it when people upload baby pics or use them as their display pictures. Its just annoying man. All kids are not cute. Dont expect everyone to go all 'awwwwn-awwwe-kuchie-koo-goo-goo-gaa-gaa' over it.
See the conflict Im dealing with right now?
But...me uploading baby pics here is completely different yeah..?
I mean rules are always different for everyone else.
Also this be my personal space.....I can be lame, I can upload baby pics, I can upload porno pics, Meri God Damn Marzi!
Screw You!




Saturday, December 19, 2009

Crank.

Hey, guys. Is there an easy way to split an array of 100 integers for example and write 3 numbers per line separated by whitespace into a file ?

#include "realeasyfunctions.h" / Split100intArrayWrite3xLineWithWhitespaceInto(FILE* f);

bahahaha...this is hilarious..=(

My awesome friends think I should stop using bad words on my blog. Kinda fucks it up and doesnt suit my personality.
Okay.
Thats how much I love you guys...=(
<3

Friday, December 18, 2009

I dont have hysteria, Afu.
Puckaaaaaa!
>_>
Doesnt. Matter.
Okay?
No?
Does?
Really?
How?
Fuck You, you stupid little fucked up hysteric philosopher!
Dont you dare cross the conscious line.
Just stay there and die already.
Go.
The Fuck.
Away!
Theek hai?
Haan.
Bus.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Analyzing Paki Weddings.

[Disclaimer : This post is inspired by my friends wedding which I recently attended. Although Ive lost total and complete interest in the following contents I still have to post it so I can tell myself to 'shut the fuck up already' the next time something like 'ugh, my feet still hurt' comes to my mind. Its psychological, even I dont fully understand the complex fucks in my head.
Also, you may find extreme 'girly' particles in the post. Please forgive me if you bang your key board out of frustration because you cant punch the shit out of me by the end of this post. Thank you for your cooperation.]

Lets start with the parlors...The bride has to dress up alryte...but 4 hours? Seriously? You need four hours to paint your face? 4 hours to not look like yourself? Isnt it a lil too much?
Any guy reading this...Do you seriously want your wife-to-be to put an inch fat layer of 'base' on her face? I dont get it. Mutlab...thora ziada nai hai? Like...isnt that fake? When did this trend start anyway? I think the whole idea is stupid! Brides should be simple and au naturelle! Ziada pretty lagti hain. [By the way...sania ended up looking totally gaw-jus! It was like The princess and the Ass.]

Which brings me to my second point....Why are the girls attending the wedding expected to leave their hair open and wear a blood red lip color?
And when they dont, why are they continuously asked 'why dint you dress up?'
Also, why do girls wear sleeve-less and capries in winter?
And when they do, why do they think theyre looking really hot standing in the corner shivering?
Are they expecting Edward Cullen/Shahrukh Khan [depending on their mentality] to pop out of somewhere and lend them his jacket and brush their hair aside while giving them a sparkling kiss on their dry skin [they also dont like wearing cold cream and have cracks on their face]?

Coming to the Dulha...Now....theek hai youre nervous and its you big day n shit...but..can you please not be so gay asking people if the picture they took of you is awesome or not?
I mean...you already look stupid sitting on the stage like a baboon [no offense]...just..mind it..yea? Also stop finding excuses to touch your wife...shes all yours to fuck...just wait till you guys are alone, okay? Stop grossing out people around you. Yes...people...ya know all the fools who cared enough to show up at YOUR stupid wedding. Yes. Them. Theyre around you and they can see you!

______________________

I had to go to park towers, all dressed up, with my two cousins [who were more than just dressed up] an hour before the wedding to buy my friends sister a dress cuz she had nothing to wear. I am going to impale the next person who says Im a bitch to my friends.
I wore heels for 8 hours, its been 3 days and I still cant feel my feet.
The cute guy my cousin was flirting the night away with ended up crushing on me. No I dont have a point to prove here I just wanted to mention it.
*Evil Grin*
...
But Im not in teh mooooood..=(
Gawd Uzma shut the fuck up already...nobody cares!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

My version of Paradise Lost.

I tried to study and ended up writing this.
Now I expect you to follow some rules here..

1. If you like it leave an awesome comment, if you dont, fuck off, please.

2. I do not, I repeat, do NOT, entertain criticism.

3. Dont judge me.

Happy Reading!

Epic Shit.

Both the foolish sisters were cursed,
In their land disgrace dispersed
All the foolish men and sows,
scared away the baby boars.
Then the foolish men were sent
By their sows to search their boars,
Not once they thought of their king
Or that their kingdom might extinct.
They walked out of Holy Land,
Making castles out of dry sand.

The lousy sows now felt ignored
And were running out of hoard,
They wanted what the sisters had
In cahoots, they all went mad;
The king was easy to deceive,
He lynched the sisters just to cease
the madness in his kingdom,
He had but no wisdom.
The sows then outsmarting the king,
impaled his old wrinkled skin,
they then bathed in his dreary blood
Eating his flesh like royal pud.

But when the foolish men returned,
they were startled, they were stunned
They threatened to leave their Holy Land,
this time never to return again.
The sows then swore upon their boars
They will never again be coarse,
but they had something else in mind
And took their foolish men to unwind.

The foolish men were killed in sleep,
Their flesh the sows happily reaped,
a few days later, the sows wanted more,
ogling with love their baby boars.
They couldn't hunt, they couldn't run,
SO they drank their juicy sons.

Yeah!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

linger.

