Friday, April 30, 2010


I have issues and I dont like to share them. Not because Im too cool but because theres nothing you can do about it and I dont want you to worry and I dont want your sympathy.
You have issues and you have my deepest concern. I want to help and I dont mind listening.
I know I sometimes get lost in my thoughts while you talk but I really cant help it. It doesnt mean Im getting annoyed I just really cant help it.
Can you please not judge me?
Can you please not label my behavior as 'carefree' or 'fucked up'? I hate being called that.
And I hate to be called 'deep'. Im not. Not anymore than you are.
Im sorry Im not 'in love' like everyone else but I really cant help it.
And Im sorry I dont want to be in a relationship but seriously, how is that any of your god damn business?
Can my sexuality and mentality not be questioned every time I say 'no' to a dude?
Im sick and tired of being alienated all the time.
And no, these are not my issues.
Like I said, I dont like to share them. This here is displacement.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ann Coulter Bin Laden

Does my blog look different?
It does ryte? But what...I cant tell.
Please let me know if you can figure it out:\

I have an Adam's apple but so does Ann Coulter. But she used to be a man so its okay for her I guess.
But I hate her. Shes crankier than I am on special days. But I probably shouldnt say that. But its okay since you dont really know me anyway. I mean its not like we're ever gona meet or anything. Which makes me want to practice my freedom of speech to the fullest. You see things are different when youre talking face to face. I dont know where Im going with this.
I want a secret blog. Wait. I already have one. Hah.
But I dont like it. Its all emo and waan waan boo-hoo. Nobody really wants to know the shit unless we talking dirt.
Dig? No? See...
shit = all the emotional trouble youre going through.
dirt = interesting gossip about a third person.
Get it? bleh.

By the power vested in me by this blog I hereby declare:

Death on Ann Coulter and Sahir Lodhi;
Torture on Zardari and the clan;
And a ban on Morning shows.
I got a job...^.^
I think...:\

Monday, April 26, 2010

Haider Abbas Rizvi is hot=[

Sunday, April 25, 2010

304 yaYy ^.^

This is how I talk myself out of things. This conversation takes place between me and me. Kinda Gay.

Kia yaar...
um...I miss..
Shut up. Shut the fuck up.
Okay lets reflect. Okay.
How do you feel...?
okay...what kind...any physical discomfort?
um..not really just...hollow I guess..
Like you have an empty stomach?
Yea sort of..
So youre hungry.
No...Im not hungry.
Okay other than that..?
Okay so any psychological discomfort?
You cant stop thinking?
Did you even try to distract yourself..?
I did...
Liar. You dint. You just want attention.
Whos attention?
Your own.
ahahah...yea that. I think Im hungry.
Exactly. Lets eat.

And I always end up looking stupid in front of me.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I got a feelin'

Sumera is coming on 28th :D
I be meeting Rida on 30th :D
I know what I want to study :D
Rida is getting married on 8th :D
I got a lot of partying for me to do :D
YaYy...I got my Happy back :D

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I want to be an orca=[

Know whats my problem?
I complain too much and secretly wait for a miracle to happen [and it often does happen:\]..
So yea...fuck that. I think I know what Im gona do.....but seriously fuck that.

Does Miley Cyrus remind you of an alien?
Every time I look at her I expect a weird deformed man to come ripping out of her body and say 'haha...fooled ya'....cuz....I mean...ya know....she talks like a dirty sewer rat is stuck down her throat and shes choking on it...and her shoulders remind me of pryanka chopra who reminds me of a middle-aged purple lipped Canadian man. And thats not exactly pretty.
I dont want my daughter to be raised in a world where people think Miley Cyrus is talented.

Ever since the restaurant thing my mum wont let me eat not-clean junk and its annoying.
Like...Im not allowed to have thela stuff and 2 rupees wala candies or order biryani...apparently they use meat of dead animals and and the spices are expired n yada crap. I mean...yeah okay....its probably true but you see....we - the paki's, are immune to it. I mean....90% of edible oil in this country is contaminated and the water we drink is far from being clean [even if you boil it] yeah....sush it. Our immune systems Rock. Okay? In fact...I think.....we're gona get sick if we eat healthy.

