Its raining awesomeness here. All dark n gray n gloomy.
It reminds me of...umm...that day we went out in the rain and had pani puri or was it bbq....cant remember. It was so beautiful outside that I avoided food. I avoided FOOD to look at the rain.
Then they went out to get something and I stayed in the backseat of the car....staring outside. Wondering shit. Then we just drove around till it was completely dark.
I was....err....10 I think. Something about that day. Something weird. Something that made me feel complete and sad at the same time. Complete cuz it was perfect. Sad cuz it wasn't true. It wasn't my place there.
I wish this blog were'nt public ryte now. Keeps me from writing.
On a more happier note....umm.....No I dont have anything funny to say. I thought I did but I dont. So. Yea. I'll just leave it to that.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Mr. Bruce Sprinsteen, you're a perv and a pedo, sirre.
The following are the lyrics of the song "Im on fire" by Bruce Sprinsteen. Please let me know if you find these lyrics disturbing.
Hey little girl [wtf?]
is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone [wtf]
I got a bad desire
Im on fire
Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do [wtf?]
I can take you higher
Im on fire
Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull
and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet [wtff?]
And a freight train running through theMiddle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
Im on fire
---
Ive been trying to ignore it for quite some time now but Ive had enough. Seriously no one finds it disturbing? Seriously? No one?
Hey little girl [wtf?]
is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone [wtf]
I got a bad desire
Im on fire
Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do [wtf?]
I can take you higher
Im on fire
Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull
and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet [wtff?]
And a freight train running through theMiddle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
Im on fire
---
Ive been trying to ignore it for quite some time now but Ive had enough. Seriously no one finds it disturbing? Seriously? No one?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Life is gona suck ass 5 years from now.
According to everyone whose above 30 :
THESE are supposed to be the good happy "care-free" days....where Im supposed to enjoy life to the fullest.
But guess what? Theyre not all that. And since future, no matter how good n awesome, isnt gona be as awesome as "these days" THIS basically is supposed to be the height of awesome-ness in my life.
By the time I hit 25 im gona be married to some strange loser my mum n papa picks out and Im gona hate it. Im gona get bored of HIM after like a month and hate my life and feel useless unless im working....but then i'll be too lazy to work and i'll just be home watching tv and eating and get fat and feel sorry for myself....and the dude is gona lose interest in me soon....I mean....statistically speaking, I cant seem to amuse a guy for more than a month...and this is my experience talking. And a month is too much...never lasts for more than 21 days actually but never mind that. So yeah....soon Im gona get a divorce and will be too cool to tell my mum and will prolly end up doing drugs and politics.....so yes....My life is gona SUCK ASS.
So I have like 5 years to do whatever I want....but then again...I dont wana do anything cuz according to this bogus theory Ive lived the best days of my life. Like what the fuck man?
My life sucked. Like SUCKED. I mean.....like....what the fuck man?
I refuse to believe this shit.
THESE are supposed to be the good happy "care-free" days....where Im supposed to enjoy life to the fullest.
But guess what? Theyre not all that. And since future, no matter how good n awesome, isnt gona be as awesome as "these days" THIS basically is supposed to be the height of awesome-ness in my life.
By the time I hit 25 im gona be married to some strange loser my mum n papa picks out and Im gona hate it. Im gona get bored of HIM after like a month and hate my life and feel useless unless im working....but then i'll be too lazy to work and i'll just be home watching tv and eating and get fat and feel sorry for myself....and the dude is gona lose interest in me soon....I mean....statistically speaking, I cant seem to amuse a guy for more than a month...and this is my experience talking. And a month is too much...never lasts for more than 21 days actually but never mind that. So yeah....soon Im gona get a divorce and will be too cool to tell my mum and will prolly end up doing drugs and politics.....so yes....My life is gona SUCK ASS.
So I have like 5 years to do whatever I want....but then again...I dont wana do anything cuz according to this bogus theory Ive lived the best days of my life. Like what the fuck man?
My life sucked. Like SUCKED. I mean.....like....what the fuck man?