Im hungry.
Terrible headache.
Ever had a thing for headaches?
[Eliminate all logics here.]
Like sometimes you get one...and its like BAD...in your temporal lobe...but you want it to be more intense?
Like if the pain reaches a certain state [like that of saturation] it will become a tranquilizer?
And then you go in a trance and just want to feel every single neuron signaling the pain?
*moving back n forth*
.
.
*still moving back n forth*

Tomorrow my friends in-laws are throwing a huge lunch and I have to be there for her. My mum doesnt know Im going to the parlor with her before the thing. She wont allow of course.
Ugh.
I dont wana fuck anything up for her. Shes depending on me.
I dont like responsibilities=(
What if I pass out again..?
Cuz I kind of do every time Im in a crowd.
Kiaw yaar...
I feel nauseous now.
Mc Royale khana hai yaar...=(

Friday, December 11, 2009

fly n shit..

After pretending to be Aristotle for 2 days...Im so over epilepsy.
Likewhateverbetheshitman!

A very close friend of mine got married to a goo bag...whom she claims, she loves.
Hes..just...err...
Okay...is it just me or girls really become doormats after commitment?
Mutlab theek hai...you people are in love and all that yada yada magical jazz...just keep it in your room man!
Why do they have to go all..."jaan khana khaya..?" "are you feeling alryte baby?" "hehe...do you need anything..?" in public?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Like...what am I, pardon me, a chutia sitting there..?
THATS A TWENTY TWO YEAR OLD WELL BRED, WELL BUILT, HEALTHY, GHORA/GHORI YOURE COMMUNICATING WITH!!

But...whatever...as long as theyre happy...
But thats not what I had in mind...umm...but never mind...
I cant seem to process my thoughts aj kal...
*rests head on palm and pretends to faint*

eh eh eh

I kind of have a thing for my IT teach I think....
you're now allowed to shoot me.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

More on me....cuz I cant get over myself.

This one is just an extension of the last post since I got distracted by that lil future skank.
Yes Ive been talking about myself a lot lately...dont take me wrong...but I really just cant get over myself. As much as I hate to admit.
Ek to bhook lagjati after every hour...gekhh.
So Ive been getting all that extra unwanted attention since yesterday ryte..
I was just getting ready for my IT class...and my mum goes all..

"Kahan jarai ho?"

Me : "class.."

Mum : "kiu?"

Me : "Test hai.."

Mum : "Khana kha kar jao.."

Me : "its 2:40...3 bje class hai maa.."

Mum : "main nai janay derai phir.."

Me : *swallows some leftover*

Mum : "paani le lia?"

Me : "jee"

Mum : "main bhi chalty hoon.."

Me : "nai..."

Mum : "Acha main pick karney ao gi. Call karna ja ker.."

Me : "ta-tah Maa! "

An hour later I get her text...

Mum : "Uzma are you okay?"

Me : "hahah...Yes Im alive.."

Mum : "Shut up kuke (cookie)"

Me : "lunch mai kia hai..?"

Mum : "Mera kaleja (liver)"

Me : "nai khana.."

Mum : "As you wish"

Me : "Im done with my test. Ap pick karne kab ayengi?"

Mum : "Mainey luch karlia ap khud ajao.."

Me : "lol...okay"

Mum : "Sorry.."

Me : "Its okay Ammi jaan!"

I know I know. Cute.
And after going to the doctor I found out why shes being so emo.
What happened yesterday wasnt just a syncope...It was an epileptic fit.
EEG tomorrow.
Blegh.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

How to publically humiliate yourself.

Step 1 : Step outside of your house and go somewhere more public. Preferably a mall.

Step 2 : Pass out.

Note : If you wish to further intensify the humiliation, keep your eyes open while youre unconscious and shiver...that will totally freak people out and if youre lucky enough to have your mommy around...we're then talkin tears along with massive attention.

Ugh...
Ronay wali kia baat thi yaar?
Not like it was the first time. Ive passed out before. Happens all the time. Just...blegh.
My mamus daughter is here. I wana slap the shit out of her. I wana strangle her. I wana punch her guts out. I wana beat her up with a baseball bat. I wana cut her into million pieces and feed em to pigs. Shes bloody 10. Bhenchod STOP FUCKING WITH MY SHIT AND STOP HUGGING ME AND STOP KISSING ME AND STOP TICKLING ME YOURE NOT CUTE!! FAAAAAAAACK!!!! I DONT WANT TO GIVE YOU MY PENCIL OR A PAPER AND STOP FUCKING TOUCHING MY MOTHER FUCKING MONITOR. I HATE KIDS BHENCHOD.

AAAARRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!! KIAA FUCKPANA HAAI YAAAAAAAR!!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Yeh jo halka halka suroor hai...=D

Okay this is really getting annoying now.
My mum has been calling me Joshua ever since we saw that movie. First I thought shes just picking on me like she does...but turns out shes pretty serious. She thinks Im a lil psychotic like that kid.
She says I draw weird stuff like that kid, I used to be weirdly quiet as a kid, Im distant, hate socializing, and Im interested in weird stuff and I watch creepy shit, and she'll never forget how I was all crazy over 'cleaning out my closet'.
Well...yeah okay maybe I do but that doesnt mean anything!! A lot of people do that.
Last night my brother told me to turn off the lights in a very angry tone and I dint say anything so my mum went all..."Junaid...aesey nai bola karo...ek hi to behen hai apki...choti si, pyaari si, intelligent si, horror si, mujhe to darr hi lagta hai uzma aap se.."
Like...dude....wtf?
And then Hajira goes all.."Uzma mujhey tumse dar lagta hai you know...like youre creepy..bohat ajeeb lagti ho sometimes.."
Im not a sociopath....whatthefuckman!
Im adorable! Tell them Mariam how lovable I am...
How cute I am...and how you think I have the ability to turn someone one without even trying...go ahead...tell them...
Okay just in case she doesnt comment on this one let me speak for my self...
Im awesome!
Im the double chocolate peanut butter fudge cake!
Okay..?
You dont have to be scared of me just cuz Im obsessed with weird stuff...
Just...yeah....I believe in peace and love!
Yea!
I dont appreciate you calling me a queer.
It hurts!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Dont leave me High...

