Too bad its a fruit cake..

But anyway...

I want to publicly humiliate a fellow blogger being because he has been annoying me for more than three years now. But I dont want to because its not Ubee. The ratio of milk and Milo in my glass is not proportionate but its too late to do anything because I'm almost done with the damn thing. Anyway. Back to the annoying blogger dude. Well a couple of his friends read my blog at times I think and I dont want to offend them...umm...But I dont mind offending them. But its just that I'm gona have to talk about all that which I dont want to. Anyway. So I wont be blogging about that attention seeking hypocrite.

I want to have halwa puri. Everyone's asleep. My timings of life dont match with anyone in my house. When I wake up everyone else is asleep. And when they wake up its time for my nap. And then I wake up when they're all taking a nap. And then I go to sleep when their fun time begins. So yeah. Oh and its their routine which is odd, not mine. But its kinda fun. That way I dont have to avoid any human contact. It automatically becomes impossible to communicate. I hate communication. And confrontations. Even though I believe that proper communication gets rid of half the problems between individuals. I also hate paper work. Filling forms and submitting and attaching all the documents and all that unnecessary crap they make me do.

There are so many people I'll have to hire for myself. How am I going to pay them all? A butler, a lawyer, a personal assistant. Its 10:20 am and the whole city seems to be asleep. No ones online. No one ever is before noon. Anyway. I love men people in uniform. Especially the navy ones. Have you ever seen them? They're adorable. Dont even want to imagine what their uniforms look like soaked in blood.
Anyway. I came across this movie, The Super. Some German flick I think. Not the funny one. The creepy one. There's this old creepy dude and his fat old creepy wife obsessed with human organs. And then they find people and cut them open and feel their intestines n all. Creepy shit I tell you. Left me with a weird feeling. I've realized that I no longer have a taste for gore. Though the creepy serial killer stories still amuse me, I avoid watching them. Reading is fine. But if I'm fine imagining all the gore why am I not okay actually watching it?:\
Oh the complicated machinations of my mind. I <3 Patrick.
I also dont like using words like shit, fuck, and slut anymore. I still say it. But in my head I'm all "that dint sound too good" so now I avoid saying all that. Crap is still fine. I'm afraid I'm turning into a lady.

Hate Post.

I've been trying for over two years to NOT do this publicly since we're related but..just...whatever.
My cousin Amna. Know my cousin Amna? Yes. Her.
There are many people who annoy. I've known them all my life. But She is the only one who makes me want to put myself on fire and scream and run on the road and die.
Know whats more frustrating?
I cant explain what it is about ehr that annoys me.
Im just really out of words when it comes to her.
Where do I even begin?
Okay. Fuck real life. We only meed once a month. And we have fun. Shes funny. But.
B.U.T. Okay. Never mind life. Lets just stick with facebook.
You know I've actually blocked her from my newsfeed because her annoying statuses and comments and likes and pics really ruin my day. Like they actually put me in a bad mood.
I know dont know how she does it.
Just. Okay. Lets begin from her status updates.
Oh and in case you're wondering why Im pissed off suddenly...Thye dint visit for a while so i thought I'd say 'Hey' but I dont feel like having a conversation so I decided to drop a hello on her wall. And now Im pissed off.Here's a list of her recent fb statuses. Oh, also do notice that all these updates took place on the same date.


Now...you may ask. But all the dumb bitches do that, what is so annoying about this particular one?
Allow me to explain.
My cousin Amna. What can I say about my beautiful cousin Amna.
Shes not dumb. Nor stupid. Quite sharp actually. A quick learner. But you see. When you combine sharp with benightedness [Yea I had to google that one], you get an Amna. I really cant think of anyone like her:\
How do I explain her personality. Rather personalities. Okay Im not gona get personal and talk about her vanity and secret evilness that she herself is not aware of. Nor am I gona comment on her selfishness and narcissism.
Its just that...she has asked a lot of question in the past few years. Here are a few examples [Im seriously not making these up]:

What's a do-chi? [douche]
You people study about the rapists? [therapist]
What does 'up yours' mean?
What's a doody? [Dude]
What's a dodety? [Dudette]

Okay I think of all the stupid things she asks me...but here's a conversation I had with her about two years back [We were 20].

Amna: Uzma...Why do you tear the pages of your calender?

Me: umm..what am I supposed do with them?

