Friday, September 30, 2011

Psychoanalyze you becasue Im sexy and I know it. :\. :|. :/

So how are you?
Everything good?
Please know that Im only mentioning the following because I was asked]
I havent been blogging because OMG so busy with work and projects n the shits
Also, I finished FIVE dissertations in TWO months. Four for MBA and one for LLB.
Yea Im awesome like that.

And to make that awesomeness more awesome I will get permission to officially treat patients by next June.
Im also willing to perform premature analysis on you guys on request. More on that later in the post.
I want to rant first because i really havent in weeks.
And I still dont feel like it...dunno Ive become very "accepting of people" all of a sudden which is odd. Everyone seems like a patient:\
Im unable to have a conversation without analyzing personalities and identifying subconscious concerns of people in head.

I hate it when people ask me to help them out with their home work on a weekend.
Especially when I get a weekend off after TWO long fucking months.
That too for free.
Mutlab kia masla hai apko?
mai kia karsakty hoon agar ap stupid hain to?
I deserve a day off too you know.
Or three.
So these somebodies. Ive helped them out with their reports n shit a few times. And by help I mean did everything. And they got an A [for which I have yet to receive a thank you]. Now one of them want me to write some gay ass article so she can tell everyone she did it when it gets published in the magazine. And Im like do it yourself. And now Im the bitchiest bitch in the world.
About the premature analysis.
I was really pissed off cuz this head of the research department wouldnt accept my research proposal for the annual journal [which she later accepted] because it was done by me and not a PhD student. So I was like wtf :O
So I made this abstract crap which doesnt quite make sense. I mean it does to me but different people have been seeing different things in it. So since I dont have the actual Rosharch or TAT manual, I have been doing personality analysis based on that single image.
But I will get my hands on the real shit by the end of next year and I secretly scan them. That would be so totally awesome. As long as I dont get caught. Because then I will get suspended. I dont see what the big deal is since psychology students do that kind of shit all the time. Well, most of them. And I always tell people that they shouldnt believe what I tell them because Im qualified and theyre like "of course we know that" but then they end up believing every single word I say. Buh wahevs. If they're gullible enough.

So if youre interested in a premature false psychoanalysis, look carefully at the image below and write a short story about what is going on in the image, what had happened before, and what is going to happen next. The story must have a beginning, a middle, and an end to it and must be a complete story. Keep it short so I actually read it. Also write your age, gender, and something about yourself. Like a secret. Or something that you think has had a significant impact on your life. Whatever youre comfortable with. Comments can be made anonymously.

Also look at this image and briefly write what you see. This one does not have to be a story. Just write whatever you see in the image. It can be anything.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Remember how I used to have time to blog?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I gotapocket, gotapocket fullofsunshine.

One day, my brother was walking down the street and his cell phone got stolen.
The next day he took my mums phone.
The day after I was phone-partners with my mommy.
I believe in chain reactions.
I even did a whole dissertation on chain reactions.
I just wanted to brag about it actually.
But srsly!
Chain reactions. Theyre real!
I'll be working on the railroad, all the live long days.
I'll be working on the railroad, just to pass the time away.

I hate it when someone takes my phone....not that I have anything to Hide!!
Kind of...Hiding and not telling (to avoid a long discussion) are two different things.
Privacy bhi koi cheez hoti hai.
I aint happy, feeling glad I got sunshine
in a bag...only I dont.
Kia apko machar kaat-tey hain?
Mujhe to bohat kaat-tey hain.
Somethings are so difficult to type in urdu using english.
Like holidays. I dont like typing that in urdu.
Also, my humor is not dirty.
Now just because I dont like dirty humor doesnt mean I dont know it.
I've heard the dirtiest jokes, thank you Saniya and Amna.
They sound like fat, bald, perverted, drunk, Sindhi men speaking in Punjabi.
no offense to Sindhi and Punjabi speaking people. I mean...I dig Punjabi ayte.
I'd love to have someone translate Punjabi songs for me.

I'll probably have more interesting things to write once I go back to university.
I dont like to wait.
Its depressing.
I dont know why but i have this faint sweet taste in my mouth. I dint even eat anything meetha.
Tastes something like glucose. But lighter.
Do you liek glucose?
I love eating glucose.
It so cold and icy.
Back when my nani was going through her last stage of cancer, I'd eat all her glucose:\
You'd think that I was 6-7 years old.
I was 14.
Knew exactly what I was doing. Did it anyway.
Just took a shower, and Im sticky again.
I hate humid summers in Karachi.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Old, bored, and alone.

Eid sucked.
So this dumb bitch who cant spell shit, and is also cheating on her fiance with some kid (who doesnt even know that she's engaged), comes up to me and gives me a lecture on how immoral it is of me to write thesis for students. Well, she was just getting back at me (in a very friendly-funny fashion) for correcting her grammar on facebook. But it really pissed me off. I could've said a lot but dint want to stoop down to her level...Also she would beat me up if I pissed her off o.O
Kiu kartey hain loag itni bari bari baatain?
Also, people should really brush their teeth first thing in the morning. Whether its eid or not.
All my friends and cousins are married. All of them.
I mean okay. Your life. But do you absolutely have to be in my face with you susral n shit?
All of them had to either go to their susral or out with their OMG Shuch Jaanu Baby Paalu HUBBY like awwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnn awwwwweeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn aaaaaafuckineeeeennnnnnnnn Motherfffkkkkkggrrrrbleghhhh!!!
I only got to meet them for like 2 hours. Which they spent dressing up for the significant other. Though we were all dressed already. I only spent 2 hours of my eid with people my age, that too straightening their hair. I thought i'd do something too, but then I realized that I have to go home and work <_<
Dil chara tha paani daal du sab ke straightened baalo per!!
I dont want to sound like this creepy jealous lesbian girlfriend (which I already did) but CUHMONN!! Is there absolutely nothing else to life?
Whatever happened to sneaking out on eid when everyone goes for a nap and fooling around and eating ice cream till you puke!!
I dont want to grow up. I dont want to get married. I dont want my life to be all about everyone else and what they like.
So born in the wrong house at the wrong time in the wrong country.

If you're single, smart, ambitious, give a shit about education, and have issues other than the following:

1. s/he doesnt like me when...
2. s/he wont let me...
3. what should I give him/her on....

Give me a call. I am now hiring new friends.