Okay..now Ive done some pretty stupid shit...but this ones really...umm..okay not that surprising. But yeah...I was just going through my last years political science notes...actually I wasnt reading the notes...I just like going through my stuff cuz I always write/draw some sick shit in between. Its very entertaining. Anyway...so yeah and there was stapler in my hand...and I dont know what happened...I was just like playing with it...like click click like I always do...and I kind of stapled my finger...and it hurts!


[Avoid the mehendi!]
It was worse than that time I got my neck stuck between a hanger..:\
Now now....dont be judging me....Im not as immature as I sound here. Just...I get carried away with objects...they interest me....a lot.

And this is what I was reading :

"I shall kill you and you shall die and be dead till morning when I shall kill you again and you shall suffer and live through the pain before you die each death. I shall resuscitate you for my pleasure and I shall continue the process till I am satisfied and it wont be soon. Once is not enough."

Funny yeah..? I cant even remember who I wrote it for. I must've been really pissed.
Anyway, seen Joshua...? the 2007 flick about this sick kid?
Its awesome.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Why Im so full of shit...

I went to college today after a long time to collect my notes and books and syllabus. The not-so-long-lost hatred in me was excavated by these moronic ardent naive admirers of regular bullshit.

Skank
: "OhmyGosh! that guy is sooooo cuute!"

Bitch : "no way hes ugly."

Skank : "yeah he looks a little sick but I love him.."

Space waster : "hehehehhehehe"

Skank : "Have you seen this movie [they were talking about 21]...these MIT students they like start gambling cuz theyre like so good at math.."

Bitch : "But... how..?"

Skank : "Theyre really good at math I mean c'mon theyre MIT students..."

Bitch : "What does MIT stand for..?"

Skank : "uh...I dont know..."

Space waster : "hehehehe"

Bitch : "You like edward cullins?"

Skank : "eeeeeweee...no waaye!"

....and just last year these brainless goo bags were all gaga over twilight.
And then you ask me why I dont socialize.
puff ponytails [or 'p-hugga' to quote mariam] bana kar they think themselves to be Tesla and Jolie ka offspring...stupid bitches!
Gawd I just wana slap their guts out!
Those idiot!
What the hell is wrong with our generation?
Absolutely no sense of anything. Second hand information per itna attitude! Like....dude....ugh...
whathufffff!!!!
arrrggghhhhhh!!!

Oh....by the way...heres a pic of a p-hugga:

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido.

Ever feel like everything was created, in this particular manner, at a particular time, in a particular place, just to piss you off if even for a moment...?
If you said yes to that, you need to get your head out of your ass and accept the fact that youre not that important [mocking self].

So my battery dies and I go all "awe man benchod this shit.." in a weird Negro accent.
Ive started saying that a lot and I dont like it. Need stop.
Once again, Amna and Sania, Thank you.

Nothing significant happening in my life...nothing worth mentioning...Bilal says I need to get out of the house, socialize, and get a life...but hes been saying that for the past 4 years...I might just actually listen to him this time.

Candida Blues

I was up till 4 am reading this kind of stuff...

Eugene : "I go about in search of love and find it in unmeasured stores in the bosom of others. But when I try to ask for it, this horrible shyness strangles me; and I stand dumb, or worse than dumb, saying meaningless things: foolish lies. And I see the affection I am longing for given to dogs and cats and pet birds because they come and ask for it. It must be asked for: it is like a ghost; it cannot speak until it is first spoken to. All the love in the world is longing to speak; only it dare not, because it is shy! Shy! Shy! That is the worlds tragedy."

"...It is one of amused tolerance most of the time, but she has a deep understanding of his craving for love and great respect for his feelings. She is not prudish enough to be harsh with the young boy for revealing his passion for her. Her unshakable loyalty to James will prevent her from ever exceeding the limit with Eugene..."

And I still have to critically analyze the characters and justify their respective decisions and critically appreciate the shit.
This is not happening!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Okay yes...I realize I need a life.
Blegh.
Tomorrow!
Pakka this time.
'nuff bullshit.

lol...and shes 19..:p

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Meri sab friends mujhey bohat gaalian deti hain.
Pata nai kiu..
=(

Bore horai hoona...please dont think im a loser? Please yaar=(

Me :
He sounds so saxay!

Rida :
Haina...and hes funny too. Oh and hes like 29..

Me :
wow...thats like...almost thirty..

-----

Friend :
*I had this disturbing dream a month back...[insert name 1] was making love to me. And he looks so amazingly cute today!

Me :
*OMG.
*Tell [insert name 2]?
*He can be so charming to look at.

Friend :
*I dint tell anyone.

Me :
*Its oki. Hes cute.

Friend :
*Still its not okay.
*Sesky back thi yaar!

Me :
*haha...a lil make out dream means nothing.

Friend :
*Not just make out...full on skin action.
*Thank God no effin scene.

Me :
*Aye haye.
*Awesome:O
*Maza aya?

----

Note : Our exams start next month!