I refuse to believe this shit.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Meri ammi bohat Cool hain...:D
She totally scared my principal....and that lady who was wearing green....and Muraad Baba....and Anil dude....like...Im so proud of her....*tears*
And I finally got my cell back after a week. It was confiscated. Some gay rule and a gay president. Whatever.
So.
Uh..
Yea Im done writing.
She totally scared my principal....and that lady who was wearing green....and Muraad Baba....and Anil dude....like...Im so proud of her....*tears*
And I finally got my cell back after a week. It was confiscated. Some gay rule and a gay president. Whatever.
So.
Uh..
Yea Im done writing.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Desensitization.
People are not meant to be trusted [includes friends and family]. Not because they're all out there to get you or want to harm you on purpose, but because you never know what kind of a situation a person will be in and you don't know what choices will the person have and what will be the reaction. That being said - everyone is a sucker when it comes down to emotions.
Just a few of us manage to escape - and when we do - we make sure the rest remain trapped. Why? To manipulate. Why? To make the situation suit our temperament. Why? To feel better [and secretly superior]. But why escape emotions to feel again? This I haven't figured out as yet.
The theory in process is something to do with capturing emotions and ruling them. But. No.
We were discussing desensitization the other day in psychology.
Desensitization :
make somebody less sensitive to fear : to make somebody less responsive to an overwhelming fear by repeated exposure to the feared situation or object, either in natural or artificial circumstances.
Dont you just love this thing rida?:D
Just a few of us manage to escape - and when we do - we make sure the rest remain trapped. Why? To manipulate. Why? To make the situation suit our temperament. Why? To feel better [and secretly superior]. But why escape emotions to feel again? This I haven't figured out as yet.
The theory in process is something to do with capturing emotions and ruling them. But. No.
We were discussing desensitization the other day in psychology.
Desensitization :
make somebody less sensitive to fear : to make somebody less responsive to an overwhelming fear by repeated exposure to the feared situation or object, either in natural or artificial circumstances.
My cousin is scared of heights and sharp objects. Another scared of public humiliation. My mummy scared of millipedes. Interesting.
Which reminds me of this beautiful shocking pink dragon millipede which shoots cyanide from its mouth. How cool is THAT? :D
Dont you just love this thing rida?:D
I PAr-TAY-ed yesterday for 8 hours straight. Party-ing for some very odd reason, sobers me down.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Pakistan khappey!
So just like every other patriotic Pakistani citizen [who wud eat shit - and more - for a green card] I too woke up at 6 a.m. and said my Independence day prayers [if theres any such thing] and got dressed in a white churi daar pyjama and a green kameez and a green and white dupatta and silver star and moon ear-rings, in order to represent the flag of our country. Then my friends, I went to Quaid-e-Azam ka mazaar to give salaam to the founder of our nation. After that I sang patriotic songs with my other fellow patriotic citizens for about an hour and now I am home watching various live transmissions on tv about the struggle our fore-fathers did for freedom and the love I see eveyrwhere makes me wana cry...
.....
N O T !
After having restless-leg-syndrome for about 15 years, my mum suddenly asked me today not to move my leg - "naisty hoti hai"...
:\
.....
N O T !
After having restless-leg-syndrome for about 15 years, my mum suddenly asked me today not to move my leg - "naisty hoti hai"...
:\
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Itney cute cute bachey hotey hain blogger per. [And by cute bachey I dont mean cute boys Im crushing on - just cute kids-teens in general!]
Their blogs are so cute and full of life. They make me smile.
Also stupid....buh who am I to say that? My shits stupid too.
My mum jus texted me sayin "Uzma national song download karo"
.....umm...
Why maa?
:\
I thought Id have a life once my college starts....but Ive been wrong before.
I feel dumb yO!
I need learn new stuff and read stuff and find out creepy stuff in order to geet rid of this shit.
Yeap.
Its that simple.
Yea.
Their blogs are so cute and full of life. They make me smile.
Also stupid....buh who am I to say that? My shits stupid too.
My mum jus texted me sayin "Uzma national song download karo"
.....umm...
Why maa?
:\
I thought Id have a life once my college starts....but Ive been wrong before.
I feel dumb yO!
I need learn new stuff and read stuff and find out creepy stuff in order to geet rid of this shit.
Yeap.
