Sunday, July 13, 2008

okay dis is waaay too losoronic!!!

.............as pathetic as it is....(writing a blog noone reads).....ima doo it anyway..
but the problem is i dunno what to write...im sooo freakin empty....soo apathetic....and i know why but waay too mych of a sissy to tell (or write).....dunno what im afraid of....hate myself for that!
am i glad noone knows that i hav a blog.....lol....no i dint laugh...or smile....buh im jus soo used to writing it to avoid the seriousness of the issues. thats what i do - AVOID! as much as i can, as long as i can....till my head starts pounding soo had i can feel mu cerebrum expand cuz the fluid inside is boiling and the steam is collected and its filled with hot air, and my heart starts weighin a tonn evry single breathe takes a billion carolies....and all my blood starts collecing in my eyes and feel like the pupil is jus gona pop out and my eye will jus slide down my face thru my burnin cheeks and lips.....which get soo numb from burnin i have look in the mirror to believe dey still on my face.........then i become half unconscious and pretend im sleeping....till im fully unconscious,,,,but the tears wont stop......dey run down my eyes to my ears (cuz im lyin down, the law of gravty comes in)...thats the worst feelin.....wet ears....lol......no i still dint lauf cuz its all tru.....its jus not funny when its tru!

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