The more you rub...

Today my mami came to meet me mom.
They sat and talked for seven hours straight.
Why did it bother me?
They were sitting in my room.
I share my room with my mom, you see.
More on family matters later.
So they were talking about old shit...everything bad that has happened.
Which made me think of everything that I've done.
And I ended up thinking..."What the fuck was I thinking?
I used to be a very stupid child, you see.
Especially the pre-teen years.
So fucking dumb.
I was one of those kids who never do anything but are still so damn annoying.
Ya know the ones who just greet and then sit in the corner. And you wonder "what the fuck is that kid upto?" and then you keep waiting for that annoying kid to do something so you have a reason to tell that kid off but nothing ever happens. And you keep waiting and the night is over and the kid leaves without doing anything and then you hate that kid for not doing anything and decide to slap the shit out of him the next time you catch the kid alone.
I was the 8 year old who hung out with twenty-something year olds.
I was the lonely kid playing all alone on the monkey bars at 2:30 pm in the month of July.
I was the dheet kid who gets ignored at the goody store and patiently waits twenty minutes before someone listens.

But then I hit puberty and got pissed off.
I started sketching and became bad ass, the bad assness was only in my head of course.
But I made more friends and actually started playing with other kids.
I fell in love with playing with kids, so much that when all of my friends decided to sit and talk because they were now too old to play baraf-pani and ride bicycle on the street, I became friends with kids five years younger than myself - the ones who were still interested in playing tip top and puncturing tires.
I was the rude emo of the school and the girl who never grew up at home.
Yeah...I too dont see the relation between the two personalities but I just was.

The point is...I sucked at having conversations.
I still do actually. But at least now I know what not to say.
This one time...I was 16 I think.
I went out with my best friend and her older sisters, who must have been more than 20 back then, and their friends.
So I was quiet the whole evening.
And then everyone's all..."dont you talk?"
and Im all "I do..."
And they're like.."then taaalk....say something....c'mon"
and I was all "umm...what do you want me to say?"
And they were all "anything...tell us a joke..."
and I was all "nah I dont know any good ones.."
And they were all..."oh c'moon....anything...tell us a dirty joke...doesnt matter"
and I was like..."okay...once a teacher entered the class and saw a little dick drawn on the board...she rubbed it...but the next day that drawing was still there but bigger...so she rubbed it again....the third day when she entered the class she saw a bigger drawing with a note saying the more you rub, the bigger it gets"

*awkward silence*

yeaaah...I was super annoying.
I'd totally slap me.