Me :
Tumhara farm itna ganda kiu hai..?

Rida :
What?
Jee nai.

Me :
Haan hai!
Itney saray ghoray..

Rida :
I know...ziada haina?

Me :
Haan...Itney saray ghoray and billian..
Bohat bura farm hai.

Rida :
Jee nai. Mera farm acha hai.
Bakrian bhi hain..

Me :
And the hay bales..
Why do you have so many hay bales?
It looks like poop!

Rida :
Hehehe...wo expeirence barhanay thay..

Me :
And who gave you that idea..?

Rida :
Faseeha...she started when I started so *yada yada long story* isliye!

Me :
haha...your farm sucks.

Rida :
Jee nai...mera farm bohat acha hai..
Just cuz I dont have money to buy a bigger farm doesnt mean mera farm acha nai hai.
Mera farm chota hai but bohat acha hai dont insult my farm just cuz I dont have money. Tum baray farm walay aesey hi kartey ho.

Me :
Its not about having a bigger farm..
Its so unorganized!
Hay bales eveyrwhere..

Rida :
No its not. Merey ghoray ek jaga kharay hain.
I made them stay they used to be all over my farm.
please hay bales delete kardo?

Me :
hahha...nope.

Rida :
Please yaar kardo..

Me :
Main nai karai...do it yourself.

Rida :
I have to study...I dont trust faseeha shes gona read my inbox..

Me :
Oh yeah the messages..

Rida :
Youve read them..?

Me :
hehe...yeap..

Rida :
All..?

Me :
Yeah..

Rida :
Oh..

*awkward silence*

Cuz Im a creep and not a cool one.

Sir dard hora hai....bohat bura wala...in the diencephalon to be precise.
Just...okay..Im sorry everyone for being so bitchy.
Im sorry kainat for being so ignorant and never visiting you and leaving early every time that I do.
Im sorry sania for ignoring your messages...I do that a lot. Often ignore your calls when you need help. And Im sorry for all the other bitchiness. Sorry I wont be able to help you out with your assignment but I have to study for my exams and your shit is tiring.
I wana have an orange.
Sorry mom for never getting anything right and always doing everything so wrong. I dont mean to.
And sorry apia for that. Sorry for making you feel so shitty. Sorry I told mom. I just dint think it would turn out the way it did.
Mujhey aam khana hai.
Sorry afu, sumera, mariam (khan), urooj, Ms. Sumaya, khizer, arsalan, hajira for not replying just cuz I dint feel like it. Actually this one is for everyone. Sorry everyone.
And sorry Mohsina. Really am.
And sorry papa for not coming to wish you in the morning and then not having dinner with you cuz I was too busy watching some stupid shit.
And Im sorry for ignoring you so much creepy bald dude. You just freak me out.
And Im sorry you weird lady form my class for never letting you sit next to me.
Im sorry for absolutely hating the "eid mubarak" routine and avoiding it.
Im sorry I made you cry faizan but youre an asshole and totally deserved it.
Sorry urooj I made you cry in 9th grade. And sorry Shyan for ignoring your calls and you.
I know Im terrible.
Sorry wijdan for....I dont know...whatever shit.
And a huge sorry to myself for landing myself in situations so awkward all the time.
No matter how ignorant I am all this lil stuff just really bothers me at the end of the day.

:\

Also, sorry God for my partial apostasy.

*Please avoid this one, dont ask me questions, and move on. Thank you.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Pieces.

Okay..so..like...sometimes you think somethings really special and it turns out to be something not so special but rather ordinary....so..um...yes...okay...bad idea.
Hudd hoti hai!
Anyway...eid was lame. The usual.
Blegh.

Friday, November 27, 2009

*making weird faces*

I was just ironing my brothers shalwar kurta for tomorrow...Its chand raat and my mum goes all bonkers....cuz everything has to be perfect cuz Obama will be coming over for breakfast and Queen Elizabeth for lunch yea...gekh..
Anyway...so I was ironing his clothes and dude...thats a lot of cloth!
Khatam hi nai hora tha kapra...it was like 12 meters or something....took me forever. And my brother isnt even fat or anything...Hes rather slim.
Is it just me or was inventing 'shalwar' a really bad idea?
Itna kapra waste hota hai...I mean...its so uncomfortable...walking around with all that extra cloth in front of you...mutlab...kia batameezi hai?
I can make my peace with kurta...but shalwars are just fucked up!

I dont know WHY everytime my mum walks in the room something shitty starts playing...Like last night she came and suddenly rape me came up in the playlist...it goes something like
Rape me, rape me my friend
Rape me, rape me again...
And my mum was all "Ye kia behuda ganay sunti rehti ho..?"
and I was all.."umm...nai to..."
That was actually embarrassing.

And tomorrow, we walk out, in shambles.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

...

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Homosexuals,
I am proud to announce that last night I pulled my first Half All-Nighter of the year..
Thank you, thank you, please sit down, thank you.
*waves*
Also, you will be happy to know it was surprisingly quite pleasant. I had a ball studying and eating cheese pop corns [to which I added extra butter - which by the way is going straight to my ass] and big apple. Yes. I completed both the chapters on social psychology which covers 25% of my psychology course and 5% of my complete syllabus.
*sniff*
Thank you so much...I couldnt have done it without your support. Also I would like to take this opportunity to thank my brother for hogging the pc and being so dominating and sarcastic and pretending I do not exist everytime I asked him to get off the pc and mum for asking me to do annoying lil chores leaving me no choice but to take refuge in the drawing room with my books.
*wipes nose*
And tonight I shall pull a Full All-Nighter all the way till 7 a.m.....wait...no..cant...have to go to college tomorrow. But I shall tomorrow night, Even till we make the main and th'aerial blue an indistinct regard! O, let the heavens give me defese against the elements for I am spoil'd, undone by villains, helpless, a slave to Master Pleasure and Mistress Temptation. O, give me strength to bind with briars, my vain desires, and I shall succeed with my only retinue being my subtle intelligence and take over it, before it takes over me!
I now bid thee farewell my sweet loves.

