dance foeveaaaa.......and ev ev evaaaaa

i hate the starting and the ending parts...of everything....its soo awkward!
mostly i dont know wher to start n how to end...it never seems ryte...
be it writing anything or meeting anyone or a call....weeeeeeeeird!

anyway...sometimes i dont like to understand...i end up understanding everything...all the lame reasons.
i just dont want to....just ONCE i dont want to understand why someone acted the way they did! im sick of the reasons...dey all have em.
theres always a reason and i always understand it...i dont want to:(
i HATE zardari.....kutta sala!!!
and i dont like watching or readin news....makes me angry:@

main jugni daa sajna jugnii...oooOOoOOoOoo....:s
mainu jhoot bolkey jaandi aaai...phir jhoota mainu banadi aaai...oO

soo my IT class dint totally suck today...i think im getin used to it. tomoro i hav an almost 3 hr long psycho ki class....:|
ive made it thru ALOT but im not sure if i can get thru this one...:s
i hate colleg now.....not a sigle class i look fwd to....is...baaaaghh
stupid machers.....if only dey were zardari's pants.......ehehehehehehehe
*sigh*
aaaaaaahh....im...aaaaa......laaammeeeee........aaaaaahhhhh

this is bullshit...i dint evn ask for anything....bloody fucktards!
this is toooo fucking much!!!
HATe it.....everyone...sumtimes i REALLY question existance..
dunno what bullshit they upto...
im really loosing my selfcontrole now....im like...on the verge like...on the edge...grr...
i hate it wen i cant control my body!
i jus wiped my eyes with my nosy tissue:@:@

i was not to become what i became...

and im sick of the stupid wishes....BACK the fuck off!!! im sick of replyin to all dese msgs on fb!
i dont give a SHIT! the whole idea of birthdays is stupid......
..........i dont ask for SHIT....like ANYTHING.....but noooo.....dey jus have to go out of their way to fuck it all up.....
nevermind!
sick im so SICK....and i hate it how noone ever figures it out.
*sigh*
im blue daba-de-daba-dae
oh well...it was nice to get all those wishes:)
NOT.... lol....im bipolar!
the day is gone...like FINALLY...im hungry...n tired....and pauper....to sum it up im a paki!

soo.....im oficialy 20....

I made it.....alive...lol
like....i thot i wont make it past 18....buhh i did. *jOy*
I wana skip tomoro......ugh.
I hate wishes n shit.....like whats the happy part?
blagh...
what ws i thinking racing all those sperms 21 yrs back...what ws i thinkin?
*lets go chek out the world the rainbows sound soo pretty*...heh..
well...whats done is done..
i wana skip tomoro........the whole *haappyyy birthday treeeeeeaat* routine...
i lost my hapy face and i dont like the substitue smiley wala....its broken frm the edges.
*sigh*
i hurt myself today....my elbo is like broken...doesnt matter now does it?
blegh!!
and whats up wit these ppl calling me up? not my frnds buh everyone elz? like dey giv a shit....dey wudnt knw if i died....and wish like ....blegh!
WHATEVER!

disturbingness!!!

soo yeah its been a while since i had a wild graphic dream...soo i kinda enjoyed it.

Its wasnt a triditional *cought in the middle of a war* dream dis time...it was...diffrent.
I miss havin a war dream....its been a while...anyway..

So i was in this room.....with HUGE aquariums...like HUGE....in one was a big giant human eating turtle...in one were those sharks with the nose like knies...what are they called? whatever....and big lizards in one...and ryte in the middle was a big swimming pool....only it wasnt underground but on top with walls of glass.....and there was a BIG crocodile....i think it was a salk water croc. So i was walking thru it looking at the croc....i hear this wistle sorta thing i go to chek it out it was a geaser sort thing which controlled the temperature of the water in the aquariums...
it was broken....and the room started to get hot...i try to fix it but i break it instead and the water starts boiling in the pool...so i run out. as i as i run out theres a blast....and wen i goo in theres blood all around....parts of animals scatterd here n there....and the wistle was blowing like *teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........*

it was.......weird!
Oh my prac wasnt as bad as i suspected....not evn close:D

this is why im hot!

they call me HELL;
they call me seXEE;
sumthing sumthing
sumthing....
thats not my name....

here she comes again screaming n crying.....i thot id tell her not to go but i dint...i ws too lazy to.
to be honest i dint evn care..its happend jus to many times...and i hate the way i never get used to it...it always comes as a shock....if evn for a second. Im not good wit consoling ppl....infact im really REALLY bad...its almost like not hapenin....im smiling....noone can evn see my face. Pity is the love i have for her....ssss man im crueL!

You kno it aint easy, for these thoughts here to leave me....she tryna console her...she mus be thinkin im such a fuking bych....i mean im done tryna make he feel better...i knw she wont...ive tried...for a lil too long and im tired now. it'll pass.....its been passing for past15 yers.....it'll pass again.....
ima big big gurl...in a big big world...its not a big big thing if its all craapy...

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet....miss him...:(:(

missing him alot....STOP TALKING:@
everyones a bych....so wen dey act like bych why get surprized...they are prone to act like that..what the big deal? its always been like this.