Thursday, July 30, 2009

sooch rai hoon James Blunt ki old cd nikaal ker songs copy karoon...
Gay...I feel gay!
Not gay-gay you perv...
Gay as in..full-of-light-heartedness-and-merriment-gay.

Bilal aint talking - Mariam is away!

I woke up 10:30....No ones home. Mum forgot to leave me money for food. She'll be back at 11 nyte. I just have 50 rs my maid found somewher in the h0ouse. And I had 2 forever toffees for breakfast. And I have no idea how it got in my fridge. But it was there. Anyway, what the hell am I gona eat? I wanted to cook. But....I need ingredients to cook ryte? And the ones I want are not in the house.

Im supposed to be losing weight. And I had 2...thats T W O scrambled eggs at 3 a.m...scrambled in butter. Thank God there was no cream cheese in the house. I wudnt have had less than 4 tbs otherwise. But dude....It tasted like heaven!!! I like eggs [The way I make em....like...ew..not THAT....like....ugh whatever]....

As I was saying...Im stranded here alone with no food and no movies. Though I secretly quite love the idea....But the whiner that I am....I like complaining...=D

Did I write the lizard story? I dont think I did....well....the light of my bathroom is all bitchy ryte...Its like it fluctuates and you wait for it to light up...but it never does....slut. Anyway...so yeah this baby lizard fell on my shoulder while I was tryna fix the damn thing...and I was like....what the hell is that but I cudnt see cuz it was dark...so I looked closely and I saw THAT pair of eyes...and after like 30 secnds I realized it was a lizard. So Im all....uhh....okay.....chill....Its not gona eat me. And then I thought Id brush it off of me with my hand...but I was scared it wud crawl in my sleeve...not scared...just its creepy...so I very calmly stopped breathing...it was on my shoulder and I dint want it to move....and then I walked out....went to my mamu...who cudnt see where the lizard was for like a whole minute since I was wearing this cheetah print thingie...and I was holding my breath all along....and then he saw the look on my face and then he was trying hard not to laugh...but I saw that smirk mamu...yes, I did. And then he like took a tisse and brushed it off me....and it was all cool then. Im brave yo!
It was a beautiful lizard....a baby lizard....I dint kill it...I love reptiles....unki bhi duniya hai...=(

Its 12:45 p.m. I have 10 hours all to myself. Just yestrday I was thinking how I would love to spend some time alone. Wish Granted!

Im not kidding...too much time on my hands!!

..Amna..says:
tum loag aye nai?

uzma says:
lol
bhool gai they

..Amna.. says:
Uzmaaaaa.!
ajaona yaar!
why are you ppl being so lazy?

uzma says:
kal ajaen?

..Amna.. says:
we waited for you guys..but u didnt show up..humara plan tha lakin cncl kerdia thaa.

uzma says:
ryyyteee
lol
i believe you amna

..Amna.. says:
nai wadaa!!
this time Im not lyin!

uzma says:
AllaH KA PAKKA WAADAA?

..Amna.. says:
haan haan !
kal nai aab sat ka kerlo!

uzma says:
pehley bolo Allah ka pakka waada!

..Amna.. says:
haan na Allah ka pakka wada!

uzma says:
lol
loser.

.....Too much time on my hands!!

uzma says:
im craving shadi ka khana
i feel like going to a wedding...its so weird

Mariam says:
lol
really I hate weddings in summer
I am so reluctant to go in this one but just to avoid the nagging I am going

uzma says:
well...i dont mind atentding one in 3 years.

Mariam says:
same herebut in summers-I can not take it

uzma says:
well yeah..
only if we dint have to dress up for a wedding..
it wud be much easier to just go and eat
they myte aswel send us food home ya know..
whats the whole point attending.

Mariam says:
lol
good one!
waise if I ever got married--I'd never throw lavish dinners even if I can afford
it's sheer waste according to me
and I know majority contradicts me when I say it cuz they don't agree

uzma says:
well....id like one nikah masjid mai...
and a valima dinner.
just one dinner
no mehendi n shit.

Mariam says:
hmm
I would like to have a nice and decent nikah and a very simple rukhsati

uzma says:
rukhsati are soo over rated..
the whole dramatic routine.

