Saturday, December 13, 2008

i dont feel like writing here nomore......its soo public now...
ACHEEW***
i feel sick - i am sick....i HATE fluu...headAche....*ACHE-AcHe-AChe-ache*
Liar-liar-pants on fire, everyones a liar...yeah me too...but im more of a manipulate-r, like i dont lie n shit...jus dont tell the whole truth...u know whats dead? my innocense.....know what else is dead? the tru happiness....not jus mine...everyone else's....some shit with everyone!! as we grow old we get more complex.....everything which seems simple suddenly is this complicated shit like shit. Why? everythings soo bleak...but whats wrong with that?
i myte be called mentally challenged for sayin this but i dont completely hate being sad...infact being happy makes me uncmfrtble...jus waiting for some shit to happen so i can breathe...here we go again outa my medicine outa my mind and want in urs let us in or IMA KILL YOU!!
oh look at me im a stranger to happiness...no dont be sittin there pity-in me whoever said happiness was the aim n all o life? who decides the fate? not me...defintly not YOU!
these are all emotions...like bodily changes...okay lets not get psychological here BUT if someone doesnt like being happy and really likes exploring sadness and enjoys the il pain and the headaches which make all ur senses soo alert...like ure ALIVE...so much in touch with sound...evn the sound of nothing...that THUD in the head...the hot blood collecting in the lips and feelin all ur veins come to life...ALL of them havin gushing blood flowing with the velocity of a rocket....the fingr tips sooo sensitive....evn air seems to have weight on the skin....like ure ALIVE...
so yeah what if someone likes another emotions more than just happines?
NO im not a sadist!!! Insanely against violnce....but as far as myself is concerned...being happy makes me uncmfrtable.....*siGh*