I can be such a dramaqueen at times..
Runs in the family.
>_>
...
..
>_>
>_>

:p

And its almost 9 now.

So I finally sat down to seriously study. I mean about time. It was around 7:55 p.m.
I read the questions I was gona do and then went through the whole chapter...checked out all the stuff I underlined and read social facilitation and deindividuation for like and hour or so and then read all the topics of the next chapter and then I was thirsty and hungry and my back started hurting so Im like lets take a 5 minutes water break and I check the time, it was 8:05 p.m.
Those were the longest ten minutes of my life.
Its 8:35 and Im still on my water break. [Shut up all you pervs!]

Heres an interesting piece I came across while reading about deindividuation:

" the crowd is always intellectually inferior to the isolated individual...The mob man is fickle, credulous, and intolerant, showing the violence and ferocity of primitive beings,...women, children, savages, and lower classes...operating under the influence of the spinal cord. "
- The crowd by Gustave LeBon.

Yes Sirre. Agreed.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Nai parhna naaa...:(

Useless.

Ever wake up feeling like a total and complete...um...chutia, if I may say..?
Like youve been fooled...first by someone else and then unconsciously by yourself, cuz you couldnt possibly in your good conscience accept the fact that youre a foolish person?
Like youre caught in a conflict between your Id and ego cuz your super-ego is busy masturbating so you subconsiously indulge in some useless activity inspite of having the option of doing something productive, something that you should be doing not because you 'have to' but because the moment requires it for your own good, but you dont - because you can.
Did I lose you there?
Start over?

Ctrl+n

Ever had an encounter with the Inshallah-Mashallah-Clan? [IMC]
Well, if youre living in Pakistan you probably have. The country is full of them. So is it just me or are they really annoying?
Like the kind who are unable to form sentences without using atleast one of the following :

* Inshallah
* Mashallah
* Alhamdulillah
* Astagfirullah

And its not these terms that annoy me...its the context in which they are used. And the way they are used. And how theyre used when theyre not required. Like the speaker is this sacred divine being....like God's personal assistant or something. I mean...c'mon man...Im not all in-your-face with my beliefs now am I?
Just keep it to yourself....Your fake show of piousness doesnt impress me nor does it make you any superior.

What the fuck am I doing?
Im supposed to be studying.
Ugh.
aarrrrrghhh..
Next month exams hain and Im not prepared....and whos responsible? The government? IMC? Meera? Unconscious? Kaun? Stupid bitch. Fail hojao gi phir youre gona sit with this sorry ass of yours and blog emo pretending you dint deserve it. Go study bhenchod ye kia stupid blog kar key cool banrai ho..? Nobody cares okay..? Just fuck off. Go study!
ugh.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Lite janay wali hai at 9:00 pm sharp.
Bhenchod!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Glorious food - Part 2.

Guys who play farmville are so Gay.
Also I hate being referred to as a cool chick/hot chick/sexy chick or anything to do with chick. Im not a 'chick' and certainly not yours.
But fuck that. Ima blog about thing that really matter. Things that make me happy. Food.
I dont want to sound shallow but the best times Ive had in my life were not with a person but with food...or an object or with something virtual...not a human being.

Following are the best meals Ive had in the last 4 months. Best as in not in taste...but Ive enjoyed them enough to take a pic. Like...ate em alone with full and complete concentration. Enjoyed the taste of every single minute present particle. Oh and Im a very slow eater. I take very small bites and take me time to chew and swallow. I try to speed it up when Im with friends/cousins but still Im the last one to finish. Actually I scarcely finish my meals. Bleh.
So yeah...


This is the dry wali yellow dal with fresh roti made by me mommy and peri peri sauce. Now Im not a dal person. I usually skip meals when we have dal but this one was just awesome. And I took a second serving.


Chicken cheese steak. Now you cant see the steak anywhere cuz I ate it all. Yeah Im the kind of girl who orders a steak and finishes it. I know this is a little not me cuz I think chicken steaks are totally gay. Im more of a pepper beef steak person but this meal was just....divine.

And now, the real reason why I bothered with this post. The Bun kebab [or is it band kebab...I never quite got it. Both make sense to me.]


You see the coleslaw? It sucked. The ketchup - sucked! The bun kebab - eatable. Fries - pretty good. But I had a great time having it. Although my mum kept telling how nasty it is with the whole "Pata nai kia kia gandi cheezain dali hongi ismai.Ye bazaar waley itna kachra daltey hain. Ap kabhi banatey hue dekh lo inko to bemaar hojao gi" routine my brother and I have to go through eveyr once in a while. But, you see, I hadnt had a bun kebab in like years! I dont even remember the last time I had it. Well yeah we had it at sanias place when we dint have money but my mum doesnt know about that so yeah. Years it is!
But dude...heres the thing. It was for 40 rupees. Thats F O R T Y rupees! It was a guilt-free meal I tell you. Pure satisfaction!

And now, a meal that left me with guilt, regret, unfulfilled desires and an unsatisfied appetite.