Amna: You can use the calender next year...itna acha to hai..

Me: ahahahahahahha....

Amna: What? Im serious...If you dont want to use it given it to me...

Me: You serious?

Amna: han mujhe de dena dont tear the pages.

Me: o.o

Im seriously not making this up. It actually happened. And there are so many things. I cant remember much right now. But you have a little idea about her now right? No scroll back up and read her status updates...

Yeah. Also, she begs me to comment on her status and pics and shits and asks me to like shits and then she uses my phrases and acts like hot shit but I dont care about that. Its just that. She pretends to be so cool in front of people. And you point it out she makes a joke out of it and makes it all haha. And then she uses big words and is continuously trying to make me look bad cuz I point out her oh so obvious grammatical errors. And puts up all my bad pics and then comments like hot shit. Just. And asks me how to reply to a person who uses words that have more than 6 letters. And she doesnt even know the difference between words and letters. ANd then she claims she knows me inside out. ARRRGHHH. Shes just so annoying at times.
But I have a good time with her. She's hilarious:\

Just decreasing the quality of the blog.

I feel freeeeee ^.^
I like friends.
Friends are awesome.
I have so many things coming up in the next three weeks.
I'll be able to extract the funny out of all the events once they happen.
But for now.
A friend of mine is quitting. Says she cant handle all the pressure.
Says wont be able to handle Maths and Economics. And Im like :\
Cuz the shit we study is easy as a tramp.
She just needs some motivation.
I would've done something about it but Im really tired of texting.
So Im gona give her the weekend. Hopefully she'll change her mind.
Otherwise...well...I still dont feel like advising n shit. None of my business anyway.
My real problem is that now I dont have a project partner.
Blah de bleh bleh.
Also...aj kal thora hypersomnia sa hogaya hai.
But the problem is...dil nai chata sone ka:\
Which is very odd given that I dont enjoy being alive.
Yawn.
Project Partner needed. Just for the sake of it.
I'll be doing all the work of course.
Yawn.
Also...where are all the people who used to be around? Insane. Meow. Richa. Roshni is still around. Her name is Rabia :O
Hope it wasnt a secret:\

Story Time. Non-Fiction.

Im a terrible person.
Intimacy makes me sick.
I sat next to that bitch. She wasnt as bitchy as I expected her to be.
All the students of third semester hate me. They have their reasons.
A lot of their marks got deducted cuz of me.
Why do people take feelings so seriously?
Something so temporary shouldn't be given that much importance.
I do terrible things to people just cuz Im bored.
People should know better than to trust me.
Rida keeps talking about karma.
I think Im its next victim.
But then again, life hasn't always been awesome so bring it on bitch.

Getting close to people makes me sick.
Something's seriously wrong with me.
I always kick away genuine awesomeness coming my way and then close the door behind it and lock it and let the awesomeness knock its knuckles out till its flesh is smeared and the skeleton turns into dust.
I are so fucked up up there.

I dont like people who try too hard to be funny. And sensitive people. And needy people. I really hope I dont turn into one. Im tired. I dont want to sleep. I've done something really cunningly stupid and bitchy. Simply because I dint have anything interesting to do.
And that's why I dont like being free. I shouldn't have taken the month off. I always end up doing something stupid and someone always ends up getting hurt. And then I have to hurt them even more to make them feel better.

Say I shoot you in the knee and then say sorry I must leave now and then you beg me to stay and Im like...I dont want to hurt you anymore and then youre like please stay and Im like dude...blood makes me sick and you're confused because it was my idea to throw in some blood and you're like But Im hurt so I feel bad and Im all Okay Ima pull out this bullet now and youre like but theres no anesthesia oh wretched one and Im like 'dude...I've doen this before and youre like no dont touch it Im fine just please dont leave me alone and then I have to tie you down but there are no ropes so I have to use a hammer and nails to pin you down so you dont move and pull out the bullet with pliers and youre screaming and Im ignoring cuz I know you will feel better eventually but you just want it to end and just when you think its over I take out a needle and thread to stitch back the wound and you're like Why are you doing this to me? Im like dude...please...stop being so dramatic and then I fix the wound and leave and you're left with is a scar and hatred.
Yea. That pretty much explains my past week.

Also, I dont like friends who ask for too many favors, no matter how small, too often.

Deprivation

I was gonna write something really funny but I'm tired.
You shall now be deprived of my funny.