Its that simple.
Yea.
:\
Itni loser hogai hoon.
Moti bhi hogai hoon.
Kuch karne ka dil nai chata.
Motivation hi khatam hogai hai.
Its weird.
I feel Weird.
But no...not like feel-feel.
My brain keeps telling me its all weird and then I try to feel weird.
But...its...I dont know.
Nothings wrong. Everythings fine.
Nothing unusual. Just the usual.
I dont know.
Its not the first time.
But it always comes as a surprise.
I hate how sometimes you can never get used to things that happen so often.
Whole lota emo shit.
I need some brain-storming.
But then again...dil nai chata for anything.
I sound emo. I hate this.
Im trying so hard for any kind of distraction.
Trying hard to interest myself into something.
Anything at all.
Failing.
Failing miserably.
Tried using people.
Even tried manipulating myself.
Failed.
I hate this.
Emo shit.
Section A - Section B.
Deep.
Emo!
Feels like the end.
It isnt - I know.
It will pass.
But I have to live it to end it.
I hate this.
Im tired of reasoning.
I dont want to.
I dont want to understand anymore.
It is how it is. No reason. No explanation.
Bus.
Moti bhi hogai hoon.
Kuch karne ka dil nai chata.
Motivation hi khatam hogai hai.
Its weird.
I feel Weird.
But no...not like feel-feel.
My brain keeps telling me its all weird and then I try to feel weird.
But...its...I dont know.
Nothings wrong. Everythings fine.
Nothing unusual. Just the usual.
I dont know.
Its not the first time.
But it always comes as a surprise.
I hate how sometimes you can never get used to things that happen so often.
Whole lota emo shit.
I need some brain-storming.
But then again...dil nai chata for anything.
I sound emo. I hate this.
Im trying so hard for any kind of distraction.
Trying hard to interest myself into something.
Anything at all.
Failing.
Failing miserably.
Tried using people.
Even tried manipulating myself.
Failed.
I hate this.
Emo shit.
Section A - Section B.
Deep.
Emo!
Feels like the end.
It isnt - I know.
It will pass.
But I have to live it to end it.
I hate this.
Im tired of reasoning.
I dont want to.
I dont want to understand anymore.
It is how it is. No reason. No explanation.
Bus.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Dont Bother.
Im tryna get in the flow...I cant. Trying. Trying hard. Kia hai. I dont like being passive all the time. My day sucked. Actually...no. It was pretty average. Rather Lame.
---
Me : "Uroozzzz..."
Woji : "zee..?"
Me : "Im bored."
Woji : "hmm.."
---
Mrs Caleb : "....and if your attendance is not up to 75% we will not only give you a TC, but also inform your father that your daughter has been bunking..."
Me : "Yea...Good luck with that!"
Woji : *awkwardly silent - staring at me not knowing how to react*
Afu : *HEHEHHEHEHE*
---
The lady I thought was teaching Natural science but wasnt : "......Section A - Section B..."
Me : "Does section A and section B remind you of operations? Like a C section or a body split open on the table...like someones about to perform an operation on someone...take out organs n shit..?"
Afu : *giggle*
Me : "Did it remind you of operations and blood?"
Afu : "No."
Me : "You think Im demented?"
Afu : "Yes."
---
ME : "Dude...I feel like turnin into some sort of liquid...like water....like I wana melt to the ground and spread and evaporate into thin air and just like not exist...dude....are you listening?"
Woji : *looking in my eyes and nodding* "Jee bikul sahi keh rahi hain aap...I know exactly what youre talking about and I understand what youre trying to say and I agree. Mai samajh rahi hoon aap kia kehna chah rahi hain. samajh rahi hain aap? I know...I understand what youre talking about. Jee. Bilkul. Sahi kaha."
---
See how much fun I have in college? Itni excitement nahi handle hoti mujh se.
---
Me : "Uroozzzz..."
Woji : "zee..?"
Me : "Im bored."
Woji : "hmm.."
---
Mrs Caleb : "....and if your attendance is not up to 75% we will not only give you a TC, but also inform your father that your daughter has been bunking..."
Me : "Yea...Good luck with that!"