*sigh*
Thats last nights zinger.
Kfc just never works for me. Just not my thing. Waste of money. Donalds is still acceptable.

2 zinger + 2 regular fries + 2 regular drinks = Rupees 610 * regret * nausea = Fail.

Oh, and this too.

Hot chocolate milk.
Yes, I can be a milk n cookie person at times.
I have trouble sleeping ryte...so every time I couldnt sleep I would go sit on the lil couch in the kitchen [cuz I sleep with my mum] have chocolate milk and read R.L Stine.
*sigh*
Good ol' days.

Ziada lambi post hogai. Oh well...now you know how much Im in love with these lil things. I can still go on but I wont.
So. Yes. End here.
.
.
Im so lame:\

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

o.O

I was just searching for my books ryte...cuz its 17th already I just have a month to study.
Anyway, so I came accross this wishlist Shyan made back in 2006 and its funny. So here it is.

WishList 2006 :

Shyann:

* Have a super sexy body [and shes almost there. Lost around 30 kg - No joke]
* Flawless skin [Fail.]
* Be a good kisser [Dont ask!]
* Super successful [Cant say now. Still time.]
* Go out on a date with Christiano Ronaldo [Ronaldo is no more loved by her.]

Urooj :

* Have a smart bosom n butt [Hell yeah she does!]
* Be a psychiatrist [On her way to be one.]
* Mathew Lantern. [Grew out of it.]
* Kill Amy Gonzalves [Our school principal. Long story.]
* Die peacefully.

Uzma :

* World Peace [hehe...yea still want it!]
* Put all the assholes in a torture cell and not let them die. [:\]
* Be able to pull my insides out without feeling a thing. [:\]
* Be dead already. [:\]

Fucked up, ryte? And I was 17 back then.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Fuck Yoouu!

[No, not you.]

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Brain freeze.

Ever been to one of those....umm..things...where some mullah tries to explain how bad you are at being a muslim and uses every possible example to make you feel guilty about being able to eat three times a day...?
Yea I think its a bad idea to use loud speakers in such a gathering for the following reasons:

Baby...you know that I miss you, I just wana kiss you
but I cant ryte now so baby kiss me through the phone;
Ye kia ajeeb ganay banatey hain loag?

Anyway....umm no I dont mean no disrespect..just my friend came so its 2 hours later now...:\
Who the fuck am I justifying this to..?

So yes for the following reasons:

* The preachers are often hypocrites [and sometimes pedophiles].

* It pisses off the 'unholy non-believers' and Uzma.

* By the end of it the speaker starts dramatising the whole thing and starts crying...in a very weird way....basically just howling....making everything rather ridiculous, giving everyone else a chance to make fun of them.

* People outside your lil gathering dont want to listen to you. So they usually just close their doors n windows and turn up the volume of their tv sets/mp3/or just their own voice in vain and end up cursing - because you, sirre, are giving them a headache. Hence, disrespecting religion.

Ive never been to one of them but I still know what goes on there...Know why? Go on...take a wild guess..

Like fine...do whatever you want alryte...'its a free country.' I dont have no issues with you people discussing religion. Just try not to bug the shit out of everyone else. And this goes for weddings too [No Im not comparing holy sermons with unholy music]. Im in no mood to go into details right now...but loud speakers should be banned. Or only allowed in non-residential areas. You know Im right!

Friday, November 13, 2009

she sharp!

I was just making notes the other day...solving questions from past papers...Whenever dealing with something like this I always reverse the order....I work on the last question first....cuz I can never get myself to solve the first one...its..umm...psychological. Anyway, so the question was something on social psychology.."Something something....also discuss the primary effect and regency effect on information formation."
So Im all..."...yeah okay primary effect the Ebbinghaus thingie...what the fuck is regency effect? We havent done that...or have we..? No I dont think we have...that Semen dint teach us shit....GAWD she sucks...gaah...so regent is like the substitute king dude so regency effect would be that of a substitute or something like that *insert lots of illogical visual thinking here*....but this doesnt make any sense...aaaaarrgghhhh I HATE HER. SHES THE WORST TEACHER EVER. Im soo gona fail. I dont know anything. I suck. She sucks more. Ugh!!!"
And then I took a three day break from studies...so when I read the question again yesterday I think...maybe its a misprint...its probably the recency effect theyre talking about...and it was the recency effect they were talking about, my love...

Its not the first time Ive blamed someone else for a mistake completely mine. But Ive learned to forgive myself. Because myself is who I have to live with. Deep. And its working out great so far. You just have to admit the fact that youre just like everyone else, give in, and let your unconscious build the armour. But. This isnt what I had in mind...=O

Need. Magnum.

Also we started C# today [and this dude kept lisping saying 'she sharp' instead of 'C sharp']...finally something easy. Something I actually understand. Visual studio is so much better than netbeans and textpad...I love you visual studio. You make me feel not stupid. Youre my crush of the day. Oh and my new teach has done something in artificial intelligence...I wish I had listened but I was too busy playing spider solitaire:\
...but I think Im gona like this dude!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Need. Magnum.