And...umm...yeah. Thats all.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I dont want the first line to be the title.

Its just sad how we make others believe something we're not sure about ourselves.
Things that seem so important at the moment will make no difference a year from now.
Its sad how people I hate will never know that I hate them.
Its sad how I will never ask questions that annoy the life out of me.
I dont know why Im friends with even half the people in my 'friends' list.
I hate how everything revolves around me on this blog.
Im not as pretty as I look in my pictures and I hate it.
I hate how I question everything I feel and make it look irrelevant and stupid.
Everything I was excited about some time back seem pointless.
Everything seems pointless actually.
I feel like Im shackled inside this box hidden inside my head..
It sucks how I've never been true to anyone my entire a very cool mysterious way of course.

I miss Rida.
I miss Sumera.
I miss my last year self.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Im really really bored.
Im watching heroes season 2 even though I hated season 1.
Its more of a status update than a blog post actually. Its just that I find fb shit rather lame and annoying....
Gerard Butler is the hottest thing next to Javier Bardem.


Dear God,

Been a lil rude havent I? But its okay yea? I're like God n all you understand ryte? I think I should officially tell you that I still believe youre out there....So yea anyway, sup? I was just wondering if you could send me some money? I really wana go shopping...I dont need anything just like that...ya know itsy bitsy useless crap...I also want that book 'what we knew' by Eric Johnson n all...I mean dont want it ryte away..just...whenever youre ready...I can wait. Or you can just get me a job and I get the rest myself...:\
And...if youre in a good about sending a cutie along? Just like a casual thing...if you want to...its totally cool otherwise..
And could you please take care of...umm...that thing..? I dont want to piss anyone off by saying no.
Also could you please take care of everything else? Im kind of tired and I dont want to. Just ya know....of course you do..Youre God.
So yea....Im planin to pray soon....catch ya later.


Monday, April 19, 2010

The alignment of the pictures is so fucked up...and yes I would rather blog about it than actually do something.



Aaj meri mumma ki happy birthday hai. Shes turning 38 for the 7th time.
I made her choco-brownie-coffee-mousse thing and believe me when I say...its awesome. One of my best. Im so adorable. And cute. No wonder all my friends love me.

I know its a lil gay buh c'mon...

Sunday, April 18, 2010


I like reptiles. And I think they like me. So when the shape-shifting reptile dudes take over the world I think I'll be able to get us a good deal. And this is why you should totally let me rule you.

David Icke looks like a porn star.

I find kaddafi kind of sexy. It has nothing to do with his looks.....just..hes sort of like this crazy-power loving-wacky dude. I like him:\

Ive been playing Zombie terminator [this gay ass game my brother invented when we were young] with my cousins since yesterday and I feel stupid.
Lite janay wali hai.

I cant believe Im saying this but I kind of miss arse's gay msgs.

I want your psycho, your vertical stick
- Lady Gaga

Gaga, you a hoe girl.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Get your freak on.

As much as I hate to share the elevator I want to hug everyone who holds it for me. Its very sweet of them.
I really desperately want to go to a good university for my masters. I dont even care anymore about the subjects. I just want to go to a university. Bus. Everyone I know either goes to one already or is going to in a few months. I, on the other hand, am broke.
If I want to go to a university [by the way I hate typing 'uni'...sounds\] I'll have to earn to pay the fees. I pauper. I know it doesnt go with my personality but thats the truth. I aint got no monneys....thats sad....cuz these gay ass bitches I know are going to an expensive one jus so they can get laid somewhere fancy. And Im not going for the interview. I dont want to be a TELEMARKETINGOFFICER thank you very much.
Kia yaar. I wana study.
I wana study liberal arts from Indus and MS in social sciences and economics from szabist and THEN I wana do CSS and go to Yale and become a professional cognitive psychologist and mess everyones head. This is shit. I hate you.

kiaaaa yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawr......uhun....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...
Shut up and earn it bitch.