Woji : *awkwardly silent - staring at me not knowing how to react*
Afu : *HEHEHHEHEHE*
---
The lady I thought was teaching Natural science but wasnt : "......Section A - Section B..."
Me : "Does section A and section B remind you of operations? Like a C section or a body split open on the table...like someones about to perform an operation on someone...take out organs n shit..?"
Afu : *giggle*
Me : "Did it remind you of operations and blood?"
Afu : "No."
Me : "You think Im demented?"
Afu : "Yes."
---
ME : "Dude...I feel like turnin into some sort of liquid...like water....like I wana melt to the ground and spread and evaporate into thin air and just like not exist...dude....are you listening?"
Woji : *looking in my eyes and nodding* "Jee bikul sahi keh rahi hain aap...I know exactly what youre talking about and I understand what youre trying to say and I agree. Mai samajh rahi hoon aap kia kehna chah rahi hain. samajh rahi hain aap? I know...I understand what youre talking about. Jee. Bilkul. Sahi kaha."
---
See how much fun I have in college? Itni excitement nahi handle hoti mujh se.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
If I were me and this blog belonged to someone other than me and I came across this blog as a strangers blog it wud piss the shit out of me!
I mean the whole pasting chats thing...Id go all...WTF is her problem some skank pasting her convos like anyone gives a shit...
yeah....I suck..
But, lo and Behold, I will be having a life from tomorrow. That is correct, dear reader, my college starts tomorrow and I will NOT be wasting time. Yes. Future. Career. Education. I will pay my full and complete attention to all the things I dont give a shit about.
I mean the whole pasting chats thing...Id go all...WTF is her problem some skank pasting her convos like anyone gives a shit...
yeah....I suck..
But, lo and Behold, I will be having a life from tomorrow. That is correct, dear reader, my college starts tomorrow and I will NOT be wasting time. Yes. Future. Career. Education. I will pay my full and complete attention to all the things I dont give a shit about.
jus cuz I dont have anything to write doesnt mean I dont ahve nothing to say....whatever that means...:\
uzma says:
foofs
fifa says:
wat?
uzma chan
uzma says:
sounds like poof eh?
fifa says:
yeah
y do u always come up with weird names for me
uzma says:
im creative..
fifa says:
yeah more like destructive for others
onee-chan
uzma says:
whats wit teh chan?
fifa says:
something i picked up from jap manga nd anime
uzma says:
what does it mean?
fifa says:
u guess
uzma says:
umm
dunno.
fifa says:
guess
uzma says:
shit?
dunno man
jus tell
fifa says:
big sister
lame i know
uzma says:
hmm yeah
very lame indeed.
so jakie chan mean jakie the big gay sister ?
fifa says:
lol
i guess
uzma says:
this dude from ****** ryte...the only nice sane one who doesnt go ther anymore,,
i think he has a crush on me
fifa says:
lol
yup
lets do stuff together
awwwwwwwwn
uzma says:
lol
the last thing i want is another guy tellin me hes in love with me.
fifa says:
its acrush it will pass
uzma says:
yeah..
they all confused by that thing called hormones.
fifa says:
lol wat moans
uzma says:
afu you perv!
fifa says:
i saw this movie ""Joshua"" it was creepy
the kid said dat
in the movie not my own thinking
uzma says:
yeah you too innocent to be doin all that dirty thinkin on your own.
fifa says:
i know perfect little angel
uzma says:
angel foof
fifa says:
u know now tht poof word is stuck in my brain
uzma says:
not much space ther is it?
one at a time
fifa says:
im watching a mosquito trying to suck blood out of me arm
uzma says:
interesting
fifa says:
dat far okay
its tickling
im gonna pick it up now then try to brake its sucking tube
uzma says:
funn
fifa says:
done
he wont b sucking anymore blood
uzma says:
good job.
fifa says:
lol
me bro taught me that
uzma says:
yeha i learned it on my own...
fifa says:
its also fun to drop them on top of the liquid mat
uzma says:
and pul their legs one by one
fifa says:
lol
uzma says:
and then pull one wing and leave one and a leg..
and watch em struggle.
fifa says:
that is a bit sadistic but still lol
uzma says:
oh and pullin its blood suking thing isnt.?