Mariam says:
oh they are
it's so made-up
honestly it doesn't even look natural!

uzma says:
i just wana slap the bride....ryte there

Mariam says:
lol

uzma says:
in front of everyone a big smack on her face!

Mariam says:
and the bride's mother too

uzma says:
like shut up bitch...no one cares.

Mariam says:
hahhaha
I can actually imagine you do that

uzma says:
oooh...
that wud be fun...
*drools*

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I asked my brotehr to get me this movie and he ACTUALLY got it for me. And thats how I finally got my hands on 'the shining'...that old 1980 flick starring Jack Nicholson. Only Nicholson was nowhere to be found!! It was a stupid remake. With some Idiot playing terrance. Insult!

Dissapointment I tell you.

And this stupid kid. Damn he was annoying. I wanted to punch the shit out of him. No. Not just punch....rip his flesh apart with that cats paw thing....wait...I'll upload the image..

yeah!!!

Whatever Im depressed.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

One word - Hormones.
I am so NOT addicted to cookies. Shut up.
WE'RE OUT OF COOKIES. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Dear coke,

Are you shitting me ? What is this...sugar water youre selling?
Fuck you and your stupid flat shitty product. I am not satisfied.

With love,
Uzma.
Bunch of self-obsessed bastards and bitches.

Bunch of emotional idiots fucked cuz of the bastards and bitches.

Bunch of low life retards with selfish aims.

http://listverse.com/2009/07/20/top-10-gruesome-medieval-torture-devices/ This is what man is capable of.

Animals!

And all the dramatic emo shit cuz I havent had a proper home made meal for a month. Everything on this blog reflects my self pity. I am, after all, a product of this selfish society. Always unconsciously trying to justify my selfsih desires. Always blaming eveyrone else for my actions. This weird need to justify everything.

Bleh.

My lil friends here are driving me crazy. Excuse my mood swings.

Friday, July 24, 2009

"Do you miss your father?"

WHat kind of a pathetic and sick question is that, you dick?
Like what the hell?
Why do you have to know?
Why is that any of your business?
How is that making a difference in YOUR life?
Why are you curious at all?
Do you ask cuz you feel sorry for me?
Do you ask so can show your sympathy?
Or is it cuz youre so shocked that youre not able to think?

Whatever the case....it proves that youre a stupid fuck! And Ive had some pretty smart people ask me that.

Say...I chop off your leg...would you miss it?
All you stupid shits!
FINE. I admit. I saw half blood prince. But I DINT like it. Gaydore dies. And I had a crush on Professor snape when I first saw harry potter. But that was a long time back. I dint know any better. Whatever!
NEED LOSE WEIGHT!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I have no idea why I gave the title "into the mystic" to the last post!

Into the mystic.

After believing I'll die of spontaneous Human combustion for SIX years...Im starting to believe my death is going to be rather boring and cliche. Yup. I think Im gona die of a plain old heart attack. And I have my reasons to believe that. I often wake up with heart aches...:S
ew...that sounds so pathetic. Ugh. A mediocre death. Bleh. All I had was my death. That too now is taken away. Misery!

20 years of Absolute Nothingness.

Just gave my exam. 64%. Thats SIXTY FOUR PERCENT!!
So basically I got 12.8% per hour (studied for 5 hrs). But...kiaaaaw...I dint have time to study cuz I was busy doing the *group project* all alone! Yeah I can go around blaming everyone and shit. I cant say I dint waste time. Yeah I went at sania's and wasted time there when I cudve studied. Yeah I watched the remaining part of the 'black hawk down' which I missed the other day. But STILL!!
I deserved better:@
I've been working my ASS OFF YOU BITCH!!
Just...no....not fair. Like...kiaaa:(
Now I wont be able to get over this shit. And I never used to give a lil worthless fuck to grades...but THEN I started STUDYING. Like THAT ever does any good. Like....fuck man!
just....AARRRGGHHH!!!

And Im still not over the "you have a fake accent" shit...like FUCK OFF MAN!

But the donut was nice...I miss the donut:(
And I miss rain:(
And rains are depressing. But I miss it. But I dont want it back. But I miss it anyway. Yeah I know it sucked for everyone blah shit.

P.S. If you cant take care of children...DONT BE FUCKING PRODUCING THEM YOU FUCKER!!