I did a paper on deprivation model once. Paid well.

Mob Behaviour.

You know what I hate?
Loud fancy charity crap.
Its all over the place.
Charity mela, charity dance party, charity liquor, charity movie night, charity nude show.
An excuse for everyone to party like like theyre fighting a war.

So theres this Self-Righteous Princess of Pretentious Ville that I know. I think we all know one of those. You know the kind of person who just deserves to be in a better place and just knows better than everyone and knows everything thats wrong with the world and how everyone is not doing things right and has standards that just cannot be matched by anyone...especially a paki?
Yeeaaa....Ima punch her one of these days. But shes like a bit athletic so Im afraid she'll punch me back:\
I mean...even when shes having a normal conversation its like shes giving a presidential speech...and she never smiles...shes actually an IBA rejectee...if thats a real word. Must be hard for her to adjust in Bahria...but c'mon...get over it.
Itni annoying lagti haai....Id mimic her for you if I had a cam. I do it so well...makes them laugh every time ^.^
Also, I have a very...diverse sense of humor.
So back to the Princes...well...thats about it. Theres not much to her besides her smugness.
I guess thats all:\

Serious rant. Ignore.

Know how I always start things I have no intentions of finishing? And then suggest things I have no intentions of doing? And then lead people into believing silly things that I dont believe myself? Yeah I should probably stop doing that.
Anyway. I dont have anything funny or interesting to write so now is the time to stop reading.
Ive been in a weird state. Not myself. All nice and social.
I made FIVE friends last week. Good friends. I dint make that many friends in my whole life.
And there are at least 3 to 5 people attached to each one of these five friends.
So just imagine the number of times I have "hey" and "sup" on my way to the class.
Being social makes me sick.
But I dont have a choice cuz you need at least one friend in each course so you can ask for help or whatever or project shitty crap shit. Crappy shitty poopy de poo. Shitty crappy bloody shitty poop. Poop filled shitty crappy shit. Shitty de crappy de dung poo. Dung de poopy de pooy crap. Yeah thats whats going on in my head.
I hate this dissociative state more than depression.

On a brighter note, we're going to giddu poo (giddu bandar) on Saturday. That mental asylum in Hydrabad. I understand if you dont exactly see that as the brighter side. But I cant wait to go. I think it'll help me get over my pathetic self. Ive heard that the last they went..most of the students went mute for a week. Im sure they're exaggerating. But whatever. I might even stay back if I get too many sketching inspirations. I could use some right now. Oh Boo Hoo Uzma get a fucking life -.-

*Also, I found this piece of shit that I really like:

If the sun came out from behind me,
Would you look at my shadow or me?
If the person you saw was dressed in rags like me,
would you remember me?

If the colors of lie had faded
from your mortality like life for me,
would you rather die or become like me?

Now it is time for the sun to set like it has
for me,
would you stay here, here in this abandoned world of souls,
or leave like me?

Forced post - cuz Im afraid it'll fade away

I feel stupid putting up with all this.
I need to lash out on someone.
I dont have time to sketch it out.
Itne koi annoying loag haina.
And Im so much more annoying.
But its okay because Im easy to ignore since Im not loud or all over the place.
They're so happy.
Why is everyone in my university so happy?
What are they so happy about?
They're at Bahria not Harvard.
And yet there is at least ONE individual in almost all my classes that I am jealous of.
So theres this girl right...shes one of those people who think they're doing humanity a favor by existing. Anyway...shes annoying. Now now...its not just her smug walk. Thats not reason enough. We had our Management presentation bla bla bla and guess what she did? She took someone's thesis from the internet and just made her presentation on that...and here I was doing my own damn research making my own damn hypothesis coming with my own fucking solutions. But that was Okay. Until. One day. The marks were announced. I got 4.5 (out of 5) and Im like...yeah Bitch top that...and then suddenly she got 5.
Plagiarism bhi koi cheez hoti hai.
Yeah. So now I hate her.
Also there this other umm...not a bitch. Shes not even stupid. Just. Um. Damn I cant think of anything clever and insulting:\
Okay i'll write about her once I know what to call her.
Now I have to study for my exam tomorrow.
Stupid mids.
Stupid bio.
Stupid fancy ass terms in bio.

*Also, do notice my fb hotness.
**If you find it absurd, refrain from expressing yourself.