fifa says:
lol
Affu you hypocrite!!
foofs
fifa says:
wat?
uzma chan
uzma says:
sounds like poof eh?
fifa says:
yeah
y do u always come up with weird names for me
uzma says:
im creative..
fifa says:
yeah more like destructive for others
onee-chan
uzma says:
whats wit teh chan?
fifa says:
something i picked up from jap manga nd anime
uzma says:
what does it mean?
fifa says:
u guess
uzma says:
umm
dunno.
fifa says:
guess
uzma says:
shit?
dunno man
jus tell
fifa says:
big sister
lame i know
uzma says:
hmm yeah
very lame indeed.
so jakie chan mean jakie the big gay sister ?
fifa says:
lol
i guess
uzma says:
this dude from ****** ryte...the only nice sane one who doesnt go ther anymore,,
i think he has a crush on me
fifa says:
lol
yup
lets do stuff together
awwwwwwwwn
uzma says:
lol
the last thing i want is another guy tellin me hes in love with me.
fifa says:
its acrush it will pass
uzma says:
yeah..
they all confused by that thing called hormones.
fifa says:
lol wat moans
uzma says:
afu you perv!
fifa says:
i saw this movie ""Joshua"" it was creepy
the kid said dat
in the movie not my own thinking
uzma says:
yeah you too innocent to be doin all that dirty thinkin on your own.
fifa says:
i know perfect little angel
uzma says:
angel foof
fifa says:
u know now tht poof word is stuck in my brain
uzma says:
not much space ther is it?
one at a time
fifa says:
im watching a mosquito trying to suck blood out of me arm
uzma says:
interesting
fifa says:
dat far okay
its tickling
im gonna pick it up now then try to brake its sucking tube
uzma says:
funn
fifa says:
done
he wont b sucking anymore blood
uzma says:
good job.
fifa says:
lol
me bro taught me that
uzma says:
yeha i learned it on my own...
fifa says:
its also fun to drop them on top of the liquid mat
uzma says:
and pul their legs one by one
fifa says:
lol
uzma says:
and then pull one wing and leave one and a leg..
and watch em struggle.
fifa says:
that is a bit sadistic but still lol
uzma says:
oh and pullin its blood suking thing isnt.?
fifa says:
lol
Affu you hypocrite!!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
All you gata do is be my Love....<3
We had to go at ridas today ryte....so kainat told usher my mums dropping us and I told my mum mara is dropping us and me and kainat went all the way from 3 talwaar to gulshan Iqbal ALL the fuck ALONE in a Rickshaw while both of us had NO idea where we were goin.....that was fun...:D
I just hope my mum wont call mara and ask him...cuz...id be in deep shit then...and kainat bhi...
hehehhe...I FEEL WILD YO!!!:D
*loser*
I had a load of shit to write all funny stuff n all....during lunch and ...umm....I cant remember nothing...Rida do the honors on your blog pleeeeeisss...:D
<3
It was fun...Monday se college....
*slits wrist*
Oh damn I have to find my bag and books....shit...
ugh....kia hai bhui!!!!
Rida did me eye make up...I know typical eh..?
But It was nice yO....but then I have this bad habit of rubbing.....my EYE you perv!
and then I rubbed one eye and it came off - not the eye the make up....and then it was all swollen...the eye.....and...yeah....
I cant believe I cant remember the damn convo!!!!
:@
I just hope my mum wont call mara and ask him...cuz...id be in deep shit then...and kainat bhi...
hehehhe...I FEEL WILD YO!!!:D
*loser*
I had a load of shit to write all funny stuff n all....during lunch and ...umm....I cant remember nothing...Rida do the honors on your blog pleeeeeisss...:D
<3
It was fun...Monday se college....
*slits wrist*
Oh damn I have to find my bag and books....shit...
ugh....kia hai bhui!!!!
Rida did me eye make up...I know typical eh..?
But It was nice yO....but then I have this bad habit of rubbing.....my EYE you perv!
and then I rubbed one eye and it came off - not the eye the make up....and then it was all swollen...the eye.....and...yeah....
I cant believe I cant remember the damn convo!!!!
:@
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