[Note to self : People are no better than you. They only text when bored and cudnt care less about your pathetic life.]

People suck. And they suck big. And Im people. Only I dont suck as much.

And Ive said that before only a million times.

Through the storm we reach the shore...You give it all but I want more..

Musab Khabees.

Sab khabees.

Nadia thinks Im pretty....and she saw me for real. Not pic.
:(
*sniff*
I love you nadia!

[Note to self : Everyone will leave. Youre left with mostly Rida and Inc. Dont piss them off too bad.]

When? Oh WHEN are people gona learn the difference between "your" and "you're" I ask?
:(

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Bolo Bolo Tumne Kia dekha...*tan dan dhan*

Rida says:
bohemia =(

uzma says:
what abt it?

Rida says:
i like him

uzma says:
yeah hes cool
mora sayya mo se bole naa..

Rida says:
hahaha
tht reminds me
.....


[censored]


uzma says:
you know....sometimes mujhey lagta hai..
since amna in my khandan
to this *slut factor* kinda runs in the family..
im a bit like her too
i dont like it....
but still...
kinda..

Rida says:
lol
no it's not a slut factor

uzma says:
fun factor?

Rida says:
ermm

uzma says:
yeah change the name but means the same ryte



[censored]



Rida says:
uhun
but you're not committed
you like spending time with him tuo thts ok

uzma says:
yeah justify my slut ...

Rida says:
lol

uzma says:
i want an annonymous blog wher i can post shit against EVERYONE and post chats
like one together

Rida says:
u got 2 accounts?

uzma says:
like danish n wij
yeah i do

Rida says:
tuo bas

uzma says:
wher we can dis zain khulam khula

Rida says:
make one from the other account
hehe zain nahi

uzma says:
lol
acha



[censored]


........

Rida says:
and he actually understood

uzma says:
wait
what
WHAT
wow
okay
alive?
shit
bol
BOL
bolo bolo tumne kia dekha!!
bolo bolo tumne KIA DEKHA MERE jeevan main...
meri gaari dekhiii ya mera bangla dekhaa ya mera sara bank balance dekhaa
mera something dekha ya mera something dekha YA MERA TOOTA HUA DIL DEKHAAA
Mujhey pyaar tumse nahi hai PYAAR tumse naheen haaai..
okay
youre offline...


:\


and THATS why I reached 20 minutes late today, Mariam, Not cuz my USB was bitching. It wasnt. I lied. I lie. And Im not sorry. And Im not guilty. And its disturbing.
14 hours - 40 pages....*sigh*
Yet Im blogging.

Monday, July 13, 2009

*cough*

So I took a shower after like 2 days ....NO I wasnt being lazy I was SIck...like SICK!! Yeah! But I WAS being lazy today...I wasnt gona take one today cuz after being a total potato on the bed (not couch - bed!) I decided to get some work done...and I did...but lite chali gai:(
So I dint want to just not do anything....so I took a shower and it feels GREAT :D
I feel like I just came out of my old skin..like a snake....like *hssssssssssssss*.....Only to find my new skin is gray and purple....like a zombie....ZaaWmb-eh...ZaAwmb-eh-eh-eh-oh-oh-laaa-aa..

I love snakes:(

My eyes look empty...like...a vampires...like reddish black an no pupil...just dark emotion-less eyes....blank....*cold wind* *shiver*

Every time I cough its like My lungs will come out and they like come up till throat but then I stop coughing and they go back to their place...and this happens like a million times a day...slow death......hey rida...slow death:p
lol...sorry my humor is a lil dark:(

So here's a lil preview of the site Ive been working on....Its not all that..I mean c'mon its like my first project...so like....yeah!

This is the homepage....theres gona be news n shit sliding in the thin red bar..






And this is the...umm....not homepage..:S


okay...so its not the coolest thing...but...it took me like....my whole life. Like....kiaaaw..:(

Saturday, July 11, 2009

DIE WORLDCALL!!

THIS is what I feel like....






see that lil mouse in there? exactly how I feel....only shittier. And the mouse in the pic is prolly looking at the camera..but me...Im watching other fellow mice being tortured.