Alryte. Its time I came face to face with the truth.
How long am I going to hide it? Its time I made my peace with it.
You maybe surprised to learn this. But. Ready?
I...suck.
...
..
.
Yep...
*inhale*
*exhale*
Now I cant specifically list everything I suck at but take my word for it...Its a long list.
Also my playlist sucks. It basically started sucking back in nineteen.....umm...2006 actually.
Thats when I stopped downloading cuz I discovered all the cool things I could do with google.
['cool' does not involve porn.]
Anyway. Whats done is done. I shall live.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

- kia ajeeb cheezian dekhti rehti ho? Pagal hojao gi -

Every time I cant get myself to feel or care I think to myself "what the hell is wrong with me?" Hence, making 'myself' the current issue and discarding any other problem which might exist in the world. Thats my escape.
But. Dont you just adore winter? Like hoodies n sweaters n blankets n pillows n all death-like n dark n ice cream n chocolates n cold n quiet like weeeeeeeeeee....
:D:D <--[Exaggeration of emotions. Refer to post Bleh. ]

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
^ I find that really really funny.
You dont?
Awe man...:(

Urooj says:
Hey dude wat ya crackin up in the hizel ma nizel....;p

*sigh*
Dost hai meri. And I love her. Dont. You. DARE. Make fun!
I'll pull your lungs out of your mouth!! <--[Yet another exaggeration.]

According to this documentary "The Arrivals" - a detailed post on that later - Hitler dint kill jews out of pure hatred. There was a greater reason. Fuck the reason right now. But. You dont just wake up one day and question Hitler alryte...Insult!
Hitler did, whatever he did, for 'racial hygiene' and because he was evil and totally awesome.
[Your opinion may differ - Up yours!]

/likewhatevernobodycaresuzma/WELLTHEYSHOULD!/

So...I couldnt sleep the other night...well...I usually cant....but...that night I also couldnt think or feel and got extremely bored. So I started staring in the mirror...I was actually trying to scare myself cuz it was dark and late and the wind was making weird sound outside my window and it just wasnt creeping my out. So just yeah. Then I saw nothing. No hallucinations at all. Then i started thinking of exorcist wali images...and all the other creepy images...still nothing. Then I started playing with my hand like half my hand hanging down the bed and making creepy shapes with fingers like a witch...still nothing. Disappointment!

Theres more to the story but I just lost interest...

:\

Monday, November 9, 2009

Boo!

Its really sick how I compare my feelings for different people...umm...like..
Freud had Oedipus complex....umm...but maybe thats why he came up with all the brilliant shit that he did..D.H Lawrence had the same shit going on but I dont like him. He was lame...If I was in the world war two they'd call me spitfire..:\
Oh and the Freud thing had nothing to do with the statement above.
Okay. I cant seem to precess my thoughts in order ryte now.

Fail.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Okay. Its all funny now..:\

Shitness.

Okay. Wow. We suck. Humans suck alryte. Fine okay Ive said it a billion times...but its true.
Bleh.
yeah.
So...dude..like...how is this fair? How is anything fair? How do I know someone else is feeling shittier than I am..? Like...who gets to judge? I dont feel what the other person is feeling so how do I know...? How do I compare? How do I conclude? Just...okay this is shitty business alryte.
I say shit a lot...>_>
Its a substitute for every adjective I dont know. Bleh.
I love taking showers....Showers are The Shits I tell you...:(
Ugh. Again. I need to learn new words!
Okay this is not at all what I wana write. Too much rush...O_O <---[This isnt me]
Why cant I just transfer my thoughts in your head? Itna trouble to form sentences in my head and type and make sense...like...gaah.

Let's see if you can fit your feet
In my shoes, just to see
What it's like,
to be me, I'll be you,
let's trade shoes
Just to see what It'd be like to
Feel your pain,
you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see
what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

Now Im just using lyrics to cover it up...
Okay. Nothing happens unless you let it happen...or does it?
Know what... i'll just go ahead blame it all on the unconscious. Yep.
Everything is an unconscious effort for whatever unconscious reasons and Im not responsible since Im not conscious about it. Yep.
Disgusting.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Bleh..

I scarcely mean what I say. Okay? Stop believing me. About time...-.-
Just cuz I dont listen doesnt mean I dont care.
And just cuz I listen doesnt mean I do.

Anyway. I hate waking up. Waking up sucks, all you sunshine loving butterflies!
Yeah alryte its a new day...of course its a new you idiot. But its the same life you wake up to. It starts from right where you left it. Continuation of a lame soap and it just wont end. Well okay never mind that. We're all used to that. But the purpose of this post is just to prove that my mornings suck more than yours because somehow it will make me feel better or superior or so I think or some bullshit like that. Actually no. I just wana whine about how my ears hurt when I wake up so I was trying to build a plot here cuz you know I cant just go ahead type "oh my ears hurt when I wake up cuz they so damn small and cute"...naah...too obvious. Stupid freak.

I was reading about the medicine the doc gave me cuz I have so much of time to waste...and one of em is for asthma. I knew there was something wrong with my slow heart beat in the morning...I doubt if that has anything to do with it...err...lets start over?

Seen paranormal activity? Well..Its not as bad as it appears to be for the first 45 minutes. Just tolerate it for a while and it actually turns out to be pretty alryte. I mean I almost got scared. Thats huge. By the end of the movie I was actually exited. Loved the ending. You may not like the movie but its alryte. I dint feel stupid after watching it. Also I think scary movies are a turn on for me...:\

wriggle wigle

Okay....so youre waiting for someones text...and you wait and you wait...and finally your cell goes *beep* and you just couldnt be more excited and just jump out of your seat and eagerly unlock your cell and hit "view" and wait for 3 loong seconds for your cell to show the text because your cell is fucked up because you abused its memory...and then it turns out to be a message from ufone. Yeah that makes me feel pretty stupid. And then it turns into frustration which later turns into hostility against whoever is around me.
I hate you ufone. I dont want you to make me feel special alryte? Just stop sending me a million messages a day. Okay? Just stop it. Im a very efette being. I cant take it anymore!
Anyway...study. I cant get myself to study. I know i'll pass. Im so full of it. Too much confidence. Hate it. Gaah.
Have to find a job after my exams.
Prepare for CSS.
I dont think I'll make it through. Just. Bleh.
And so I have to collect back up money for my masters.
But. Psychology...I dont wana go to KU...*tears*

My maid talks a lot...>_>
I lose my concentration. Ugh.

