Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Analyzing Paki Weddings.

[Disclaimer : This post is inspired by my friends wedding which I recently attended. Although Ive lost total and complete interest in the following contents I still have to post it so I can tell myself to 'shut the fuck up already' the next time something like 'ugh, my feet still hurt' comes to my mind. Its psychological, even I dont fully understand the complex fucks in my head.
Also, you may find extreme 'girly' particles in the post. Please forgive me if you bang your key board out of frustration because you cant punch the shit out of me by the end of this post. Thank you for your cooperation.]

Lets start with the parlors...The bride has to dress up alryte...but 4 hours? Seriously? You need four hours to paint your face? 4 hours to not look like yourself? Isnt it a lil too much?
Any guy reading this...Do you seriously want your wife-to-be to put an inch fat layer of 'base' on her face? I dont get it. Mutlab...thora ziada nai hai? Like...isnt that fake? When did this trend start anyway? I think the whole idea is stupid! Brides should be simple and au naturelle! Ziada pretty lagti hain. [By the way...sania ended up looking totally gaw-jus! It was like The princess and the Ass.]

Which brings me to my second point....Why are the girls attending the wedding expected to leave their hair open and wear a blood red lip color?
And when they dont, why are they continuously asked 'why dint you dress up?'
Also, why do girls wear sleeve-less and capries in winter?
And when they do, why do they think theyre looking really hot standing in the corner shivering?
Are they expecting Edward Cullen/Shahrukh Khan [depending on their mentality] to pop out of somewhere and lend them his jacket and brush their hair aside while giving them a sparkling kiss on their dry skin [they also dont like wearing cold cream and have cracks on their face]?

Coming to the Dulha...Now....theek hai youre nervous and its you big day n shit...but..can you please not be so gay asking people if the picture they took of you is awesome or not?
I mean...you already look stupid sitting on the stage like a baboon [no offense]...just..mind it..yea? Also stop finding excuses to touch your wife...shes all yours to fuck...just wait till you guys are alone, okay? Stop grossing out people around you. Yes...people...ya know all the fools who cared enough to show up at YOUR stupid wedding. Yes. Them. Theyre around you and they can see you!

______________________

I had to go to park towers, all dressed up, with my two cousins [who were more than just dressed up] an hour before the wedding to buy my friends sister a dress cuz she had nothing to wear. I am going to impale the next person who says Im a bitch to my friends.
I wore heels for 8 hours, its been 3 days and I still cant feel my feet.
The cute guy my cousin was flirting the night away with ended up crushing on me. No I dont have a point to prove here I just wanted to mention it.
*Evil Grin*
...
But Im not in teh mooooood..=(
Gawd Uzma shut the fuck up already...nobody cares!

6 comments:

mao said...

First of all:


hahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha
ahahhahahahahahahahah
ahahahah
hahaha
hah
ha

things I agree with you:
1) dulha dulhan pawing - its gross. I hope I didn't do that too much of that when I got married. - I imagine. Argh. But when you are getting married you lose all sense of sensiblilty.
2)girls in capris and sleeveless and without lotion in winters - argh. Desperate-ness.
3)Red lipstick and much made-upness should be reserved for later - like when you are married or at least 30. I know, I'm ancient but still - u look like skanks versus the elegant desirable.

Things I don't agree with you:
1) Who wears heels to the wedding if you are the right-wing person of the dulhan?!?!? Flats, girl, flats!

Heels are good if you are just going there to sit.
2) Dulhan must put 4 hours of makeup. Its not the base - unless you go to a God Awful person - its the eye-shadowing and all the painting of blushes that they do. Well whatever they do, you DO want to look gawgeesssss....its worth the effort on your big day. But I have to admit the thing loses its charm on the second day for the walima.

uglyduckling91 said...

How cute was the cute guy? =o

uzme said...

I know...
I knew it was gona be terrible..but I wore full black...and the my black heels are so damn hot!
I wouldve been a sinner if I dint wear them=(

4 hours are too long...Im not doing that=(

uzme said...

@ ducky...According to my cousins..
He was like an angel...millionaire hai...o.O

s3ayA said...

i hav got to agr3 wid u...its da same 4 every dulha dulhan...

bt m mostly bored at weddings... jst dress up and sit and talk to people...

Bush. said...

I hate weddings. And my cousin was a perfect example of the dress up in winters. But her Husband was there for the coat job.. Almost. :P