ANYWAY....need water...and time. ANYWAY....so everyone for some reason thinks im like party-in all the time...[which obviously is NOT true]....so im like this lucky person everyone wud like to trade their life with...

"oh...you have a pc, ac and a full mirror in your room...perfect"

"wow...I wish I were busy like you.."

"you dont seem to care...youre so lucky.."

"....you [insert some bullshit here]...youre so lucky.."

like...okay..:\

...I was gona write all the bullshit negative points here but I kinda like...dont feel like.

umm...why is this shit leaving 2 lines everytime I press enter?:s

seee..:\

bleh..

Arsalan took my sketch to scan and wont return it now...he likes it alryte...but dude...MINE..:

Everytime I sneeze its like Im sneezing my brains out...and soon I wont have any left....and I'll be all dumb...and just...be lame...er......and just...like....die....I dont like flu. And tonsils SUCK man...like...someones constantly poking a fork in my throat...like breathing hurts *slits throat*

......

And I dont like the site that nice dude made for me. I was just sitting there texting and eating and he was doing all my work and his class was at 5 but he came to help ME out at 12...and I dint reach till 1...so..like...yeah....ANYWAY...dont like the site....mine was like SO much better. I'll just copy his code on my template...well...some of it.

So...I like need to lose weight...got all these comments in just 8 hours :

"Uzma...I never thought Id ever look thinner than you..like...awsome"

"Mashallah....khuraak to dekho.." o_O

*me bumping in a desk moving it a lil* "...oh..itna wazan"

"aapko dekh ker lagta nai hai itna khati hain"

sides the first...rest were from people I had just met today.....like...why the fuck is my weight any of your business...:O

yeah...need lose weight anyway....neeend....sir dard....need.....die....nOw....oh Oh... Mariam had a fight with her husband and he left the house..:\

so she was all...."hey...give me some suicide tips..."

and i was all..."uh...dont slit your wrist...thats lame...try throat....."

and she was all...."youre actually giving me tips yo...youre crazy"

:\

Im not crazy.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Interaction between two passive receptors...

------------------------------------------------

PR1 : sup!

PR2 : noing, my grandma died...at uncles place.

PR1 : oh...ridas grandma died too...when did yours die?

PR2 : on sunday..

PR1 : her's died on wednesday. So what doing?

PR2 : eating biryani.

PR1 : funeral ki...?

PR2 : yep.

PR1 : is it good?

PR2 : yeah...I had it yesterday too.

PR1 : ahan im craving biryani for the past 3 days....upset?

PR2 : duh..

PR1 : so...sup.

PR2 : noing....thinking about doing homework...

------------------------------------------------

Monday, July 6, 2009

Post # 102.

So ive decided to write a post which doesnt start with a "so"...wait....shit....bleh..
ANYWAY....I need a new play list...I cant remember the last time i downloaded a good song and i dont have much music on my pc...and NO Im not one of the "OH I have a million GB of metal and a billion GB full of goth music...oh my God Im like the coolest thing"...No I dont have all that crap. And NO Im not a music freak....I thought I was....but Im like...NOT. So yeah...need songs.

I have to send my progress report today...We havent made any progress yet...but thats another issue....But wont you remind me to mail it, pweeez?:p

oh...here are some tips if you planin to commit suicide :

* Do NOT cut your wrist [you wont die you'll just make yourself look very cheap. If you wana die myte aswel do it with style yo!]

* Do NOT eat a billion ponstan/disprin/panadol - they're just pain killers not wuss killers!

* Do NOT inform a bunch of people before dying....some one will prolly come save you. Unless of course youre just looking for some attention and sympathy.

* If you tell people youre gona commit suicide 3 times...and TRY to cmmit suicide but survive...people WILL lose interest in your death. [Also get annoyed]

* Drink potassium cyanide - death guaranteed!

* Slit your throat open...the skin around trachea is much harder than you think...so youre gona need something super sharp and a lot of strength and have to be VERY quick. But hey...its gona make an awsome death scene...whoever finds your body will be fucked for life. You'll make a difference in someones life for sure!!

so yeah....its not that hard. Just try not to bother people before dying...you dont want em sayin "shuker hai!" now do you?

Oh...I made a sketch after a long time. Made clouds for the first time so a lil screwd. But not bad I guess.



