i dont know why she makes me soo uncmfrtble...shez not suposed to...she doesnt mean to...but she does.
or maybe its jus me...i dnt know why i feel soo bad...and guilty...its dis sinking feeling...the feeling that u ahv no lungs...dis hollow empty space..full of vaccum...vaccum which cnt be filled.
i blame everything on her...da way i turned out...dis shit lil me...always scared of doing everything..always tryna hide sumthing...this feeling that ive dont sumthing wrong...sumthing i shudnt hav done..
i cant be happy cuz im suposed to...cuz i dnt deserve it....cuz her misery is my fault...and its my fault if shez not happy so i shudnt be happy...dats sumthing i shudnt feel...pata nai..
why do i start to write in the first place....it ends up in a nothing anyway..
im scared all the time..like i am ryte now....like im doing sumthing wrong typing this...and im so damn opposite in appearance...everyone ticks me off...EVERYONE....i ahv sumthing against em all...i dnt deserve all dis..no frnds...i deserve everyhtin elz though...all the shit.....dunno why im never cmfrtable around em...like im doin it all wrong...and i only get dis one chance...

i jus....HATE my damn self!!!!!!!
i cnt write...i cant talk abt myself evn in fron of a nobody...so damn lost...all over place...i do it my way still its not wat i want...i gues i jus ask for the wrong things....everytime i feel sick its me being scared...cuz im doin it all wrong....living it wrong...saying it wrong....giving away the wrong information and the wrong meanings....leaving the wrong impression....i jus shudnt be..
just feel like cutting my face...lots of times...
itsss.....pata nai.
yeah i dont feel better at all!