Theres so much to do. Neend arai hai:\

Or I could just get married to that money making machine in Indianapolis.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Dont know why. this friend of mine is 'in love' for the very first time in her life. Shes 22 so Im kinda happy for her. But she lost her 'lipginity' on her first date...which is kind of fast but...since she came out late so I guess is okay....Uff Uzma its none of your business, give her a break...
But no really...I AM happy for her...and the rest of them.
All four of my oldest and closest friends are married now.
All settled...all happy....thats....awesome....good for them....its great...its jus me now....hangin around my blog....all alone....writing shit no one weird stuff no one cares about or wants to care about.....just here....You know Im really not that bad...I mean...Im pretty alryte okay...just a lil moody but pretty okay otherwise...But...yeah good for hem. I mean less rants for me to hear.
And THAT my loves, is called rationalization. I know. I suck yeah. I know. Just avoid.

But on the brighter side I got an interview call, which means Im totally ready to make fun of my first interview to which, I forgot to take my CV and I never heard from them again. That was...embarrassing.

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

I like Norah Jones=[

I want to go to Yale to study psychology=[

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I love.

I love watermelons.
They're so water-y n melon-y and tarbooze like. So Pretty n fulfilling.
And I love night sky.
Its so honest n dark. And alone.
I was just hanging upside down in my window. Though Im a lil old for that...kind of get stuck now that Im tall n stuff but its still fun.

Know whats cute?
My smile.
Its sad how we remain unsure of so many truths just because they're never said.
For many a time I've been half in love with peaceful death.
I dont want to go to Indianapolis.
Marshmallows are adorable.

Psychology practical tomorrow. And I shall waste time.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I want your ugly I want your disease.
I want a job too=[

My cousin ayesha ryte...shes 2. Very adorable and small and chubby and round and cute. So I was just baby talking her n all like 'awwe me chota baby cutie boobie' and my other older cousins [around ten years old] heard that...and now everytime they come and ayesha isnt around they keep sayin 'Uzma baaji where is your boobie?'

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sand people.

Why do companies come up with weird not-funny-nor-tempting-but-just-plain-stupid names for their products? I mean its not funny...its not creative...its just embarrassing for me to say.
But Uzma, why would that embarrass You? you may ask....Allow me to explain.
You see, I am one and twenty years of age chronologically, but sadly my taste buds are still very young. They ask for kid food. Now, Imagine a twenty one year old hot girl with a I-am-smarter-than-you-think expression on her face walks up to a sales dude and says 'ek lemon chaska de dain'...
That is not sexy. Not sexy at all.
And forget the gay lemon chaska...whats with love letters? Why would they name some wafer whatever that is 'love letters'? Why would they name anything that?
Whats wrong with these people?

Back in 5th grade, my friend kainat made me throw my hunter beef sandwich cuz shes allergic to beef. I want my sandwich back bitch.

Which reminds me of my awesomeness.

Peanut butter fudge cake.
And I almost baked that for my friends.
eh eh eh ^.^
No but I worries babies.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Jelly is awesome. Bus.

My mum snores.
My grampa' wears the sexiest cologne.
Jelly is Love.

What is love but a gay feeling.
What is marriage but permission to have sex legally with a selected partner.
Im not looking for any such experience, thank you very much.
Leave me alone now.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Trial post.

My papers sucked.
And I managed to look like a total luchie in that utanga uniform...Im too old for a uniform...but nevermind that. It was the last time anyway.
I forgot how to blog so please excuse the bullshit.
Dont you hate it when you cant think of anything to write while you try to explain some gay ass reference and the person sitting next to you asks for a third sheet?
What the hell do they write?:\
Check out this hot nude chick I made...

Mariam thinks Im a lesbian.
But Im not. Seriously=[
Im totally into guys.
Kasam se.

Is it just me or is Fauzia Wahab really stupid?
She reminds me of Seemen.
Both live in their own little world.
I got 90% in first semester and 44% in second. ehe.

Oh and turns out Im not a Ghaznavi but a Khan. Yup. My mum told me last week.
Just...yea. I'd rather not discuss that.
Welcome back ^.^