Saturday, April 23, 2011

Hate Post.

I've been trying for over two years to NOT do this publicly since we're related but..just...whatever.
My cousin Amna. Know my cousin Amna? Yes. Her.
There are many people who annoy. I've known them all my life. But She is the only one who makes me want to put myself on fire and scream and run on the road and die.
Know whats more frustrating?
I cant explain what it is about ehr that annoys me.
Im just really out of words when it comes to her.
Where do I even begin?
Okay. Fuck real life. We only meed once a month. And we have fun. Shes funny. But.
B.U.T. Okay. Never mind life. Lets just stick with facebook.
You know I've actually blocked her from my newsfeed because her annoying statuses and comments and likes and pics really ruin my day. Like they actually put me in a bad mood.
I know dont know how she does it.
Just. Okay. Lets begin from her status updates.
Oh and in case you're wondering why Im pissed off suddenly...Thye dint visit for a while so i thought I'd say 'Hey' but I dont feel like having a conversation so I decided to drop a hello on her wall. And now Im pissed off.Here's a list of her recent fb statuses. Oh, also do notice that all these updates took place on the same date. may ask. But all the dumb bitches do that, what is so annoying about this particular one?
Allow me to explain.
My cousin Amna. What can I say about my beautiful cousin Amna.
Shes not dumb. Nor stupid. Quite sharp actually. A quick learner. But you see. When you combine sharp with benightedness [Yea I had to google that one], you get an Amna. I really cant think of anyone like her:\
How do I explain her personality. Rather personalities. Okay Im not gona get personal and talk about her vanity and secret evilness that she herself is not aware of. Nor am I gona comment on her selfishness and narcissism.
Its just that...she has asked a lot of question in the past few years. Here are a few examples [Im seriously not making these up]:

What's a do-chi? [douche]
You people study about the rapists? [therapist]
What does 'up yours' mean?
What's a doody? [Dude]
What's a dodety? [Dudette]

Okay I think of all the stupid things she asks me...but here's a conversation I had with her about two years back [We were 20].

Amna: Uzma...Why do you tear the pages of your calender?

Me: umm..what am I supposed do with them?

Amna: You can use the calender next year...itna acha to hai..

Me: ahahahahahahha....

Amna: What? Im serious...If you dont want to use it given it to me...

Me: You serious?

Amna: han mujhe de dena dont tear the pages.

Me: o.o

Im seriously not making this up. It actually happened. And there are so many things. I cant remember much right now. But you have a little idea about her now right? No scroll back up and read her status updates...

Yeah. Also, she begs me to comment on her status and pics and shits and asks me to like shits and then she uses my phrases and acts like hot shit but I dont care about that. Its just that. She pretends to be so cool in front of people. And you point it out she makes a joke out of it and makes it all haha. And then she uses big words and is continuously trying to make me look bad cuz I point out her oh so obvious grammatical errors. And puts up all my bad pics and then comments like hot shit. Just. And asks me how to reply to a person who uses words that have more than 6 letters. And she doesnt even know the difference between words and letters. ANd then she claims she knows me inside out. ARRRGHHH. Shes just so annoying at times.
But I have a good time with her. She's hilarious:\


x said...

She's young, somewhat attractive and bitchy. Not unheard of among college underclassmen. Here's a simple solution: get some your mellower and more mature friends together for dinner, invite her and wait for her to put her foot in her mouth. Simple.

Richa said...

^.^ Above person is so wise. Seriously, I'd never have come up with such a sane suggestion.
I'd just fume and grind my teeth every time that cousin opened her trap. :|

Amara said...

Im sure she knows you feel that way (after reading the linked post on her) and still lets out questions to you that are obviously too dumb (read innocent read annoying). Seems like she's pretty comfortable opening up to you.
On the other hand, families generally consist of people with extreme views and peculiar behaviours, and if you really observe you'll realise there might be someone in your family whose habits and personality is completely opposite to your's. It's nature wierd way of balancing the our network of kins.
Apologies for the long comment.

quartertoinsane said...

hmmm... jst chill

KWP said...

oh. i have a cousin exactly like yours. yep. she copies awl what i say to be cool o.o