YES I know the hand is a lil screwd and out of place.

:\

Friday, July 3, 2009

PENCIL KI NIP TOOT GAI BHENCHOD!!!!!

ARRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post # 100

Today :

I had to go for my class 1-5...1-2 we were supposed to work on our project, 3 was supposed to be a test and 4 was supposed to be our class.
But thats not exactly how it all happened. I was half n hour late as usual..Faizan the Genius wasnt there...Mariam and I were hungry...so we went out for lunch. On our way back...our honest 'Police wala' caught us cuz we were goin the 'wrong way'...and mariam dint have her driving license...or the other 'gari kay kagzaat' or a real NIC.... But the honest police wala was way too kind to us...so much that he offerd to give us consession on the 'chalaan'.
For about 10 minutes mariam was trying to convince him that the road isnt one way and she actually saw a couple of cars going in the other direction [which obviously she dint see]. THEN he said since we were driving without a license n all we have to pay the chalan...then mariam asked him if he would like to talk to her husband...but sadly none of us had any credit [including the police wala]...and then we giggled for the next 3 minutes...and then he offered us drinks...:\
now wasnt he the kindest the most understanding creature? I dont WHY everyone thinks our traffic police is gay!!:p
....THEN we went back to the class...and guess what? The genius still wasnt there! But Arsalan came just to give us the logo we asked him to make...and he isnt even in our group. AND he offered more help...Faizan finally came 3:30...and then for the next 30 minutes me and mariam were dissing him for being late and making us wait. Then the teacher came and we all refused to give the test cuz we all had our own individual excuses....

Rao : "Miss meri USB kharaab hogai I cudnt read the MCQ's you gave us."
Arsalan : "Miss mai to bhool gaya tha mujhey laga monday ko hai."
Zaid : "what test?"
Mariam : "Miss main aj bohat udaas hoon mari gari ki headlight toot gai mai test nai de sakty."
ME : "Miss Rao ki USB kharaab thi usney nai perha. We'll give the test tomoro."

[Told you im not creative :: for more evidence refer to the title of my post]

So at 4:40 we finally gave the test - went pretty good.
and then till 5:20 me and mariam were telling Faizan to get the work done and glaring at him and surfing the net. So it was fun.

And...its all so weird now. I mean....Its funny....even when everything turns out to be exactly the way you want....you still want more. And its just plain funny. And humans are not meant to be satisfied - ever. Always want everything a lil different from how it actually is.
Half the people are busy not giving a shit and the other half is dying for the other half to give a shit.
And I have a feeling I dont make sense to the reader [I do make complete sense to myself of course, since I know exactly what Im talking about.]

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Post # 99

Never under estimate the power of a cheap indian song - it can do wonders.


If you ignore a person for 3 days straight - you're bound to be noticed the 4th day.


Nido plus and Nido do NOT taste the same.


The percept of the third person is always vague no matter how clear - Never to be applied by the first or second person.


If its too good to be true - It isnt true.


...

I feel like me again.

So I was going for a shower but decided to share my feelings with my beloved blog instead. Ive been waiting to feel shitty so I can write and honestly, I CANT write unless Im feeling shitty and hating everything and everyone...know why? CUz Im not really creative.....I cant make a piece of shit sound interesting unless I have someone to ridicule. Yep.
I fucking HATE making tea and if you dont like the tea I make - get your lazy fuck up and make it your own fucking self you fucktard! And FUCK YOU merchant For noticing my ACCENT like IT WASNT CONSCIOUS and FUCK YOU MARIAM [not you mariam] for being around me with thaT Canadian accent and Fuck me for adopting that FUCKING accent and making it sound like the fakest shittiest canadian shit EVER. AND FUCK YOU ABDULLAH [not you dabby <3 ] for being such a fucking stuck up. LIKE GET LAID YOU FUCK - NO ONE CARES!! AND FUCK YOU worldcall youre the most pathetic the most shittiest connection a fuck could use!! and junaid...yeah fuck you too for being so aloof all the time and not fixing firefox. And FUCK YOU BILAL THAT WASNT FUNNY YOU IDIOT - get a fucking dictionary and find out the fucking difference between offence and humor!!
Rida - fuck you too for popping my bubble:(


and fuck YOU for your doubts.