You spin my head right round right round when you down when you go down down...Yeh kia batameezi hai?=O

Ever get confused with feelings? See. What are feelings without biological factors? Fear without trembling and that weird tummy aches and everything that follows..? Would you still be scared if you dint physically feel scared?
What is sadness without that hollow feeling..without tears..? How do you know youre sad..? How do you know that its not just your brain observing the situation which requires you to be sad and so its manipulating you into being sad..?
Like...umm....I cant explain...:s
Bleh.

Right round right round...when you go down down...cheap loag...=O

Friday, November 6, 2009

Need. Eat.

My winter playlist :

* With or without you - U2
* Fix you - Coldplay
* Mad world - Gary Jules
* Njosnavelin - Sigur Ros o.O
* Hurt - Jhonny Cash
* Thankyou - Dido
* In the air - Phil Collin
* Losing my religion - REM
* Sadness - Enigma
* O mio babbino caro - Joshua Bell
* Useless - Depache mode

I know. Gay. Shut up.
I hate reading between the lines and indirect communication. Its confusing. Youre left on your own, all alone, to figure everything out and doesnt matter if you get it wrong cuz theres no one to correct you. Its your perception and your perception alone. And then you perceives more than you should. And the shits. Blah.
Project. Have to study. Stupid...:O

error.

Dear reader,

The last post is actually post # 210, not 200. I apologize for the inconvenience [if there was any, which I doubt, not that it matters].
Thank you.

Regards,
Uzma.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Post # 200

Know how I keep ranting about people and how pathetic they are and oh how much I hate them...Ive recently become one of them. Just as pathetic, just as sick, just as low, just as stupid. Which automatically cancels my license to diss. I was not to become what I became, with this level of shame, my soul is possessed by this devil my new name is, the mistress, because Im in disgrace. A baby snake in a reticule. Thats me.

^ I wrote that yesterday ^

Today, however, I feel rejuvenated. Why? I dont know. I do whatever she tells me to do. She wont tell me no details. The bitch has been resuscitated. Who? My brain. But shes right. Always is. I love you brain.
<3

My new monitor is hot. Finally all the shits are black. Anyway. I wana blog. But you are blogging dip shit. Shut up. Sanias getting nikahfied by the end of this month. Im not happy sania. And you know why. But. Whatever. Your life.

I dont know why I enjoy taking taking name. Repeating them in my head again and again. Crocodiles are so handsome. Alligators are not as charming. I want a crocodile=(

Rida...crocodile for my birthday? Please?

umm...haan...bus..:\


Saturday, October 31, 2009

Dedicated to everyone who thinks afu is an angel..

Pu : Youre not coming to farewell?

Me : Nope

Pu : Youre a real party pooper so what you got oil in you hair wear a hat..

Me : Nah..I dunno..

Pu : You one fucked up person. Call Mariam.

Me : Dont feel like...Im watchin a movie..

Pu : Bleakh party pooper

Me : Oh c'mon...everyone else is gona be there...you'l have fun anyway..

Pu : Sicko.

Me : Weirdo.

Pu : Psycho.

Me : Dick Head.

Pu : Pickle head

Me : **** head

Pu : fucked up whore

Me : lol...

Pu : slut

Me : *** sucker

Pu : ew...bj giver

Me : *** face

Pu : You already said **** head it doesnt count, fat ass.

Me : Does too ********* brain

Pu : **** face, you online?

Me : No my monitor fucked ***** lover.

Pu : Coolness. Serves you right bitch.

Me : Whatever I have dvd's [something I dont remember]

Pu : Hoe bag.

Me : Doesnt count you already called me a whore..

Pu : Wait, what I call you in the last text, dweeb?

Me : Hoe..

Pu : I called you a fucked up whore...it soo counts doooefus!

Me : Whatever you ovulating Paris Hilton.

Pu : you ****** too bloody bloody *** ******

Me : You meera!

Pu : Dont talk wanmabe english drama queen.

Me : Whats a wanmabe?

Pu : I meant wannabe. Typo. Pee brain.

Me : WTF you think Im a wannabe?

Pu : Huh.

Me : Whatever man. You think Im a wannabe I dont wana talk to you..

Pu : Hey hey wtf...you called me *** sucker which I most certainly am NOT along with the other things. I dint mean the insult but if it pissed you off then good. Mission accomplished.

Me : You DO think Im a wannabe...***** *****

Pu : I never called you a wannabe I was refering to meera ****** *****

Me : Oh. lol. Okay. P.S. I took a shower way back at 8 Im coming tomorrow.

Pu : Awesome.

Me : Yep.

Pu : Wait. All that name calling for no reason?

Me : Killed time dint it?

Pu :Sure did.

....Afu is NOT an angel.




Wednesday, October 28, 2009

<3

Winter
Is
Hot!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Dear life,

Stop being so dramatic, please? You dont like me and I dont like you. A lot of people dont. Stop acting like a roadside whore and letting every passerby fuck you up.
Either let me live you in peace or just go away. Or yeah just go away.
You annoy me like a recently dumped sensitive girl.

Regards,
your subject.

Sunday, October 25, 2009